Romeo and Juliet experience disaster in their lives partially due to inadequate parenting. Examine how well each parent/carer copes with his/her role.
Romeo and Juliet experience disaster in their lives partially due to inadequate parenting. Examine how well each parent/carer copes with his/her role.
Romeo and Juliet experience adversity ultimately ending in their deaths as they do not have alternative means to support their marriage; the society they reside in is hostile and their feuding families have an 'ancient grudge' so powerful and potent that the protagonists cannot disclose their love to their parents. Their inability to confide in their parents is due to the lack of communication. Instead of Romeo's and Juliet's parents providing love, care and affection these qualities are brought to them by the Nurse and Friar Lawrence who fulfil the duties and responsibilities of parenting far better than Romeo and Juliet's actual parents. However, as the play unravels both the Nurse and Friar Lawrence reveal weaknesses, lacking in character and moral strength; the Friar illustrates this when he abandons Juliet and the Nurse demonstrates this when she betrays Juliet leaving her stranded.
The parenting provided for both Romeo and Juliet is insufficient and consequently leaves them generating their own decisions. However, their choices are rushed and have little morality for they do not have the maturity to deal with their dilemma. Sufficient parenting involves care, love and guidance and Romeo and Juliet are lacking tremendously in some of these aspects of upbringing. Lord Capulet is certainly one of the causes of Juliet's poor parenting.
Lord Capulet domineers his relationships; his tyrannical nature dismisses Juliet when she refuses to marry Paris. He explodes into a violent and angry mood constantly cursing Juliet for her childish and unfaithful actions and at point in his uncontrolled anger he threatens to strike Juliet as his 'fingers itch'. Lord Capulet's forceful and uncontrolled actions create an arduous task for Juliet to approach him and explain her situation. It is Lord Capulet's unsupportive and inadequate parenting along with his insensitivity regarding Juliet's feeling and emotions which drives her away from her family, towards Romeo and eventually to her suicide.
Lord Capulet is too rapid and abrupt. His quick, decisive and impatient actions regarding his daughters wedding to Paris is rushed. The original engagement was on Thursday and was advanced until 'Tuesday morning' this advance in time is purely of haste and assumptions on Juliet's mental state after the bereavement of Tybalt. In reality, this change in time effectively produced the over ambitious plan and put together the death of Romeo and Juliet. Lord Capulet assumes he understands his daughters' feelings and emotions however entirely unaware of the ultimate consequences. There are positive aspects to Lord Capulet's parenting.
He can be affectionate; he gives praise, respect and recognition. In the opening Juliet was described by her father as 'blessed child'. This illustrates that Lord Capulet shows affection for her daughter as long as she complies with his rules and ambitions for her. He seems to have his daughters' best interests at heart and regardless of the unfortunate outcome, Lord Capulet would never intentionally jeopardise his daughters life for she is the one of many children whom has survived birth. This shows that he cares for Juliet but does not reveal his feelings and emotions to Juliet ...
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He can be affectionate; he gives praise, respect and recognition. In the opening Juliet was described by her father as 'blessed child'. This illustrates that Lord Capulet shows affection for her daughter as long as she complies with his rules and ambitions for her. He seems to have his daughters' best interests at heart and regardless of the unfortunate outcome, Lord Capulet would never intentionally jeopardise his daughters life for she is the one of many children whom has survived birth. This shows that he cares for Juliet but does not reveal his feelings and emotions to Juliet in order to remain a dominant figure; his wife is a very similar type of character.
Lady Capulet considers her relationship with Juliet as duty rather than a privilege. She does not seem to have a particular affectionate relationship with her daughter, but leaves her to the Nurse. The relationship she shares with Juliet is formal, abrupt and somewhat artificial which is striking for usually the relationship between mother and daughter is informal and the language spoken is natural rather than artificial. This illustrates than Lady Capulet shows little affection for Juliet which cumulatively adds to Juliet's grief eventually causing her death. It is only after lady Capulet believes that Juliet has died that she shows genuine grief.
Lady Capulet shows love and affection as she mourns the supposed death of Juliet. She describes the day as 'accursed, unhappy, wretched, hateful day' she continuous with similar uncontrolled language and this reveals her true feelings. She loves Juliet but she cannot provide for her for she does not how to. Her grief is genuine. Although she is inadequate s a mother, she has provided a substitute parental figure, the Nurse.
The Nurse tries to defend Juliet, even though she is a trusted member of the household, The Nurse is abused when she tries to support Juliet. Juliet's parents cannot understand why she does not want to marry a rich husband. This was clearly Lady Capulet's attitude when she married Capulet. Juliet states that unless the marriage can at least be delayed, her bridal bed will be 'in the monument where Tybalt lies'. Her mother rejects her: she has 'done with' Juliet. In desperation Juliet returns to the Nurse.
The Nurse is a very affectionate character. She cares deeply for Juliet and shows this throughout the play, a particular example of this is when the Nurse calls for Juliet after Lady Capulet's attempts have resulted unsuccessful. The Nurse calls
'Where's this girl? What Juliet!'
Immediately after she calls, Juliet enters, this shows that the relationship between both the Nurse and Juliet is very strong. The Nurse is very communicative yet assertive in her actions; she does not domineer her relationships but still has a firm control over Juliet. The parenting shown by the Nurse is what it should be. Although the Nurse may show numerous positive qualities she has negative ones also.
The advice that the Nurse gives is Juliet is she 'think it the best' she 'married the county'. The advice is well intentioned and the Nurse seems to be trying to comfort and please her mistress, but Juliet is quietly furious and calls her a 'wicked fiend' when she has gone. This marks the severing of Juliet's esteem and friendship for her Nurse. Both Romeo and Juliet are now left almost alone, Romeo banished to Mantua and Juliet deserted by those whom she looked for help and support. The Nurse's attitude is unlike of that of a parent. She should support her mistress and advise her to follow true love rather than taking the easy option and suggesting bigamy. This is very uncharacteristic of the Nurse. At this point only the Friar remains faithful and even he will fail them at their hour of greatest need in the tomb.
The Friar is amazed that Romeo has fallen out of love and in again so quickly, but he agrees to help him. The Friar's remarks here are very observant and understands that his love for Rosaline is infatuation, he thinks this when he says 'young men's love lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes'. However, Friar Lawrence is a very wise man and realises that his love for Juliet is sincere, and being a man of the church and supporting true love, he decides to be Romeo's 'assistant'. Friar Lawrence has taken the responsibility of parenting Romeo, he is currently coping the situation very well, contemplating all the issues surrounding the situation and producing wise decisions.
Friar Lawrence is an extremely wise and sensible man; in Friar Lawrence's cell when he is preparing to wed both Romeo and Juliet he says 'Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow'. Friar Lawrence is suggesting loving moderately, not with too much haste and passion not with too little interest and emotion. He says this to Romeo, he is parenting him and parenting him well however, his wise and rational reasoning with Romeo, later are over powered by his spineless and cowardly actions, leaving Juliet alone in the tomb.
Friar Lawrence fails Romeo and Juliet at their hour of greatest in the tomb. The Friar arrives but is to late save the lives of Paris and Romeo. He urges the awakened Juliet to escape with him when he tells her 'a greater power than we can contradict hath thwarted out intents'. Unable to persuade her to leave, the friar panics and runs away. He shows cowardice and uncharacteristic behaviour when he does so although redeems himself when confessing to Prince Esculas. The Friar as a parental figure has failed his duties when panicking and leaving Juliet alone ultimately causing the death of the two lovers.
Montague and his wife have been thinly characterised and occupy predictable roles. As all parents, Romeos parents are similar; they cannot understand the youth and cannot communicate with them. This is shown when Benvolio asks Montague what is wrong with Romeo, Montague says 'I neither know it, nor can I learn from it'. He is confused and cannot understand that he has been the victim of unrequited love. It is Benvolio who has to shed the news. His unfamiliarity with his sons business shows how little they understand their son, and how slightly they can communicate and with all relationships a lack of communication results in a poor relationship. In this case, Montague's are providing insufficient parenting for their son, Romeo.
Although they show a lack of understanding regarding their son, it is certainly clear that they have good intentions and care for him deeply. This is illustrated by both Montague and his wife. Montague shows this when he defends his son from banishment from Verona, 'Not Romeo, Prince, he was Mercutio's friend', Montague pleads with Prince Esculas for leniency on Romeo's behalf. This shows that although Montague may not provide sufficient and adequate parenting, he does care for Romeo and this is more powerfully illustrated by the death of Lady Montague. The death of Lady Montague is presented by her husband. He says 'Alas, my liege, my wife is dead tonight; Grief of my son's exile hath stopped her breath'. This demonstrates that lady Montague has considerable love for Romeo; she dies at the news of Romeo's banishment. However, her role as a parental figure is not fulfilled, she says 'where is Romeo?' even she does not where her son is. Is the communication between Lady Montague and her mother been stronger, the tragedy may have been avoided; and it is the lack of parenting on her and her husband behalf which results in the tragedy.
Romeo and Juliet's untimely deaths are the result parental figures not fulfilling their parental responsibilities competently. Each parental figure shows weaknesses in their character and combined they each play a significant and highly influential role upon Romeo and Juliet's deaths. Certain characters are more to blame for the lover's deaths. The two characters who are the most to blame are Lord Capulet and Friar Lawrence; Lord Capulet for his domineering, uncompromising and relentless personality and Friar Lawrence for his betrayal, naivety and overambitious plan which falters. It is these two characters that are combined which have the worst affect on Romeo and Juliet and regardless of how well intentioned or well meaning they were they never fulfilled their duties competently. The character that completed her duties better than Lord Capulet and the Friar Lawrence is the Nurse.
The Nurse, like the Friar is well intentioned and well meaning. She agrees to aid the elopement of Romeo and Juliet. Nevertheless, she falters when she suggests marrying County Paris. She is a seriously concerned about Juliet's happiness and helps her significantly to keep Juliet happy regardless of what the consequences if Lord and Lady Capulet were to find out her involvement. This is what a parental figure should try to accomplish. The Nurse is the best parental figure in the play.