• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

'A Closer Look' Crime Story + Commentary

Extracts from this document...


A Closer Look I could feel the perspiration on my forehead; tension in my shoulders; a hard gnawing feeling of panic in my stomach. I had to get this right. One wrong move and... No - failure was not an option. At precisely 08:00 he arrived to open the doors, punctual as ever. Even from a top floor flat three blocks away, I could see him clearer than if I was just three metres from him, as I carefully adjusted the lens on my binoculars. Casually he stepped out of his silver Mercedes-Benz, A-class. Wearing a smart, linen three piece, he was tall, clean-shaven and business-like. He made his way from the car park to unlock the front entrance to the bank. I put down my binoculars and turned my attention to the television screen sat next to me. I could now see him on the camera I had installed inside the bank earlier that week. It had not been easy. Three days before, having closely observed the comings and goings of the security guards and scheduled a timetable of their everyday movements, I knew precisely when the opportunity would present itself. And when it did, I was ready. Having gained access to the bank, a dark hooded jacket and a scarf disguised my appearance perfectly. ...read more.


I quickly looked down at my newspaper, but it was too late. Shit - he knew. Panicking, the man sprinted for his Merc. "GO, GO, GO!" I shouted down my radio. Within a split second my undercover colleagues leapt into action from their ready positions. The man froze in sheer terror surrounded by eight Specialist Firearms Officers each aiming an MSG-90 semi-automatic directly at his head. "Slowly put your hands on your head and kneel down on the ground!" screamed the chief officer. With a look of complete shock and disbelief, the man did as he was told, and as he slowly raised his hands to his head, I could see the silver ring on the middle finger of his right hand. The very same ring I had seen on the CCTV camera as I zoomed in on him tapping in the code for the vault that morning; the very same ring that linked him right into the heart of our investigation. I swiftly made my way over to arrest him. We'd done it. Months and months of close surveillance had finally paid off. We had our man. The passengers on the 04:00 flight to New York would arrive safely. By then the last of the 9/11 terrorists would be firmly behind bars. ...read more.


This keeps the reader entertained through building tension. I also used a balanced complex sentence, "I felt somewhat edgy; somewhat sceptical", enabling me to reflect the precision of the "operation" whilst reinforcing the appeal to my target audience. Whilst I used a variety of sentence structures in my piece, I kept paragraphs quite short. This was in order to stay in keeping with the crime fiction genre and the style models, particularly Cussler's 'The Chase' which also uses short paragraphs. I also decided to keep the narrator's character less developed than I had originally done so in my first draft, similarly to Cussler's narrator who is kept quite restrained also. This has greater appeal to the target audience who are more entertained by action and content rather than longwinded character descriptions. I feel that overall one of the most important linguistic methods I used was the manipulation of the crime lexis. By creating a semantic field of crime and observation through use of words and phrases which are familiar to the target audience, the genre of the piece became clearly defined. I believe another technique that was vital in creating my piece was the use of varying sentence structures. This allowed me to successfully create a discourse structure that remains fluent whilst also keeping the audience entertained and in suspense throughout. ?? ?? ?? ?? ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our AS and A Level Composition section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related AS and A Level Composition essays

  1. Short story 'A Little of What Was Deserved' with attached commentary

    The only escape she could get from feeling this was to be sick and this escape would only last until she ate again. Her mind flicked back and searched for a time when things hadn't been this way. She felt she had always been slightly over-weight and yet it had never really played a big part in her life.

  2. Loneliness in The Catcher in The Rye (persuasive essay)

    Naturally, to catch someone, one must directly touch them. When Mr. Antolini touches Holden to catch him, he breaks Holden's rule of not touching. Holden gets very nervous and angry at Mr. Antolini, and he shows his anger by yelling "What the hellya doing?" (Salinger 249). He then thinks to himself, "...boy, was I nervous!

  1. "Strangers": a short story. My name is Dean and its everyone else thats crazy, ...

    Anxious boy catches my attention quite suddenly and I'm not even surprised: this kind of thing always seems to happen once I've made a resolve. He's huddled in the corner of a strictly-coffee caf´┐Ż in the classic 'leave me alone' pose - but I figure if I don't live by my own rules, what am I living for?

  2. English - Commentary

    I felt that by concluding with another fact it would keep their attention even after they had finished reading. Magazines always try to throw in any hint of fame or celebrity to boost their story, and I felt that it would appeal interesting to someone, especially tourists.

  1. An essential element of a short story is its ending. Discuss this statement with ...

    Now in the paragraph above the writer has explained how the two different families reacted to Madame and Monsieur d' Hubires proposal. As you can see the writer shown that the Tuvaches were totally disgusted at the offer of selling one of their children, but the Vallins looked at how

  2. English short story.

    She walked slowly across the long dark corridor, and to the bathrooms, yet something had made her stop to a complete halt. She found herself standing beside the isolated room, which was half closed, with the three beautiful pictures, one of them that she admired very much.

  1. Horror Story

    He got the glue putty to fill the big gaps beneath the door. Next, tape was used to seal around the edges, then glue to seal the edges of the tape. With all the candles there, this shouldn't take longer than a day.

  2. Witness 1985 Short Story. Composition and commentary.

    What was he going to do? He went to the station that night to get the files. The file room was deserted but that didn?t stop him looking over his should every three seconds. The paper shredder was waiting in his study when he got home.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work