A Wee Story of My Life (reflective essay)

Authors Avatar by roryconnellstewart (student)

The Wee Story of my Life

I have always struggled to pee accurately in my own home. It’s not a complete inability; I don’t stroll into bathrooms in beautiful restaurants and urinate all over the tiles; nor do I have a bladder control problem. No, the sad reality is, I am perfectly able to pee accurately in my own home, I just see it as something I’d rather not do. So, for reasons unknown, when I’m done with my pee, pools of ugly urine are left staring up at me from the toilet seat.

Unfortunately for me, there is no better metaphor to describe my life. In a family of very high achievers – my mother with a PhD and my father a former international Irish rugby player, even my younger brother well on the way to representing Scotland at the same sport – an accurate assumption could be that I too would be a chap of high attainment.

I am not. You see, if something takes effort to achieve, I will almost certainly steer clear of it. Because of my extreme dislike for hard labour, or soft labour for that matter, I rarely achieve anything greater than mediocrity. To refer back to the previous anecdote: in theory, I could easily wee-wee on target, however more often than not, I refuse to try. In so doing, I have to deal with the hideous sight of my urine splashing off-target and listen to the clamour of my poor mother - who often has to clean the mess. Once again, my sheer laziness almost excludes me from tidying my own puddle of wee.

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On a more serious note, my lazy manner has had a few genuine consequences. Throughout primary school, my languid approach was of a great concern to my teachers. I was forced into one-on-one tuition. I was tested on numerous occasions for dyslexia. My parents were even contacted about my welfare at home. Everyone assumed there was something wrong with me, just because I didn’t come across as impressive as my peers. Actually, I just didn’t care. On leaving primary school, to all my teachers’ bewilderment, I passed the entry-test to a prestigious grammar school. However, my leisurely attitude was ...

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