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A Wee Story of My Life (reflective essay)

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Introduction

´╗┐The Wee Story of my Life I have always struggled to pee accurately in my own home. It?s not a complete inability; I don?t stroll into bathrooms in beautiful restaurants and urinate all over the tiles; nor do I have a bladder control problem. No, the sad reality is, I am perfectly able to pee accurately in my own home, I just see it as something I?d rather not do. So, for reasons unknown, when I?m done with my pee, pools of ugly urine are left staring up at me from the toilet seat. Unfortunately for me, there is no better metaphor to describe my life. In a family of very high achievers ? my mother with a PhD and my father a former international Irish rugby player, even my younger brother well on the way to representing Scotland at the same sport ? an accurate assumption could be that I too would be a chap of high attainment. I am not. You see, if something takes effort to achieve, I will almost certainly steer clear of it. Because of my extreme dislike for hard labour, or soft labour for that matter, I rarely achieve anything greater than mediocrity. ...read more.

Middle

Meanwhile, I might end up working in a dull call centre in Dundee, answering telephone calls from angry old men from the highlands, complaining that their ?TV isnae working!? Of course everyone would be more interested in him, but that can only be a good thing. If we were both high-achievers ? if I were in a popular band ? it would be impossible for those conversing with my family to not feel envious. ?A rugby player and a musician in one family, how lucky their parents are,? they may think. This way, not only do I prevent the jealousy of other families, I highlight the achievements of my brother and keep my family in touch with the ordinary everyday existence. This constant state of mediocrity has had one ?negative? effect on me, though: I have become a compulsive liar. Now before you reel back in shock and horror, let me explain: I am not a liar in the vindictive sense. I?d never tell a lie that could hurt someone, or even tell a lie that could affect someone. When I lie, it?s about the most irrelevant things one could conjure up. Since I was about 11 years old, I have claimed with absolute sincerity that a scar on my left arm was from when my cat bit me as I was bathing in the bubble bath. ...read more.

Conclusion

Now when I think about it, it?s pretty clear why they were concerned about my home life? But anyway, in my opinion, warm memories are not created by being normal. If I was a more logical child, I would have walked to school on the pavement every morning and be unable to chuckle every time I recall on incidents like that. I am glad my mind works in a different way. When I contemplate it all, I think society as a whole should be glad for chaps like me. If everyone worked hard and became a genius, the word ?genius? would be redundant as everyone would be of the same ability. Furthermore, if that were the case, geniuses would stop trying to gain prestige and therefore become average again; meaning the intelligence of the world would be thrown into chaos. Basically, your average Joe like me is saving the world from an IQ disaster. We are accidentally preserving the intelligence of the world and I for one am proud of being mediocre. So yes, unfortunately for my mother, I am afraid I am going to continue peeing on the toilet seat; I am going to continue living an idle lifestyle; I am going to continue being mediocre. This way of life to which I have grown accustomed is treating me well. I get out what I put into society, and that seems fair. Word Count: 1298 ...read more.

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