Anything you say may be used against you

  The next big step is adolescence.  That’s when a whole new language naturally invades our body, soul, and mind.  It is the international language of looove.  That’s when we’ve stopped sucking on our mom’s nipples, now that she is fat and unattractive after 3 or 4 pregnancies, and start looking for new nipples.  In the early stages, we start flirting with and courting the opposite sex (or with the same sex, whichever suits you.  Gay activists, calm down please), and forget every single word in the dictionary in the process.  Words are not that important when you hit on some blonde bimbo, since the odds are that she doesn’t know any more words than you can remember anyway, so you’d be on the same level, but more often than not, knowing what to say is they key to hitting a homerun.  You know what I’m saying? (Very clever reference to our topic, right there...)  You need to make the girl laugh, and I think that’s really all that matters at that age.  A sense of humour is your arsenal’s most accurate weapon, in the hunt for human flesh.  If you can make a girl laugh, the deal is in the bag.  Of course, for others, if you can talk about history, and literature, and classical music, you’re even more interesting.  But that’s when the art of smooth-talking comes into play.  All you need to do is listen attentively to what she has to say, slip in a few witty remarks, nod, and let her do the talking.  We all know how much girls like to talk.

  Then comes the adult life.  At this point, you’re on your way to becoming a master at talking your way through any situation; bullshitting, to be more precise.  Let’s face it, b.s. is, without a doubt one, of the most important part of your communication skills.  You will talk a load of crap during your lifetime, and there’s no denying that.  At work, you will suck up to your boss to get a pay raise or a job promotion.  If you try to set up your own company, you will make numerous promises and guarantees to potential investors.  Will half of those entrepreneurs keep these promises?  Of course not.  Most of them will either end up in jail, have their lawyers talk them out of jail, or take the money and run under the sun.  In the Cayman Islands, there’s not much talking needed.  Whichever language they speak there, I’m sure you can find a few women there who understand what cha-ching! means.  Money talks, and that’s really all you need sometimes.

  Then there’s the marriage thing.  Communication in a couple is a prerequisite to a successful marriage.  Ask any psychologist and he’ll gladly tell you so, with a big smile on its face.  However, as much as we, men, are blamed for our dishonesty, it’s usually the wife who starts off on the wrong foot, turning the tables around, and talking her way around to making kids.  It’s normal, you love her, you’ll do that for her.  Then, after a few years and a couple of pregnancies, she starts asking you if her butt’s too big.  You’re never too sure what to say when that question comes up.  This is the perfect example of when you shouldn’t say anything. I think every guy knows that.  Sometimes, what you don’t say is more important than what you say.  You should just keep your mouth shut, look straight ahead, pretend as if you didn’t hear her, and slyly change subjects as quickly as possible, because every word you utter, every facial expression you make, could be used against you.  

  Dishonesty in women also manifests itself in the bedroom, whereas a man’s sense of honesty truly comes out in the sack.  While a man will express his discontentment without any sort of hesitation, women will fake the orgasm.  Case in point.      

  Words are powerful.  The people who master the art of speaking, mostly, are usually successful in whatever they do, whether it is with noble goals or not.  Language is also your identity, your image.  The words you use, the words you write, determine who you are, and how people will perceive you.  However, words can also be blinding, and hide your true self.  Taking someone to the letter of the word can also be misleading.   More concretely, if you take what I’ve written, up until now, you could very well jump to conclusions as to what kind of person I am, or you could read between the lines and see, up to a certain degree, who I truly am.  What you choose to say leaves you out in open and you will be judged accordingly.  Words make you powerless.