• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

English - Commentary

Extracts from this document...


The Commentary The purpose of 'The Strand' is to inform the reader about my chosen destination of Trebarwith Strand, and to show how you do not need to travel far or overseas for an ideal holiday location. It has to get the reader interested by helping them see what I'm writing about. The reader could be anyone looking for a holiday, possibly in England for a quiet break, such as hikers, surfers, families and couples. This type of writing is suitable for a magazine or guidebook, with the themes of geography and activities in the area which inform the reader. For the opening paragraph I wrote from the first person to document my journey to Trebarwith. The compound-complex sentence I used to do this was intended to show that it is a long journey by foot, there's a lot to take in. "Just two and a half miles from Delabole, my hometown, along the winding country lanes, across fields and footpaths I arrive at my haven, Trebarwith Strand." The punctuation breaks up the sentence to show the stages of the journey. Nothing is mentioned about the Trebarwith itself though until the second paragraph. This was to encourage the reader to read on through the piece. In the second paragraph it's a brief description of Trebarwith mentioning the geographical aspects of the beach "Trebarwith Strand is located on the North Coast of Cornwall and is part of one of the most beautiful stretches of coastline in South West England. ...read more.


in action up to the beginnings of World War II" sheds a positive light and also gives the tourist information to take when they visit. I could easily imagine a family walking past the quarry and the Dad saying how it was "in action up to the beginnings of World War II" in pursuit of grabbing his children's attention. For food and drink I felt that it was not important to go on about each restaurant and caf´┐Ż like other travel guides or magazines would. I thought that it was better to focus on the "Mill House" as this was where I worked and after knowing the area for quite some time I knew that this was one of the best places that tourists, and not forgetting locals, liked to visit. To encourage them to visit the Mill preferably over the others I tried to paint the picture of how beautiful it is "...Mill house set in the wooded valley, offers tranquil, relaxing surroundings and has a great range of food including fresh seafood caught just off Trebarwith". This compound-complex sentence worked like a summary of the Mill in order to sell it to the reader. When closing the paragraph I said how in Tintagel there was "a variety of restaurants and pubs" but purposely didn't go into detail for I felt it suggested that there was nothing special there keeping the Mill in the readers mind as a good restaurant. ...read more.


"...set in the wooded valley, offers tranquil, relaxing surroundings" that I thought sounded quite surreal and mystical, which some people would say Cornwall is. The detailed information is left until the end to ensure the reader's interest is not lost, but to reinstate that it is travel writing and to offer extra information for those who wish to use it. Wherever there was additional information I used a * to highlight it. Overall I think that keeping the writing quite simple makes it more effective in keeping the reader interested and feeding them the information. For example this asyndetic list "The vast cliffs, impressive rockfall, caves, coves and the picturesque Gull rock sitting offshore" describes the whole coastline in one sentence, whereas I could have easily described it all in a long paragraph and just gone on which would have become boring. One last point that can interest the reader is how it is written from a local's point of view who knows the area well. It isn't written by some holiday guide, who goes to a place to see what it is like for a week and then leaves. From a local's perspective what you are getting is genuine and true, and they have built up knowledge of the area over years so you get to know a lot more than you would expect from a typical guide. ?? ?? ?? ?? Ben Swain Page 1 of 3 ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our AS and A Level Composition section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related AS and A Level Composition essays

  1. Short story 'A Little of What Was Deserved' with attached commentary

    "Better that way than the fat way." The chime rang in her head. She believed he was right. However, this rule did not apply to him and did not stop him demanding fry-ups for breakfast and consuming more grams of fat than an average household would in a day.

  2. The Worst Possible Place to Be. The scene is in a school with ...

    I-it was you. SEAN WHAT? Don't talk rubbish. JOHN Well, you do have a reputation, don't you? You kill my mum but you don't get all the money you need. So you befriend me, come into my house, take my money and then, well I don't know.

  1. Taste of thailand has the cure for flu and the cure for boring food

    It was delicious. I was back for lunch on Tuesday and joined the people waiting on the sidewalk out front, craning their necks to see inside, wondering how long it might be before they could eat. I was finally seated at a back corner table, where - in imitation of

  2. The Bridge of San Luis Rey Commentary

    Wilder further uses personification to emphasize Dona Maria's ultimate understanding of the significance of life, as the Condesa's "eyes ransacked her heart" (41). Dona Maria at last scrutinizes and carefully inspects the meaningfulness of her life through a set of flashbacks, only to discover that she lacked bravery in all that she did.

  1. English short story.

    "You know I hate horror movies!" she growled but was ignored, for Polina let out a scream at the same time. Rolling her eyes, Cassie, decided that it was best to escape those shaken girls by using the excuse to go to the bathroom.

  2. Writing to inform

    You can't drive a scooter any faster than a 50cc until you are 17. Insurance. Just because you've passed your CBT still doesn't mean you can ride your scooter unless you have insurance, and that it has a valid MOT.

  1. Insanity of War

    Conversations similar to this occur a dozens of times throughout Catch-22. Another example of Heller portraying insanity occurs when the IBM machine in control of the military ranking system gains a sense of humor. After only four days of enlistment, Private Major Major Major, one of Heller's more awkward characters, becomes Major Major Major Major (Heller).

  2. Witness 1985 Short Story. Composition and commentary.

    Luckily, without his Book around, Carter was busy with both of their cases, giving Schaefer only a couple of brief opportunities to interrogate him. Each time Carter had played dumb, Book had up and ran without telling him anything. Three nights after receiving the call from Book, Carter was called out for duty.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work