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English - Commentary

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Introduction

The Commentary The purpose of 'The Strand' is to inform the reader about my chosen destination of Trebarwith Strand, and to show how you do not need to travel far or overseas for an ideal holiday location. It has to get the reader interested by helping them see what I'm writing about. The reader could be anyone looking for a holiday, possibly in England for a quiet break, such as hikers, surfers, families and couples. This type of writing is suitable for a magazine or guidebook, with the themes of geography and activities in the area which inform the reader. For the opening paragraph I wrote from the first person to document my journey to Trebarwith. The compound-complex sentence I used to do this was intended to show that it is a long journey by foot, there's a lot to take in. "Just two and a half miles from Delabole, my hometown, along the winding country lanes, across fields and footpaths I arrive at my haven, Trebarwith Strand." The punctuation breaks up the sentence to show the stages of the journey. Nothing is mentioned about the Trebarwith itself though until the second paragraph. This was to encourage the reader to read on through the piece. In the second paragraph it's a brief description of Trebarwith mentioning the geographical aspects of the beach "Trebarwith Strand is located on the North Coast of Cornwall and is part of one of the most beautiful stretches of coastline in South West England. ...read more.

Middle

in action up to the beginnings of World War II" sheds a positive light and also gives the tourist information to take when they visit. I could easily imagine a family walking past the quarry and the Dad saying how it was "in action up to the beginnings of World War II" in pursuit of grabbing his children's attention. For food and drink I felt that it was not important to go on about each restaurant and caf´┐Ż like other travel guides or magazines would. I thought that it was better to focus on the "Mill House" as this was where I worked and after knowing the area for quite some time I knew that this was one of the best places that tourists, and not forgetting locals, liked to visit. To encourage them to visit the Mill preferably over the others I tried to paint the picture of how beautiful it is "...Mill house set in the wooded valley, offers tranquil, relaxing surroundings and has a great range of food including fresh seafood caught just off Trebarwith". This compound-complex sentence worked like a summary of the Mill in order to sell it to the reader. When closing the paragraph I said how in Tintagel there was "a variety of restaurants and pubs" but purposely didn't go into detail for I felt it suggested that there was nothing special there keeping the Mill in the readers mind as a good restaurant. ...read more.

Conclusion

"...set in the wooded valley, offers tranquil, relaxing surroundings" that I thought sounded quite surreal and mystical, which some people would say Cornwall is. The detailed information is left until the end to ensure the reader's interest is not lost, but to reinstate that it is travel writing and to offer extra information for those who wish to use it. Wherever there was additional information I used a * to highlight it. Overall I think that keeping the writing quite simple makes it more effective in keeping the reader interested and feeding them the information. For example this asyndetic list "The vast cliffs, impressive rockfall, caves, coves and the picturesque Gull rock sitting offshore" describes the whole coastline in one sentence, whereas I could have easily described it all in a long paragraph and just gone on which would have become boring. One last point that can interest the reader is how it is written from a local's point of view who knows the area well. It isn't written by some holiday guide, who goes to a place to see what it is like for a week and then leaves. From a local's perspective what you are getting is genuine and true, and they have built up knowledge of the area over years so you get to know a lot more than you would expect from a typical guide. ?? ?? ?? ?? Ben Swain Page 1 of 3 ...read more.

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