This is very different to the way Romeo and Juliet view sex. For them it was part of love, not something to be taken lightly. They used sex to consummate their marriage.
Courtly love is an idealised version of love, it is an admiration of someone and building that admiration into something it isn’t. It is the ‘love’ Romeo feels for Rosaline, and the ‘love’ Paris feels for Juliet. Romeo never meets Rosaline, yet he believes to be in love with her. He carves her name into trees and stone, and mopes around writing love poetry. Yet when he meets Juliet, he forgets all about Rosaline. Rosaline is aware of Romeos ‘feelings’ towards her and spurns his advances, yet Romeo takes this rejection as encouragement and continues to attempt to woo her. These are strong features of courtly love.
Paris treats his ‘love’ in a different manner, but the same features are there. He goes to meet Lord Capulet and arranges to marry Juliet, although he has never met her. Paris knows Juliet does not wish to marry him, yet this only makes him more determined to marry her as he sees Juliet as a prize, to show his superiority over everyone else.
In today’s society, we would view Lord Capulet as a cold, unfeeling father because of the way he treats his daughter, but Lord Capulet is a prime example of Shakespearian fathers. His only wish is to make a good marriage for his daughter, but she rejects his help. Capulet doesn’t know Juliet has fallen for Romeo and so cannot be expected to understand why she doesn’t wish to marry Paris. Lord and Lady Capulet had an arranged marriage and never had the chance to fall in love so cannot see the disadvantages to an arranged marriage.
Capulet doesn’t have much love for Juliet, he views her as his property and expects her to comply with his rules, so when she doesn’t, he flies of the handle and abuses her. Her mother is just as bad and always sides with her father, the way a wife was supposed to. Juliet spends all her time either alone or with her nurse and never receives praise from her family. This lack of family love manifests itself in Juliet’s love for Romeo. She has never experienced love, so what she says and does are all sincere and innocent.
Romeo and Juliet’s love is pure and straight from the heart. They fall in love at first sight and over come all barriers to be together. Shakespeare has set the play in a very short time span which represents the mad rush of their love. Romeo and Juliet don’t have time to get to know each other before getting married, they both understand why they have to be married quickly and secretly, so have to trust their first instincts. The moment they see each other there is a flicker of understanding, they both understand what they other is feeling and don’t try to hide their own feelings, even if they could.
At the masked ball, Shakespeare has given them a sonnet to speak. They speak the sonnet together, creating a tension. In the sonnet, Shakespeare has used a lot of religious imagery to convey that their love isn’t normal love, there is something special about it. From the moment you hear “holy shrine” you are aware that their love is heavenly and God himself has helped it come about. Romeo compares his lips to “two blushing pilgrims”, indicating that he believes Juliet to be godly, and deserves to be worshipped.
In the famous balcony scene, Romeo denies his name because it is an enemy of Juliet’s. By distancing himself from his family Romeo is promising to stand by Juliet, no matter what. When Romeo speaks of his “life were better ended by their hate” he is declaring his love for Juliet, and saying that he would rather be dead than living without Juliet’s love. Unwittingly, Romeo is anticipating the outcome of the play, just like the chorus prophesises that the ending will not be a happy one.
The different types of love help us understand the relationship between Romeo and Juliet by showing us the background they came from, and what they were expected to be doing and talking about. By understanding this we can better relate to why they preferred to die for their love than deny it. We now understand better what they were up against and why it was so difficult for them to admit to the world that they were in love.
