Another attribute that seems to be more highly valued in males is to be “hardworking”. Over 30% of males in my sample advertised themselves as being hard workers, and over 20% of females said this was something they wanted in a partner. No men said this was something they looked for in women, and no women wrote that is was a characteristic they possessed. This could be connected to the focus on financial stability in males found in previous studies of lonely hearts advertisements, and to a certain extent in my investigation. An individual who is hardworking is more likely also to provide financial stability.
Being sociable, friendly and fun appears to be seen as more important in females than males. Nearly 80% of women in the sample specify they have these attributes, and over 40% of men state they look for them in a partner. In comparison just over 20% of men say they are sociable, friendly and/or fun, and only about 10% of women say these are qualities they want in a partner.
Four times as many females than males say that they want their partner to be caring, sensitive, kind or considerate. More males state that they have these characteristics on their profiles, possibly because they recognize they are desired in a partner by many women.
Girls and Boys or Women and Men?
Sexist language is language that reinforces and perpetuates gender stereotypes and inequalities between men and women. It is an example of subtle sexism, which means that is not recognised as sexist by many people as they see it as normative, and that the author/speaker does not necessarily want to be, or believe they are being sexist [5]. J.S Hyde suggested sexist language is learnt at an early age [6], and Lips argues that it can be considered a linguistic habit. I am interested to discover whether dating website profiles contain examples of sexist language, and if so whether this is more common in the profiles of one particular gender.
One common example of sexism in language is the fairly common use of diminutive words such as “girl” to describe adult females, with the equivalent terms like “boy” or “lad” being used far less frequently to describe adult males, and generally in a narrower range of specific situations. For example female TV presenters, even those well into their 30s and 40s, are regularly described as “girls” whilst their male peers would never be described using a similar diminutive. Below is a tally of the number of times the words “girl” and “boy” (or similar) were used by on the profiles of males and females to describe both themselves and others.
As the diagram shows the term “girl” to describe adult women is used far more frequently in my sample of profiles than the term “boy” to describe adult men, and is used equally by men and women. Both of the profiles where women refer to themselves as girls belong to individuals in the 40-49yrs age category, and one of the examples of profiles where the word is utilised by a male belongs to a man in the same category, in reference to his ex-wife of a similar age. It is unlikely that if questioned any of these three people would consider their use of the term sexist, and it is possible the women may believe being seen as a “girl” rather than a “woman” or “lady” (terms used by others in the sample), as a positive thing, because of the value placed on youthfulness in our society. One of the women refers to her “young outlook on life” in her profile. Profiles on dating websites are designed to attract potential partners, and these women presumably think that implying youthfulness could gain them more success.
Seeming and looking young is considered particularly positive for women, and women are regularly lampooned in gossip magazines for looking “old” or “past it”. As well as being ageist, this in itself could also be seen as sexist as the perceived worth of women is being seen as being based largely on superficial traits and appearance, whilst the more fundamental aspects of character that do not change or even improve with age, like wisdom, are considered more important in males. However the western cultural obsession with youth is not exclusively a female issue, and the 48yr old male who referred to his ex wife as a “girl” in his profile also finds it necessary to state “I look very young for my years” as a positive thing.
The other example of a male using the word “girls” to describe women is on the same profile as the only example of the use of the word “boy” to describe a man. The individual in question is 25yrs old, and it seems more likely that rather than being an example of sexist language, the terms are instead a reference to the perceived immaturity by the author of himself and other people his age in general.
Conclusion
My findings suggest that there are differences in the language used in internet dating profiles based on gender, both in the semantic choices made, and how individuals of each gender represent themselves. The differences between how individuals of each gender represent themselves, and also the characteristics they specify they would like in a partner, suggest that different traits are seen as socially desirable for males and females.
In Language and a Woman’s Place (1975) Lakoff makes several assumptions about gender differences in language use. I chose two of these to investigate whether the difference was noticeable in the profiles in my sample. The data showed a gender difference in the use of hedges as Lakoff hypothesised, but not in the use of empty adjectives, or adjectives in general. It was predicted at the time Lakoff made her assumptions that as women and men became more equal, the gender differences would become less apparent. This could be the reason my data shows no notable difference in the use of empty adjectives.
Past research into lonely hearts advertisements has found that males tended to advertise their financial security and ask for attractiveness in partners, whilst women did the opposite. In my study I found there to be no clear gender difference in desirability of physical attractiveness. This could be due to the fact society is more gender equal than in the 1970s and 1980s when the majority of research into lonely hearts advertisements was conducted. However, the gender difference in the requesting and advertising of financial stability suggests that beliefs that the male should be the primary provider in a relationship still remain.
I also found there to be a gender difference in the amount of profiles asking for and advertising various personality traits. Men for example were more likely to describe themselves as funny, and women were far more likely to ask for this in a partner.
Finally, I found a gender difference in the use of diminutive terms used to refer to men and women, specifically the words “boy” and “girl”. Within my sample the word boy was only used once, by a young male in his 20s to refer to himself, but the world “girl” was used five times, by both men and women, in four cases to refer to women over the age of 40.
References
- Bucholtz, Mary, & Lakoff, Robin Tolmach (1975). Language and Woman’s Place: Text and Commentaries, Harper & Row.
- Kramner (1973), Cheryl, Actual and Percieved Sex-Linked Differences in Adverb and Adjective Usage. Linguistic Society of America
- Cameron, C., Oskamp, S, & Sparks, W (1977). Courtship American style: Newspaper ads. The Family Coordinator.
- Smith, J., Waldorf, V., & Trembath, D. (1990). Single white male looking for very attractive..., Sex Roles: A Journal of Research.
- Swim, J.K, Mallett, R, & Stangor, C(2004) Understanding Subtle Sexism: Detection and Use of Sexist Language, Sex Roles: A Journal of Research.
- Hyde, J.S (1984). Children’s Understanding of Sexist Language, Developmental Psychology.
Appendix 1
ali2484
new to the area new to online dating!!!
22-year-old man
Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
seeking women 18-24
within 30 miles of Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
being a sporty person, my main pursuits include, running and rugby. I enjoy going to the gym with mates. The odd DVD night is fun occasionaly but prefer being out and about. Enjoy a bit of tennis in the summer.
my job:
PE teacher in Secondary school
my education:
BA Hons with QTS
favorite hot spots:
My favourite holiday destination is Italy, particuallarly Rome, love the weather and the food. I enjoy going out clubbing with mates.
favorite things:
I love all italian food. I enjoy the usual soaps, Scrubs, friends etc. Like the Dan Brown books, when i get time to read. Am pretty easy going on the the music front, like most things.
last read:
My housemates closermagazine!!! was the only thing in the toilet. As said before i like Dan Brown, and i have also just finished reading Jeremy Clasrkson.
About my life and what I'm looking for
Am new to the area, so dont know too many people round here, so to meet some new people would be fun. Not looking for anything too serious initially, just take it as it comes. A good sense of humour and adventure is always good. Due to me being into PE you would have to be active and into sporting activities. Willing to be spontaneous is always good. In a nutshell, am easy going fun, will always try new things (eg this!!)
Appendix 2
BrightonBetty
Looking for something, nothing and everything!
21-year-old woman
Hove, East Sussex, United Kingdom
seeking men 25-35
within 100 miles of Hove, East Sussex, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
I quite like to have fun for fun. Go out to the cinema, discover new restaurants or bars/pubs, travel, spend lots of time with friends. All sorts of things that make me feel good.
my education:
BA in Business Studies. Getting there :-)
favorite things:
Italian food, night time, seaside, white chocolate, Sex and the City, music that touches your soul :-)
last read:
Mikhail Bulgakov - Master and Margarita
About my life and what I'm looking for
I prefer people hating me for what I am rather than loving me for what I'm not. Not that there's anything about me that anyone could hate, haha. And no, I am not arrogant at all. Just absolutely adorable! :-)
My perfect match. Would be someone with a couple of imperfections. Someone who is funny, intelligent, sarcastic, cheeky - so basically just as adorable as myself! Right, I am going to stop right there. But guys who have got any of these qualities, you're still very welcome to come and say hello!
Appendix 3
HLM105
Hi,
26-year-old woman
Manchester, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
seeking men 26-30
within 20 miles of Manchester, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
socialising/drinking/bonding with friends and family. gym, swimming, dining out, cooking, holidays, erm.. watching a dvd, corrie, bellenders, emmerdale, that sort of thing!
my job:
Im a psychiatric nurse.
my ethnicity:
Im always asked if im italian or spanish due to my dark colouring. Unfortunately Im not that exciting. Just plain old english breeding!
my religion:
r/c but dont practice it.
my education:
diploma in mental health nursing. Hoping to go on and do my degree in the next couple of years or so.
favorite hot spots:
I love going on holiday and having short breaks away to far away places. Ive been to new york at christmas which was like walking out onto a film set. I'd really like to go somewhere exotic such as mauritus/mexico/bharmas somewhere like that!
favorite things:
I love all food really, apart from quiche. Its like eating cold snot. I love bright colours, Im not a beige type person. It sounds really sad, but I really like pottering around the house with the tv on or listening to music
last read:
Dan Browns... cant remember what it's called. The one where americas security is at risk due to an unbreakable code. That one
About my life and what I'm looking for
Lets see.. I would describe myself as easy going and dont like to argue with people, but on the other hand, Im not a push over and will speak out if I do not agree with something. People comment that Im a smiley person and that Im very approachable in work. I always look out for my friends and family.
I would say that I can be a little wild on nights out, especially if theres been a lot of stress at work. However I also enjoy going to a friends house for a brew and a chinwag.
My ideal bloke would have to have a cracking sense of humour. Someone who can take the mick out of me, but also take the mick out of himself too. My bloke would have to be a bit macho, Im not really into pretty boys. Someone who can appreciate it when Ive dressed up, but who doesnt screw their nose up when Im in my scruffs round the house. I'd like my bloke to be affectionate, but not over the top. I like to have my own space on ocassion so couldnt cope with someone who was intense.
Appendix 4
Jimmisav01
If I was you, I would have a look...
25-year-old man
Feltham, Middlesex, United Kingdom
seeking women 23-29
within 14 miles of London - West, Greater London, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
I love all the normal things; cinema, music, books, cooking and playing sport. I try to keep active playing cricket and football and also love to run on Sunday mornings. I have gotten more and more into cooking, but I'm not Gordon Ramsey just yet
my job:
I work for a corporate communications agency and work over a range of clients. There is no overtime in PR, so we are expected to stay until the job is done, which really isn't a problem for me. I'd rather do a good job than a quick job
my ethnicity:
I am the son of two Irish folk who moved over here in the 60s. I have always lived in the UK but have a very special relationship with Ireland.
my religion:
Yes, but have lapsed...big time.
my education:
I took a degree in Politics. I work in PR, so it was good to know how to lie before I got into the industry...
favorite hot spots:
I love going to Irealnd to relax in the countryside.
favorite things:
I really enjoy eating out - there's something special about having a top notch dinner being made for you. I'm a West London boy, so as much as possible, I like spending time in Richmond, particularly Richmond park.
last read:
I read pretty much every daily newspaper, so alas, it doesn't leave a lot of time for novels - more's the pity
About my life and what I'm looking for
I have been told that I am quite funny, at least I hope I'm funny, otherwise all those people are just laughing at me... I like to work hard and then realy savour my spare time doing the things I like doing: spending time with friends and family, playing sport and eating out. My perfect match would have to be of a similar character and would need to be able to hold their own in a conversation as I quite like a good chat.
Appendix 5
scottiejen
Looking for someone to have a laugh with!
24-year-old woman
London - North, Greater London, United Kingdom
seeking men 24-35
within 25 miles of London - North, Greater London, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
I like to go out and socialise with friends. travel, relax with a glass of wine, see new stuff, I like to be busy doing things I havent done before!
favorite hot spots:
I love shoreditch, the markets, bars and restaurants. I am a city girl who grew up in the country!
favorite things:
when it rains cooking for friends. when the sunshines pimms and a bbq. I have bad taste in TV so anything american and trashy goes! I like to read but dont get enough time. I love to travel and spend a lot of time planning where want to go next.
last read:
OK magazine!
About my life and what I'm looking for
I am easy going and easy to get on with I love to laugh, somebody once told me to 'try everything in life except morris dancing and incest' I think that is a pretty good rule for life. I am looking for someone who is like minded, who wants to go out and have some fun. I am not looking to delve straight into a heavy serious relationship but who knows what may happen!
Appendix 6
tafka249
Kinda tall, sorta dark, and I'll leave the handsome bit up to you...
25-year-old man
Stalybridge, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
seeking women 20-30
within 30 miles of Stalybridge, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
I'm ridiculously addicted to my guitars and video games. What can I say? I'm a big kid at heart but I know when to be grown up, lol ;-) Recently I've gotten into running and would love to do some charity runs since I've always admired those that do.
my job:
PC technician and also work part-time for my families pub. I also study in between all of that, but make sure to keep enough space in my schedule for the nicer things in life.
my religion:
I used to be quite religious (christian) but I'm not sure what to think these days.
my education:
The moment I was asked to dress like Freddie Mercury for my coursework I knew my student days were over :(
Now I study from home instead whilst working and it's damn hard!
favorite hot spots:
I like a good sunset and beach, I don't care where it is so long as I get it, lol. I love nice views and scenery (mountains, stars, countryside, anything atmospheric.) I've always fancied going to Japan but haven't gotten around to it just yet.
favorite things:
Foods: Indian, traditional english, MEAT, subway!
Colour: Blue
TV: My name is Earl (my sister calls me Earl because I'm into Karma)
Film: Rocky (cheese, but good cheese)
Clothes: River Island
Things I don't like: football, wasted people, chavs
last read:
Geeky computer stuff in that hopes that one day it'll pay off and I'll own a house that's big enough to fit a full-size snooker table in it :op
lol. It's an A all in one study book, next book will be Network related.
About my life and what I'm looking for
Ok, I felt the need to rewrite my profile here because I'm not sure that I'll be renewing my subscription that runs out in a couple of weeks and I don't think I did myself justice with the old one (UPDATE: I *did* update my subscription. What can I say? I'm a sucker for reading profiles that say "I love going out, but equally happy with a DVD and a takeaway." Which is a bloody good job really because that's what most of the profiles here say!) Plenty of people loved it and kindly sent me nice e-mails which was great, but really I'm not here to do a stand-up comedy routine on the flaws of internet dating, I am (suprise suprise) actually looking for someone special...
I originally came here because I'm not really into nightclubs and that kind of thing, it's just not my scene. However.. nice meals, walks, country pubs, etc. *are* my scene. I do like a few beers but I'm not into getting wasted and would prefer the same in a woman, so someone sober-ish would be nice. I'm not into football either, so I'm a perculiar breed in that respect! I've been single for a while now and though it has done me good to prioritise my life, it's also been a great reflection on what I need from a partner. Like a lot of people on here, I'm not here out of necessity, but because I think I'll have a heck of a better chance of meeting the right girl for me this way. I do get attention, that isn't the issue, but it's usually the wrong kind. If I wanted to stick a trophey-girl on my arm, sure I could do that (please don't think I'm being big-headed, tons of guys can do it if they really wanted, most my age actually do) but would I want that? No, it's not me and it's not what I'm looking for.
I'm a good guy with a heart of gold and I'm looking for the same in a woman, which seems to be far easier said than done! Yeah, I have my flaws and no I'm not perfect, but... I am for somebody. I'm a confident guy, but with a sensitive soul deep down and would love to meet someone that nutured that... in return they get treated like a princess, simple really! I don't care if you stack shelves or if you've got a successful career, so long as you're happy doing it. I've had my fill of women that lie or want everything their way, so if you want a good man that'll go the extra mile for you and you're a good woman that'd do the same then please feel free to get in touch.
(...and please excuse the stupid face I'm pulling in the photo with my guitar, long story!)
P.S. The kids in the photos are my nephews, I don't have kids but I love them as if they *were* my kids :)
P.P.S. If you message I'll always answer back (sooner rather than later.) I've noticed on a few profiles people saying "If I don't reply it means I'm not interested." Well... how rude is that? I think that if you've gone out of your way to say hello that the least I can do is show you the courtesy of a reply.
Appendix 7
DaftAdventures
Some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue
45-year-old man
Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom
seeking women 36-46
within 40 miles of Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom
In my own words
my job:
I create, I nurture, I support
I discover and invent.
What am I?
favorite hot spots:
I'd choose Northumberland, The Isle of Man, or Scotland for a weekend away and anywhere there is ocean for diving.
favorite things:
A cool breeze, fresh healthy food, cooking, clever comedy, playing guitar, real coffee, clean sheets, warm towels, homemade bread. Not much TV but Billy Connolly, Coast, QI, and Scrubs.
last read:
America Unchained - Dave Gorman
About my life and what I'm looking for
Are you under 47, positive about life, honest, sexy and fun? If you're looking to spend time with an interesting decent guy then read on…
I'm quietly confident, complex, passionate and truthful, so to match you'll be smart, witty and sensitive. You’ll agree that truth and laughter are essential. You’ll appreciate someone who is easy going, intelligent, and articulate. I don't drink much but always have fun without it. I’m busy at work a lot, but not being chained to the office gives me quite a flexible lifestyle. I love my life. I love what I do. I love making the most out of opportunities
I love to go scuba diving. This last year I've been swimming with wild dolphins, diving with hammerhead sharks and manta rays. I’ve also had great fun playing with wild seals.
I have a pretty good sense of humour, and I know the very best way to meet a hot guy on match.com. If you want to learn the secret, or if you think we might click, send me a message.
Appendix 8
bobit1238
not so desperate housewife
44-year-old woman
Swadlincote, Derbyshire, United Kingdom
seeking men 40-48
within 20 miles of Swadlincote, Derbyshire, United Kingdom
In my own words
favorite hot spots:
i like to travel, i love to see different places, both in this country and abroad.
favorite things:
socializing, love to cook, love animals and countryside and to have a laugh.
last read:
tv magazine !!!
About my life and what I'm looking for
Myself- I am easy going, I am at the age where I want to enjoy my life and have some fun. I am very caring, loving and loyal. I love to socialize and meet new people. I am at the point in my life after spending a number of years as a single mum that when it comes to relationships I don’t want to be messed about. I want someone to share the rest of my life with, someone to experience new things with. Kind, considerate and caring. I have been out of the dating game along time. I don’t want to leave it any longer I want to find my soul mate.
I suppose on the out side I’m not the most beautiful one of the bunch but inside I am the whole package.
My perfect partner- Someone with a good sense of humour, someone who is interesting and fun to be with, someone who is trustworthy and loyal. Who has grown out of playing stupid games and is looking for a genuine and long lasting relationship. Someone who does an honest days work for and honest days pay.
I WANT MY SOUL MATE!!!
Appendix 9
chehsire_lady1
time to join the 21st century and try internet dating...
47-year-old woman
Lymm, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
seeking men 40-55
within 50 miles of Lymm, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
likes dancing, cinema, theatre, socialising with friends in retsaurants and bars, football, travelling, music (mainly r&b, chill, jazz fusion), fashion, interior design, and best of all my family.
my ethnicity:
Born in South Liverpool, later lived in Connecticut and New York where my first child was born. Lived in Manchester(Cholrton) where other two children where born, moved ot Cheshire 15yrs ago.
favorite hot spots:
Love restaurants and wine bars, but also my kitchen as i love to cook. i love travel and different culures. Lots of favourite destinations, Portugal, greece and usa best, trying Turkey soon.
favorite things:
My children and too much to type not a techno girl so typing takes forever!
last read:
Man and Boy Tony Parsons and
still reading da vinci code (hmmm..)
About my life and what I'm looking for
I recently joined Match.com but it wasn’t until I submitted my profile and logged on that I realised you men do a much better job of describing yourselves and stating what you expect form the site. By comparison my profile read like a stuffy C.V. so I thought I’d better change it, so here goes…
I am an honest, easy going, fun loving, kind, good natured, attractive mother of 3 beautiful children ( now that makes me sound much better than I did in my initial profile!). I have a very young outlook on life and always like to look on the bright side. My youngest daughter, 17, still lives with me in a lovely village in Cheshire. I have recently completed a two year advanced holistic therapies course. It was great personal development and I didn’t change into a new aged hippy.
For me, the most important qualities in a man are kindness, sincerity, a great sense of humour and an attractive, fashionable appearance. Appearances are important to me. I take pride in mine and appreciate it when others to do the same. That may sound quite shallow but I'm neither shallow nor vain, however, I did say I was honest! I love to socialise and am lucky have a great circle of friends, as well as a brilliant family. However, sometimes it would be nice to be in a restaurant and sit opposite a man who wasn’t my dad or my son for a change (lovely as they are!)
I love the sun and have travelled quite extensively, but I also love the British countryside. I enjoy keeping fit, and dancing. I don’t like technology; it took me ages to upload my photos onto my profile, only to find they don't look right if you don't use a digital camera (I was too shy to ask my daughter to help me) so i'll change them at some point.
Well, thats me...not very good at making the first move but willing to give this a try.
Appendix 10
Muffin1961
Looking Forward
46-year-old woman
Carlisle, Cumbria, United Kingdom
seeking men 38-50
within 100 miles of Carlisle, Cumbria, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
I love eating out but also nights in with a glass of wine. Love lazy Sunday mornings . I bake a lot ,very bad for the diet but scrummy though I work it off digging my allotment and i swim at least twice a week. I love my work and like to be busy.
my job:
Finance/Health and Safety Officer for a GP Practice also self employed Beauty Therapist - hate to be idle!
my education:
Private secondary education followed by college .
favorite hot spots:
My favourite place is Sanibel/Captiva Island on the Gulf coast of Florida - the sunsets are amazing.Also Islah Bella in Brazil. Amsterdam is pretty good too for a short break. New York was fun but I wouldn't dash back.
favorite things:
I'm a girlie girl and love to shop. I love shoes, especially Jimmy Choos but can do high street and usually have to! I like slightly naughty books but usually only read on holiday. I love making money to fund the little luxuries in life !
last read:
'Girl With A One Track Mind'. well I had to see what I was missing!!! 'Caught Looking' - for the same reason!
About my life and what I'm looking for
I am a petite bubbly blonde. Lively but rather shy at first. Happier with one to one rather than in a crowd - though I do love meeting and talking to new people. My 'sparkle' has been a little tarnished but nothing a little polish can't fix! my ideal man would be physically attractive , though preferably not think themselves drop dead gorgeous - personality is more imprtant as is a wicked sense of humour - normal would be good if there is such a thing!
I love to travel and that's best done with company.I'm not really into skiing as the rest of the population seem to be - though who knows, the right person might be able to persuade me to try it. I prefer a nice sunny beach holiday with lovely places to eat and drink and plenty of people around to talk to.I have visited Dubai, Brasil and USA which were wonderful but I had just as much fun in Blackpool and Amsterdam - it's the company that can make or break a vacation as well as the place itself. I like to go to the cinema or the local pub/wine bar . I swim twice a week and am learning to dance. In Summer I play tennis and usually go to Wimbledon (as a spectator not a player!).I normally live alone but at present have a Spanish lodger on a temporary basis and as we share the cooking I'm learning lots of new dishes and I haven't burnt one of them recently!. I want to be cared for but need someone strong enough not to let me get my own way all the time .I'd like to meet someone who will be a true friend first and foremost and will hopefully develop into more. IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER OR ARE MARRIED DON'T BOTHER - I'M NOT INTERESTED!
Appendix 11
odt1945
Go on give us a go.
45-year-old man
London, Greater London, United Kingdom
seeking women 30-45
in United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
I enjoy being alive ,if im, n in nice company will do anything apart from incest and folk dancing ,love cities ,love the countryside ,although only for short visits ,love motorbikes ,love pets especially dogs.
favorite hot spots:
Love travelling ,have done a lot of it ,recently went to my friends wedding in california ,where I was best man, travelled down the pacific highway on a harley davidson, have been doing my house up recently ,enjoy home life aswell.
favorite things:
love to watch films with my loved ones ,love the internet especially ebay in which i have business interests ,believe it or not enjoy reading poetry ,
last read:
last reading was the tottenham and woodgreen journal ,makes interesting but depressing reading ,oh yes also the instructions on my new electric shower and the instructions on a take curry from morrisons.
About my life and what I'm looking for
I would desribe myself as a genuine guy, kind and caring, but do not like to be messed about with to many mind games, all I want is a genuine woman who enjoys conversation, likes to meet in nice cosy pubs, enjoys weekends away, generally enjoys life and doesnt complain all the time, because life is to short, if you fit into this category I would love to meet you.I would like a nice genuine honest and straightforward woman with a good sense of fun, someone who enjoys meeting in a nice cosy pub for a chat, who enjoys going to the cinema, enjoys weekends away in the countryside, enjoys cosy nights in with a bottle of wine, is this to much to ask?
Appendix 12
powerswim
Ying seeks Yang
48-year-old man
Dalbeattie, Dumfries and Galloway (Scotland), United Kingdom
seeking women 38-48
within 1000 miles of Dalbeattie, Dumfries and Galloway (Scotland), United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
Not one for sitting around watching TV, I like to be doing something be it on a bike, in a pool, on a mountain, in a plane or on a beach! Familiar with and able to enjoy(and understand!) Shakespeare and Pirates of the Carribean, Genesis and Schubert!
my job:
Building a proto-type, compact, hyper-insulated swimming pool (see powerswim co uk and try addressing 'sales' by e mail to contact me!), with a current to swim against, to present to a market next year. Warning: this is absorbing all my money!
my ethnicity:
I do not have a Scottish accent! I was raised in Dulwich, London (went to Alleyn's), although my ancestors farmed in Galloway. Returned to my roots living in the paradaisical village of Rockcliffe. Happy to resettle anywhere with the right person.
my religion:
Don't entirely agree with organised religion/dogma(bit of a heretic). Open-minded about all faiths and seriously ponder what happens next.Believe in honesty, compassion, forgiveness, live and let live, love your neighbour, do as you would be done to, etc.
my education:
Have a degree in Land Management so know theory of Farming, lots of Law, lots of Building Construction, etc. Am very practical, a Jack of all Trades, especially plumbing, electrics, carpentry, engineering, etc, etc. Quite good with my brain too!
favorite hot spots:
Would like to go to Mount Kailash in western Tibet, and back to New Zealand, having walked most of the famous tracks there. In fact, I am planning a visit in Jan and Feb 2009.
Best and most romantic location in the world has to be the Taj Mahal!
favorite things:
Labradoodles: gorgeous, clever dogs with lovely eyes!
Food: egg and bacon.
Film: Local Hero
Music: Rachmaninov, Debussy, Strauss, Supertramp, Genesis, Coldplay, etc
last read:
I buy The Daily Telegraph on a Saturday (mostly for the Prize Crossword Puzzle).
Last book: Deepak Chopra 'The Third Jesus'
Yes, have read Da Vinci Code, I'm ashamed to say. Give me Captain Corelli or Lord of the Rings or some C.S. Lewis anytime!
About my life and what I'm looking for
I'm not so much looking for a 'perfect match' (perfect doesn't exist)but someone who is attractive in body and mind, creates a spark, is a pleasure to be with and to share life and love with. To love and be loved, to share and share alike. I have lots of love to give and lots of life left to share. Would you like some?
Read, follow and use the clues re contact/mail address in my 'job section' below: if you are clever and interested you'll work it out and find me...
I am extremely fit and am told I look very young for my years (I do NOT dye my hair!). I probably behave like a 40 year old as well. However, my Spiritual growth is way beyond my years, but I still have a lot to learn and develop.
Although brought up and still able to enjoy the pure theatre of C of E I believe in an inner God and higher spiritual planes. But I tend to keep this to myself, unless in the company of a like-minded soul also feeling their way along the path of life's journey!
Sounds a bit heavy, but if you are remotely the right person you will understand! I only recently was introduced to Kornfield and Deepak Chopra and amazed myself how much of what they say already 'fitted' or rang a bell. Rumi poems go down well with the right company too!
I am not a 'player', I am a genuine, honest, trustworthy guy looking for long-term (like life long) commitment. I was happily married for thirteen years before my ex had a Mid Life Crisis (see, girls do it too!). But I'm over that 'hump', dusted myself down and already attacking life again with a positive attitude.
I have three super kids (aged 14, 12 and 10) who come to Scotland for up to seven weeks a year, but live in Sussex the other 45 weeks!
I travelled the world as a bachelor many years ago and now, being foot-loose and fancy free again, I'm keen to get away from British winters and travel to warmer, exotic parts again, such as India (I have had tea with the King of Zanskar: most people have no idea where that is!), SE Asia, Japan, Australia and New Zealand. I am particularly attracted to and have thoroughly enjoyed Buddhist countries and culture, but remain a Christian. However I'm more interested in finding and applying the real, core message, the 'system', that Christ set. At the end of the day all religions and beliefs boil down to God-conciousness, whatever God is (Light, Essence, Source...) and thinking and doing all good and compassionate things for all beings and things. I will refrain from going deep into quantum physics here, that's deep and scary stuff. But it all 'fits' and 'works' with spiritual vibrations and energy. Little do we know. In fact we're probably not supposed to know too much, otherwise there's no room or use for trust or faith or hope. All a bit heavy, I admit, but when you can see where you've come from, where you are going and why you are here it makes life far more enjoyable, rewarding and worthwhile!
(As a post script, a friend reading this said I should mention that I can cook very well, and for up to ten people at a time!)
Appendix 13
Derek Williams
Im here dont pass me by
65-year-old man
Worcester Park, Surrey, United Kingdom
seeking women 56-67
within 50 miles of Worcester Park, Surrey, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
I enjoy going to the theatre and having a meal I have a Harley type motorcycle which I enjoy riding when the weather is fine at a nice steady pace. I love walking through a forest or along a beach.
my job:
I used to work in the Building trade, I served my apprentership as a Carpenter but graduated to Clerk of Works.so I am extremely handy around the house.
my religion:
I only visit church occasionally.
favorite hot spots:
I love going any place where the sun shines I spent a fair bit of time in Spain.I would love to go on a cruise around the West Indian Islands but not by myself. I would also like to go to Australia.
favorite things:
When its raining I like to sit in the warmth of my home with a nice glass of red. I really do like music most types, I also like dancing. I love shopping for clothes as I take pride in my appearance.
About my life and what I'm looking for
Its hard to talk about yourself bot here goes. I am a widower, my wonderful wife died 2yrs ago.and it is now time to get life going again as I do enjoy female company.I would describe myself as reasonably attractive, intelligent, young at heart, caring, honest, romantic with a good sense of humour.I have 2 children and 2 wonderful grandchildren who I adore. I am financially independant with no ties or hang ups.I play golf and walk which keeps me fit. I enjoy going out eating especially in nice country pubs. I love walking along watching the sunset whether it be along the beach or just anywhere. I love going out for a drink and a dance that is my ideal evening out.I do not like moody people as I enjoy laughter and generally like to smile
Appendix 14
emerald318
Happy lady seeks nice guy to share good times
65-year-old woman
Brentford, Middlesex, United Kingdom
seeking men 58-69
within 20 miles of Brentford, Middlesex, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
Favourite actor. Trevor Eve. Music tastes are wide and varied.love theatre movies and dining out but am also happy with a night in with good music, good company and nice bottle of wine.
favorite hot spots:
No favourite local spots as im new to the dating scene in my area.But i'm open to new experiences
favorite things:
My favourite T V programmes are Murhpys law, Silent Witness and anything with Trevor Eve in it. My favourite colour is green. My favoutite country is Ireland. I love retail therapy and will shop til i drop just about anywhere. I enjoy most food !!
last read:
I'm reading "Survivor" by Sharon Osbourne at the moment. I like Biographies But i also like reading novels For a light read i enjoy Cecelia Aherrne, Maeve Binchy and Catherine Cookson
About my life and what I'm looking for
Young at heart lady tired of living alone.would like to have the company of a male, similar age to share the good things in life. I have many interests including genealogy, computer, theatre and music.I like visiting museums, places of interest, dining out holidays home and abroad...all of which are more enjoyable when accompanied. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I look forward to hearing from you...you must be out there somewhere!
Appendix 15
Graham123237
To the lovely lady who may choose to make contact with me let me say, you will never know what could have been if you do not give me a try.
64-year-old man
London - South East, Greater London, United Kingdom
seeking women 50-65
within 150 miles of London - South East, Greater London, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
I admire style be it with people, paitings, writing.I have no favourite actor but I enjoy an eccellent thriller or mystery film. Some period films are good to watch.I enjoy opening a good bottle of red wine and watching a DVD.
my job:
I served in HMForces 1960 1968 travelled extensively returned to a civilian way of life became a civil servant and retired four years ago. and its well reccomended thats retirement not the civil service.
My main sports are Rugby, Cricket,
my religion:
I have no particular thoughts on religous orders Those who have the need for spirtual guidence then thats good for them.live and let live.
favorite hot spots:
crazy bars and wild music not for me. good coffee bars restaurant's much better.I love travelling have been to many countries. There are still a lot to see. Thailand is a beautiful place but would go anywhere with a lovely lady.
favorite things:
I like all types of food and if it looks good I will try some.If its raining at night I enjoy being in bed listening to it.TV is not a big thing in my life I have no favourite shows and cannot watch rubbish.My music is general.classical is best
last read:
my main reading is made up of the Daily Mail newspaper and Sunday's .I do like a good book my last was Wilbur Smith's ''River God'' Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks was excellent.
About my life and what I'm looking for
The difficulty with this question is to make sure you do not represent yourself as you think the reader might want to read, just say it as it is. So I think Im a truthful person that's been around done many things, served my country well during my army days Enjoy the good things in life just hoping there is lovely lady out there who would consider enjoying life with me.
Appendix 16
Olly963
Definitely not past it!
63-year-old woman
Manchester, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
seeking men 55-68
within 50 miles of Manchester, Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
For fun I enjoy being out in a crowd, either dancing or chatting, karaoke (But I don't sing) or just having a meal and a chat. Happy doing almost anything.
my job:
Recently retired and would now like to do a bit of travelling. It will be nice to stay on anywhere if I like the place instead of having to get back to work.
favorite hot spots:
Don't have a favourite place, enjoy trying places new. Like travelling, mainly where it is warm and sunny
favorite things:
Favourite types of TV shows are movies and thrillers, even sci-fi. Eating out I prefer chinese or italian, anything where you can pick from different dishes is best.
last read:
The last book I read was 'Blue Horizon' by Wilbur Smith,
About my life and what I'm looking for
I consider myself to be intelligent, hard working, genuine and totally honest with a good sense of humour. I am quite a romantic at heart - I still believe that there is someone out there who can touch my heart strings. I am looking for a long term relationship with someone who has the same ideals as myself and who is not afraid of taking a chance. I enjoy travelling and being in a warm climate holidays in the sun, sometimes lazing on the beach other times visiting local areas. I would like to find a friend/partner who can also enjoy the simple things in life, who has a good sense of humour and is loving and caring. Life is too good to be spent on your own it can be as exciting as you want it to be and I think you should not waste a moment.
I may be looking for someone who is not out there, I hope not!! I don't expect a 100% match, but 90% would be fantastic. I am not looking for a 'one night stand' but someone who is a good companion as well as a lover!
If I send an e-mail I hope that you will have the manners to reply, either a yes or a no, and I prefer to see people - photos are best!!!
Appendix 17
Smartlady562
Caring and sharing? Feisty lady would love to find a gentleman who wants to share their life with a happy, loving and loyal partner.
63-year-old woman
Ashford, Surrey, United Kingdom
seeking men 59-68
within 25 miles of Ashford, Surrey, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
Enjoy reading, 'arty' stuff, and the company of good friends. Eating out and sharing laughs with those I love. Like TV, cinema and theatre, music (all sorts),visiting stately homes, seeing the country. Love the sea.
my ethnicity:
Born in the outskirts of London and have mostly lived in the suburbs. Spent some time in the North of England. Beautiful but not home.
favorite hot spots:
Prefer small cozy coffee shops, bars and restaurants. I like the US and have always wanted to visit Oz, and to go whale spotting. Prefer heat to cold. Love France and Italy, people watching, sightseeing and chilling out in the shade.
favorite things:
Love to read, listen to music and getting together with friends. I like to shop and enjoy nice things. Togetherness/sharing is great! Enjoy crosswords and sudoku. Would love to be able to dance properly ...
last read:
Mapp and Lucia by E.F.Benson. Wonderfully funny!!! Generally read thrillers, David Baldacci and James North Patterson being favourites at the moment. Not into chick lit.
About my life and what I'm looking for
I’m a stylish ‘jeans and cashmere sweater’ kind of a lady who only wear trainers in the gym. Whilst I'm pretty good at joining up the dots, in some ways I’m quite girly too (love shoes, handbags, shopping etc.)
I love the sea and walking on the beach hand in hand. Loathe camping and hiking, but enjoy leisurely walks. Hate the cold (unless I’m well wrapped up), love the warmth. I’m a suburbanite rather than a city girl, enjoy the countryside but would hate to live miles from anywhere.
Since coming back south (I lived in the north for nearly 10 years), I’m looking forward to exploring London again, visiting the Tate, the V and A, the Natural History Museum and all the other good things on offer. I like leisurely dinners with those I love, laughing and putting the world to rights. Like everyone I guess, I enjoy people who make me laugh and who share my sense of humour (I have an acute sense of the ridiculous). Like car rides and perhaps having lunch out, or, if the weather’s good, taking a picnic. When the occasion demands it, I love dressing up for an elegant evening.
Although a perfectly adequate cook, I’m not really into it – although I could be if I was sharing my kitchen with somebody who enjoys cooking and appreciates good food.
Hate rudeness, pomposity, snobbishness and condescension.
I like the good things of life (who doesn’t?) and appreciate nice things, but I’m equally happy with fish and chips out of the paper. I’m a thinker, and read hugely - although I confess, for pleasure rather than education - and sometimes despair about the state of the world. (But who doesn’t).
I enjoy looking after my loved ones and am caring and loyal. I adore my two sons and two grandchildren.
I’m looking for somebody strong (but not controlling) who wants to share their life with me whilst being wise enough to give me the freedom I need (and perhaps reeling me in when I’ve gone too far!).
Appendix 18
tony_edward278
Not too short and not too tall..
62-year-old man
Olney, Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom
seeking women 50-65
within 50 miles of Olney, Buckinghamshire, United Kingdom
In my own words
for fun:
Horses, superbikes, skiing & flying. Theatre, cinema, concerts and nice restaraunts.
favorite hot spots:
Holiday venues preferred are the Indian Ocean and Caribbean. Like to try all & every cuisine available.
favorite things:
I prefer casual clothes, sometimes making a statement. Love London shops. Prefer eating places that as well as good food & wine, have a real atmosphere.
last read:
A long way down by Ewan McGregor
About my life and what I'm looking for
I woke up today and realised I was missing one of the most important things in life – a special woman. Will I find you in cyber space, who knows? What can I say in these few words that will let you see me!!!
I am a very down to earth and realistic person with a good sense of humour. I also like the fun side of life. I enjoy spending a social lunch or evening meal with an interesting person and the odd glass of wine. Would love to meet someone who can interact and give as well as take spontaneity
Things I don’t like doing, are, having a fantastic time, watching a beautiful sunset, being on a romantic tropical island or wining and dinning in an exotic location – that’s if I am doing these things on my own.
As a result of my physically demanding hobbies, I need to keep myself fit and train on a very regular basis. I like all the usual things people do but don’t like imposing restrictions by labelling them. I am working on the theory that the right partner will influence and raise my level of enjoyable things that much further and visa versa of course. Having worked in the Middle East and West Indies I am hooked on warm places and the outdoor life style that goes with them.
With an attractive, interesting friend, lover and equal partner I respect, I'm looking to invigorate my life. With someone active, romantic, tactile, open (100% honest), reasonably bright, a warm sharer, considerate and aware, sparky, sensible and spontaneous, looking to build a future - like me! If you are fairly local and can teach me to ballroom dance, too, that will be great! Independent, solvent and with no ties. Since I retired early I have lots of free time to invest in romance. (Ideally I'd like a non-smoking relationship.)
I believe I’m easy-going, laid back and relaxed, wanting to stay active and enthusiastic, with an appetite for life. Open to new ideas, and activities, I enjoy changes of pace and variety. Spontaneity is good, and being unconventional at times makes a nice change.
The baggage is neatly packed away, gathering dust. I retain some consistent internal values, and beliefs: that really open communication is vital, for instance. Too many agree, but lack the courage to practise it. I’m a straightforward guy as human as the next, with foibles and idiosyncrasies, looking for an opportunity for the mutual chemistry to work its magic, and to find a deep, jointly-confident relationship grows. To reciprocally want and be wanted, with the confidence and faith to trust, and the willingness to accept the implicit vulnerability. To relax together warmly and naturally, and realise “this life is good” – to both know and agree we’ve arrived at where we want to be, with one-another.
Writing this was the easy bit; the hard part now is finding that someone who I can sweep off her feet and make her feel comfortable enough to want to share her time with me, I’m sure there is someone out there who can bowl me over! They say it is better to try, and fail, than fail to try at all.
Good luck. Any Qs - just ask?