Is lord Capulet a good father?
The ideas of what makes a good father have changed somewhat since the days of Shakespeare. Then, a good father was someone who provide their daughter with as much luxury as they could afford whilst they were young and found them a good husband when they were of age. This was usually around 14-15 years old. Today however, a good father would be someone who is there when they are needed and provides well for his daughter until she is ready for the world and to make her own decisions. Lord Capulet clearly loves his daughter very much but this love is contrasted to his great temper. In my essay I am going to argue the good points of Lord Capulet as a father as well as the bad.
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Peer Reviews
Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Quality of writing
The Quality of Written Communication (QWC) is very good. There is evidence this candidate has gone to lengths in order to ensure they have not made any errors in spelling, punctuation or grammar, hence there is no cause for concern with regard to these. There is one minor typing error - "Caplulet" - but it is obvious what the candidate intended to say and so no marks are missed in QWC.
Level of analysis
The Level of Analysis is fair but quite limited. I would argue that after the introductory paragraph, the essay isn't presented in quite such a confident way; it can come across as very prescriptive and detached, with a lot of time spent simply translating Shakespearean dialogue into modern day English. Whilst it is always good to show the examiner you can understand what Shakespeare is writing, there are no marks for doing this on it's own. While there is some analysis 'bolted-on' to these translations here, it almost always relates back to the transition between Shakespearean times and modern day times. I would recommend the candidate then concentrates more on effective analysis and less on translating Shakespeare. If you can form good analysis from the texts then there is absolutely no need to so explicitly translate Shakespeare - it's a common pitfall and it often creates uncomfortable breaks in the essay analysis, which then limits the marks awarded for cohesive structure and fluid analysis.
Response to question
This is a good essay, and one that tackles a deceptively hard question because it calls into play the understanding of Shakespearean morals, so a contextual appreciation of the social and historical factors that made Lord Capulet act in such a way is imperative to score highly. This candidate identifies this clear change in the societal view of paternal duties in the very first sentence of what then becomes a very strong introduction, which nicely outlines the premise and the purpose of the essay they're about to write. Obviously, no analytical marks are awarded here, but it gives the essay direction - it makes it easier to read and the candidate will be awarded marks for being able to structure a coherent essay that reads well.