Grace French. 10N
Of Mice and Men essay
I am doing my essay on Crooks the ‘Stable buck’ who is black, ‘the nigger’. I have chosen to do Crooks as I feel he is a defined character, different to the rest so I thought it would be interesting to go into him with more detail.
He has a crooked back, hence the name Crooks, he has a crooked back as a horse kicked him when he was younger.
‘Stable buck’ means he tends the horses on the ranch, and this is where he sleeps. He is not allowed to sleep in the bunkhouse with the rest of the ranch workers, as they are afraid that they might catch a disease off him, so instead he has to sleep in the barn with the animals. He lives a life of solitude, being alone in the barn with no-one coming in to talk to him, ‘You got no right to come in my room’, ‘I aint wanted in the bunkhouse and you aint wanted in here’.
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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
The Quality of Written Communication is quite poor. There is frequent misuse of grammar with comma splice and subordinate clauses made to stand alone as a sentence in their own right. This is primary school stuff and should not be an issue even for GCSE students, let alone A Level candidates. This is something that needs to be addressed because if the clarity of written expression becomes so poor that the examiners cannot understand the candidate's answer, they will be awarded zero marks.
Level of analysis
The Level of Analysis is quite poor as it is not very apparent. This answer consists mostly of description and where the analysis is evident there is little evidence that successfully supports the theories. "Him having books suggests to us that he may have been educated well as a child (sic)". This is a very vague interpretation of something that has been examined very vaguely. The candidate should note that the book is a Civil Rights book, and this tells us that Crooks is very proud of his skin colour and 'knows his Rights'. This is so that, in the event of prejudice or an attack, he can prove to people that he is perfectly within his Rights as a staunchly law-abiding citizen. The reason he may have these books is not because he was educated as a child, but because of the prejudice he received because of his skin colour - he wanted to better himself by learning the law of the land and educating himself for the feeling of accomplishment, despite the prejudice he received; he wanted to prove he was a worthy citizen of America. The fact that the book is dated 1905 tells us that he, like so many other ranch hands, does not have the money to buy books, and so this one was probably found or given to him, and does not have sufficient funds to buy the updated version. This is the kind of analysis required of A Level students - a sensitive contextual appreciation of the social and historical factors that influenced the events and characters of the novel is fundamental for all A Level candidates. The candidate may also want to consider their written clarity as an area for improvement -"He is not allowed to sleep in the bunkhouse with the rest of the ranch workers, as they are afraid that they might catch a disease off him (sic)". This is ambiguous, and suggests that the candidate shares similar views to the other ranch hands. The candidate should mention that the reason the other workers fear getting a disease off of Crooks is because he is black.
Response to question
This candidate shows very vague focus in their answer. It is not clear was the task here is. This shows the the candidate has not focused their answer well enough for somebody who has no knowledge of the question or novel to understand what they are saying. This candidate should look to be more clear and precise with what they say, for as early as the first paragraph there are discrepancies which suggest either a poor quality of written communication of an insufficient understanding of the novel and the characters in it. "I have chosen to do Crooks as I feel he is a defined character, different to the rest so I thought it would be interesting to go into him with more detail." - this is not a very good introduction, and appears to suggest that none of the other characters have the depth that Crooks does, and whilst there is always room for personal interpretation in analytical responses, claiming something that quite clearly contradicts the authorial intentions is frankly wrong. Candidates must be clear and confident in how they write - "I thought that" sounds flimsy and not confident enough an introduction to base a whole piece of analysis on - it comes across as a fleeting thought, rather than an in-depth study.
