Lord Capulet lacks empathy; he forcefully verbally abuses his daughter in order to make Juliet marry someone she does not love. His domineering personality leaks into his role as being a protective parent towards Juliet; he does not allow her to grow as a person.
“My child is yet a stranger in the world, she has not seen change of the fourteen years.”
All parents need to be protective, but sometimes can be over protective. Lord Capulet does not give Juliet any freedom; he does not let her grow into a mature person by denying her independence. As a father, he should understand, he does not understand that Juliet is a young lady and needs to grow morally as a person as well. He does not understand as he lacks in morals himself.
Lord Capulet being a domineering and over protective father can also be manipulative.
“But woo her gentle, Paris get her heart.”
He is not giving advice, he is telling Paris what to do so he can secure his future; Paris is a rich young gentleman who will carry on the family fortune. As well as showing his manipulative side this is also linked with him being selfish. Lord Capulet does not ask Juliet to marry Paris, he just tells her; he is selfish. He is bemused when Juliet does not want to marry Paris.
“How will she none? Doth she does not give us thanks,
is she not proud?”
Juliet love for Romeo is very strong; even though she knows that there will be conflict between her and her father she still stands up to him. This is a sign of Lord Capulet being selfish and lack understanding. Even though he does not know about Romeo, Capulet should still understand that a person cannot marry someone they do not love. As being a father to Juliet he should understand, but he does not cope with his role and do so, instead he lashes out at Juliet with fury and tells her to marry Paris.
With all that in consideration Lord Capulet does not show qualities requires by a parent to bring up Juliet in an appropriate. He shows his affection and his love for Juliet when it is too late.
“Alack, my child is dead, and with my child my joys are buries.”
He has the feelings of a good parent, but he has to show them through his actions when bringing up Juliet.
Similarly Lady Capulet also does not produce the adequate parenting required to give Juliet an ideal up bringing. Lady Capulet does not provide love, affection, or time for Juliet, all these feelings and qualities are not provided due to her being harsh. Lady Capulet is more concerned about making an arranged marriage for Juliet rather than Juliet’s happiness. She wants to secure her future instead she should be more worried about how Juliet is feeling.
“Here comes your father, tell him so yourself;
And see how he will take it at you hands.”
Lady Capulet does actually care for Juliet that is one reason why she concerned for Juliet to get married to Paris. She wants the best for her daughter and in her eyes she thinks that Paris is the best; he has money and is high up in the social hierarchy. However, Lady Capulet fails to see the one thing that a marriage needs to survive and that is love. She does not recognise this because she lacks love in her relationship with Lord Capulet.
Lady Capulet has a distant and formal relationship with Juliet.
“Find the means, and I’ll find such a man.
But now I’ll tell thee joyful tidings girl.”
As a friendship has not been developed it causes their communication to be kept to a minimum; without communication there is a lack of parental qualities that should be given to Juliet allowing inadequate parenting to over take. Lady Capulet asks Juliet if she will marry Paris, she asks Juliet as if it is a business proposal and not a marriage proposal. Lady Capulets’ lack of communication with Juliet brings with it a lack of empathy for Juliet.
“Hath sorted out sudden say of joy,
that thou expects not, no I look’d for.”
Her limited empathy towards Juliet forms a cold and unemotional relationship with Juliet. However when Juliet dies she does show genuine grief towards the death of her daughter.
“O, the people in the street cry ‘Romeo’,
Some ‘Juliet’, and some ‘Paris’, and all run,
With open outcry toward our monument.”
Lady Capulet does show genuine grief; she actually does care about Juliet. Lady Capulet does not cope well with her role; she does not provide qualities of an adequate mother towards Juliet. She does not show affection, love, time, or a have a friendship with Juliet. With these qualities she might have been able to help Juliet or even allow her to marry Romeo, but instead she forced Juliet away and did not cope with her role of being a good parent. A good parent would support their child whatever their decision as long as their child is happy and loved.
Unlike Lady Capulet the Nurse does not force Juliet away. She shows her feelings and emotions towards Juliet, she is more of a mother towards Juliet than Lady Capulet. Unlike Lady Capulet she shows that she cares for Juliet.
“Thou wast the prettiest babe that e’er I nursed.”
The Nurse cares for Juliet and loves her. She respects her more than Lord and Lady Capulet by calling her ‘woman’. She realises that Juliet is growing up and that she needs encouragement to do so. She gives her independence that Juliet requires. The Nurse treats Juliet like her own daughter and wants what is best for her, this is why she gives her independence and respect, as this is what she requires. However she does also give her restrictions, as she is not a woman yet. The Nurse realises and understands that Juliet is still not yet a woman and gives her guidance to give her a decent upbringing. The Nurse shows the qualities of an adequate parent throughout the play. She shows the audience that she constantly thinks of Juliet and loves her a lot. She shows he love towards Juliet because she has looked after Juliet throughout her whole life. The Nurse shows her love for Juliet through her actions as well.
“Then hie you hence to Friar Lawrence’s cell.
There stays a husband to make you a wife.”
The Nurse tells Juliet that she can marry Romeo. The Nurse knows by letting this happen she has put her job on the line as the Montagues and the Capulets are rivals. She loves Juliet that much that she has put Juliet before her job; she loves Juliet and is almost like a mother. This shows the loyalty she carries for Juliet, like any good parent she supports Juliet whatever the matter. A good parent is always loyal to their child whatever the situation. Her loyalty is also with the Capulets aswell.
“O Tybalt best fried I had! O courteous Tybalt, honest gentleman,
that I should live to see the dead!”
The Nurse has been with the Capulet family for fourteen years she has grown to love them even with their faults. With love there always come respect. She respects Juliet; with respect comes loyalty. It is the same loyalty that she has for the Capulet family that makes her betray Juliet. The Nurse after helping Juliet to marry Romeo, tells her to marry Paris.
“I think it is best you marry with the County.
O he’s a lovely gentleman.”
Here is where the Nurse and Lady Capulet share the same feelings both of them want the best for Juliet and the Nurse sees this as an easy option out as Romeo is banished and Paris is here with security for the future. She wants her to forget about Romeo. After all the hurt it has caused she thinks it is easier to marry Paris. Juliet feels isolated that the Nurse has betrayed her. The Nurse, she does not understand what Juliet feels when she tells Juliet to marry Paris; the Nurse is her confidante, she is Juliet’s last hope after her father demands she marries Paris. The Nurse does not take into consideration of Juliets’ viewpoint. Due to the inconsiderate thinking by the Nurse it leaves Juliet distressed and rejects the Nurse even though she does not want to.
The Nurse has been a good parent throughout the play except for when she betrayed Juliet at the end of the play. Lord and Lady Capulet did not provide the qualities of a good parent so she went to go and seek these good qualities from the Nurse. The Nurse provided Juliet with a maternal friendship, gave constant affection, advice, time and was a good confidante. However she betrayed Juliet, leaving Juliet isolated.
Romeo also needs to find another means of getting adequate parenting; he goes to Friar Lawrence for help. Friar Lawrence is a wise man, he is a suitable father figure for Romeo to look up to; unlike the Montagues he is respected by all and is a knowledgeable advisor. Friar Lawrence provides the care that is needed from a good parent.
“That’s my good son, but where hast thou been then?”
Friar Lawrence is concerned about Romeo; here he is showing care for Romeo as a father would. All good parents show concern for their children. The concern shown by Friar Lawrence creates a friendship between them and it is a fatherly one. There is a good relationship between Friar Lawrence and Romeo because Friar Lawrence has spent most of his life with him, and knows everything he should about Romeo, whenever Romeo needs help he can go to Friar Lawrence because Romeo is not as close to Lord Montague than he is to Friar Lawrence so Romeo finds it easier to talk to Friar Lawrence when he needs help. Romeo and Friar Lawrence have develop trust in their relationship that is one reason why he finds it easier to go to Friar Lawrence rather than Lord Montague. To trust someone you must always care for him or her. With care coming from a parental figure the will always do what is right. Friar Lawrence does this.
“Taking thy part, hath rush’d aside the law.
And turned that black word ‘death’ to ‘banishment’.
This is dear mercy, and thou seest it not.”
Friar Lawrence does what is right, he reprimands Romeo for thinking that death is better than banishment. He then also nurtures him. A good parent would show affection and love after telling off their child so that the child would be able to learn from their mistakes. He understands what Romeo is going through and puts himself in Romeos place and guides Romeo to what he should do. This portrays the Friar as an understanding parent, something that a parent should have to cope with their role. Due to Friar Lawrence understanding Romeo’s situation he is able to provide advice.
“Let me dispute with thee of thy estate.”
This is something that Lord Montague does not do for Romeo, due to the lack of communication. Friar Lawrence and Romeo communicate that is why Romeo can seek the qualities of an adequate parent from him. Friar Lawrence tries to calm Romeo down and advises him in his present situation. This shows that they have a good father-son relation ship and that Romeo can trust Friar Lawrence with just about anything. A good parent provides protection for the child this is what Friar Lawrence does for Romeo.
“Arise, one knocks. Good Romeo, hide thyself.”
Friar Lawrence protects Romeo from someone knocking on the door, he is scared as he has just killed Tybalt and is still in Verona. Friar Lawrence puts himself on the line, as a good parent would do so for their child under any situation. This is only the Nurse knocking on the door acting as a messenger between Romeo and Juliet. Romeo has one last chance to go and see Juliet the Friar yet again advises him.
“Therefore love moderately, long love doth so.”
This is the most important piece of advice that Friar Lawrence gives to him, telling him not to love too passionately, and to limit it and make it last for a long period of time. This is the advice that a good parent would give, and could have saved this disaster from happening if Romeo had taken the advice. He warns Romeo against haste, this advice would protect him from the disaster of dying.
Friar Lawrence also encourages Romeo to be with Juliet. He hatches a plan for them to see each other, however he falls short in the end, as Romeo does not get the news in time that Juliet has only taken a potion and is not really dead. However, on the whole Friar Lawrence did cope with his role of being an adequate parent towards Romeo. He was in a society that had no faith for love and if Juliet had adequate parenting then maybe this whole disaster would not have occurred.
In conclusion Friar Lawrence coped the best with his role in being an a parent he showed love, affection, gave advice, gave time, had a parental friendship, gave rules, showed consideration of a child’s viewpoint and gave people the ability to mature. He was respected for being knowledgeable and wise. The worst was Lord Capulet, who did not show any of these qualities, he might have cared for Juliet and had a numerous amount of opportunities to show it, but failed to do so.
Romeo and Juliets disaster occurs because of secrets and inadequate parenting. If there had been adequate parenting in a loving society there would be no need of keeping secrets within the two star struck lovers. The two families feuding for generations did not help the matter. Unfortunately society added to the problem of making them keep their passionate love a secret. This is the moral message that Shakespeare tried to show when writing this play; society plays a huge part on our lives. This society in Verona was diseased and was like a worm eating away the centre of a flower, which was this beautiful and passionate love, created by Romeo and Juliet. It does not allow the two lovers from two feuding families to be together. It is like a few years ago when it would be frowned upon to see a black and white couple on the streets. The world is what we make of it, and Shakespeare is trying to say it should not be like this.
