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The role of language is crucial in this process of relationships.

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The role of language is crucial in this process of relationships. Language shapes reality, and it limits what ideas and concepts are available in a particular situation. In all aspects of our lives we engage with, resist, reframe with, the meanings available through language, to give meaning to every aspect of our lives. Ideas and understandings available through language shape our practice in a variety of ways in everyday interactions. It has been well known since the beginning of time that men and women are on different wavelengths when it comes to communicating. The differences between the communication styles of men and women go far beyond mere socialization, and appear to be inherent in the basic make up of each sex (Lee, Shaw). For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking (Lee, Shaw). ...read more.


This dynamic is important to remember when looking at another major area of miscommunication between men and women. Women cannot understand the resistance men seem to have when asked for assistance or consideration of some kind or another. Women must understand that, for men, doing what they're asked to do means they have lost status in that relationship (Lee, Shaw). Men often feel that women are trying to manipulate them. What a woman might see as a simple request that is "no big deal" is seen by her man as an attempt to manipulate him into a "lesser" position. For women, talking about troubles is the essence of connection. Men, however, hear troubles talk as a request for advice, so they respond with a solution (Lee, Shaw). When a man offers this kind of information the woman often feels as if he is trying to diminish her problem or cut her off. In his eyes, he's being supportive, because men don't talk to each other about their troubles unless they really do want a solution; talking about their problems is wallowing in them. ...read more.


The woman begins to feel that her man doesn't care about her because he won't talk to her in a way that feels intimate. One may get the impression from this discussion that women's style of communicating is superior to men's. Indeed, since the dawning of the women's movement there have been many declaring that men just don't know how to communicate because they don't communicate like women (Lee, Shaw). Communication, whether verbal or sexual, is a vital aspect in a healthy relationship. The lines of communication must always be open and ever flowing. We must accept the fact that women and men do communicate in a variety of different ways, and learn to adjust to find peace in our relationships. The issue of communication and power is something that can cause many arguments between couples. If the reason behind communication isn't for the sole purpose of wanting to share, learn and listen to each other, misunderstanding and resentment will be the outcome. Communication in any relationship; male-female, male-male or female-female, will vary and accepting and recognizing our differences is an essential part of understanding our partner. ...read more.

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