HARRY
Anyway, let’s go, I needa show you around a bit. Here. This guy walking up now. His name is Sean Fagan. He is probably the toughest guy in the school. Do not mess with him. He supposedly one time killed a guy with his bare hands but they couldn’t prove it was him. Don’t even make eye contact with him.
JOHN
Well, I’ll certainly stay out of his way. What does that say on his coat? Hardcore B******? Okay, now I’m scared.
HARRY
You’ll be fine. Just make sure you never go down any alleys during the night. They say that’s where he stalks his prey. Anyway, come on out to the yard.
The camera follows JOHN and HARRY as they walk out the side door. There are children everywhere running around and playing football.
HARRY
Welcome to the great outdoors. This is where people like you usually get their head taken off by one of Sean Fagan’s fists.
JOHN
So, this is a school yard. We didn’t have any in our old school. We just ate a small lunch and then it was straight back to studies.
HARRY
You truly are a douche bag. You wanna go and play a bit of footy with the lads? I know you probably don’t want to but you’re gonna.
JOHN
I’ve never actually played football. It looks kind of tough....
HARRY
Aw, don’t be a wimp, it’s only a sport, plus it’s non contact. Come on, it’s starting, we’ll shoot this way (points)
The football match starts. It is not a normal football match. It’s more like a forty man brawl. We watch JOHN go to kick the ball. He misses and kicks a someone’s leg. The boy turns around and punches him in the face. JOHN falls to the ground and a lot of people crowd around laughing and taunting JOHN. A few people jump on top of him. This goes on for the rest of lunch and the bell then rings. JOHN gets up and starts to cry.
The scene skips on a year. We now see an older looking JOHN walking down the corridor with SEAN FAGAN. They are both wearing the Hardcore B****** coats and no-one is walking in their way.
JOHN
Listen mate, I’ve gotta go for a leak, I’ll talk to you later on tonight.
SEAN
Yeah, whatever
JOHN walks into the toilet and goes to the toilet. While he is washing his hands, HARRY walks into the bathroom.
HARRY
Well, well, well, looks like you got yourself a new coat. Where’s your new friend now John, huh?
JOHN
Piss off, Harry. You wouldn’t come near me if I was with Sean so go away before I give him a call.
HARRY
Oh, so he’s your new bodyguard now? He protects you so the same thing doesn’t happen to you like what happened to your mother.
JOHN
Never speak about my ma.
HARRY
Or what? Are you going to call Sean and get him down here to help you out? Or maybe you’ll start crying like you did in the playground that time.
JOHN
I SWEAR TO GOD HARRY...IF YOU SAY ANOTHER THING....
HARRY
What are you gonna do? Kill me like your mother was killed. Stick a knife in my stomach? Go on. Do me.
John attempts to punch HARRY in the face but HARRY dodges it. HARRY then head butts HARRY and starts kicking him while he’s on the ground.
HARRY
You might act like you’re the lad but you’re nothing. Absolutely nothing.
JOHN is lying in heap on the bathroom floor for a long time after HARRY leaves. His nose is covered in blooded and his hair is a mess. Tears start flowing from his face. He slowly rises to his feet and walks out of the bathroom. He makes a phone call but we don’t hear the conversation.
JOHN is in school yard the next day badly bruised. He sees SEAN FAGAN and walks over. They are alone away from any person.
JOHN
You take care of Harry alright?
SEAN
Let’s just say he won’t be bothering you again anytime soon.
He notices that SEAN has a scarf on. Suddenly we see a flashback. It shows JOHN walking in to his house while two masked people are threatening his mother. They take all her money and stab her. JOHN starts screaming and doesn’t dare chase them. He notices one of the boys is wearing a scarf the same as SEAN FAGAN is wearing. The flashback ends.
JOHN
That scarf, I-I’ve seen it before.
SEAN
Yeah, probably cause I wear it you ass.
JOHN
No, I saw it the night my mum was killed; I saw it when someone was running from my house. I-it was you.
SEAN
WHAT? Don’t talk rubbish.
JOHN
Well, you do have a reputation, don’t you? You kill my mum but you don’t get all the money you need. So you befriend me, come into my house, take my money and then, well I don’t know. What were you going to do then? Kill me? Kill my dad?
SEAN
You’ve got the wrong idea, you d-d-don’t know what you’re talking ab...
JOHN
I know what you’re up to and you know what? I ain’t scared of a piece of scum like you. I was stupid to think that you were a mate of mine. You’re a lying dirty rotten rat. You’ve been screwing people over your whole life and you won’t get the better of me
SEAN
Oh, well, that changes it then. With a speech like that, I can’t really touch you know, can i? (Starts to laugh)
JOHN
Don’t be such a twat, you’re always cracking jokes at other peoples expense and it’s not funny. I’m going to leave now and I’m gonna go to the police station and you will spend the rest of your life behind bars.
SEAN
Well, you know, I disagree with that. You got thing right. You’re gonna leave but you’re leaving with me and when I’m finished with you’d wish you were dead
Suddenly SEAN pounces onto JOHN and holds him down. He punches him twice in the head. JOHN is knocked unconscious and SEAN picks him up and walks away
The end credits start to roll
Commentary
I have created a script about a boy who moves over to England and has to start going to school. It has elements of comedy but it is a serious story that I hope will shock the reader when you see the ending. My target audience for this script was mainly teenagers as it is about teenagers in a school and teenagers can relate to this. The rating for my script would be 16+ as it is not very suitable for younger viewers. I also hope the script would also be appealing to people in their 20 and 30’s as they have also attended school in its current strict form. The purpose of this script is to entertain and also to be aware that teenagers these days aren’t as innocent as they may look.
When planning my script I looked at a few teenage TV programs which looked at teenage life. The one I really looked into was ‘Skins’. In Skins there are a lot of expletives which I have mimicked in my own piece but they are in a smaller dose. The theme of my style model was also to entertain and contain comic elements. In my script we see that the character Anwar is taking on a different persona and is therefore using different language such as ‘It's gonna be... Huh! Wah! Chugga-chugga-wah! Hit me’! I also did this in my own script by giving the two main characters different ways of saying things such as John using formal language like ‘oh dear’ and Harry using the more informal ‘I will personally kick your arse’.
I have used several linguistic choices to add more humour to my piece to make it a more entertaining read. In my piece I make Harry constantly insult John by his use of taboo language on him such as a ‘twat’ or a ‘little shit’. The use of taboo language is relevant as these lads are young adults with a tough upbringing and it wouldn’t be realistic if I took this away from the piece. I also have chosen several linguistic choices to suit my intended audience. Phrases like ‘You sound with that’ and ‘posh twat in a hole like this’ relate to teenagers today as this is generally the sort of grammar and language they will use to their friends at school. The main setting of the script is in a school which is quite easy for people when reading the script to visualise as most of the viewers will probably still be in school. Lexis is a apparent in the script in the way that Harry addresses John on a few occasions. He addresses him as ‘bruv’ which could mean ‘mate’ or just used to start a sentence. The word is generally used by people who listen to hip hop music. Also I have described that Harry ‘wears baggy jeans that hang loose’. This yet again tells us that he must be influenced by the hip hop scene and this is where he gets his style and image from. Another factor I have used to create more effect with the lexis I used is pauses in the lines of the characters to create more of an emphasis to show the feeling behind what they are saying. In such a situation John says ‘That scarf, I-I’ve seen it before’. This is used here because John is realising something that is very hard for him to take and he can’t really believe it.
I have tried to develop each character in my script through their use of phrases and words. I have tried to show the viewer what each character does differently and how they react to different things as they progress through the story. The character John is very shy and out of place at the start. He uses such phrases like ‘oh dear’ and ‘I’m sorry’. I intentionally skipped forward a year after John had been crying in the yard just to show the viewers how John had come. He had lost his mother which had made him a lot tougher and he was hanging around with the wrong sort of people. After the skip in time his language is significantly different. He says things like ‘Listen mate, I’ve gotta go for a leak’ and ‘piss off’. At the start John was very scared of a particular bully but at the end of the story he is not scared at all and he is willing to put up a fight. I developed John to get like this the whole way through the story.
The end