The fire begins to stutter as if it’s running out of words to say to me, I sit there longing for the warmth I had as a baby in my mother’s womb, every so often I try to visualize the most welcoming place I can imagine. I begin to dream of a place where I could reach complete harmony. This personal heaven fills me with utmost pleasure, releasing me from the torture that the winter has left me with. Not for long though, the salty taste in the air brings me back to reality, the taste from the waves crashing up onto the icy beach.
Now waves steal the sand as they retreat away from me revealing its skeleton; the hard stone that refuses to be taken away. On the nights the moonlight seems to get caught in the waves, locked away trying desperately to escape the power of possession that the sea reveals by this menacing act.
I try and get some sleep on this agonizing cold winter night and maybe if I focus on it hard enough it might just disappear. I roll up into a ball as if agreeing to the winter and I drift drearily into unconsciousness.
The heat, giving sun that stays late in the evening, almost like a smiling friend that you would never want to leave, awoke me. Wiping away the grit from my unbearable night's sleep, the starch white sunlight blinded me momentarily, yet as I arose from my deep slumber the hospitable heat swallowed me up. Warmth is the one thing that has a never-ending supply of security for me; warmth hugs me in a way that is unexplainable. The sand has altered from firm to a likeness of the sand I used to play on as a child, silky and warm to the touch. Then a slight aroma of a familiar smell travels up my nose. I could not mistake it. I could not mistake that smell. It was the scent of roses in spring as they unfold from winter. The smell of plants pollinating, the feeling of fresh air stimulating my lungs. Birds calling out to be noticed. Complete bliss.
I stripped down to my underwear, took a deep breath and dived into the luxuriously cool water. I rose to the surface, spluttering. After regaining myself, a rush of sudden happiness took over my body. I splashed about, screaming and yelling, beating the water with my palms and turning somersaults in the water. My entire body reveling in the delights of this summer weather, I was so ecstatic to be completely stress-free with nothing to bother me. The waves traveling over my back lift me into an unsurpassed feeling of pleasure. Then the seas pressure forces some water into my mouth.
The salty taste of the sea reminded me of the winter weather. The ice and the bitterly cold wind surrounded me, suffocated me until I could bear no more. It was like winter had come back to claim me for its own. Just the thought of it, a pirate stealing my soul like it’s some sort of treasure using my senses to confuse me. It is a terrible detailed memory which will haunt me. Forever.
