Mumbai (formerly Bombay); is widely known as the slum capital of the Asia. These slums have existed in Mumbai since the time of the forts. Dating back to the early 1900s, slums were predominantly found around the mills

Review of essay

Rating: 3 star(s)

Response to the question

There is no established title to respond to, so I assume the response should include detailed case study of Mumbai's slums; mentioning their causes, effects, short and long term positive and negative aspects. The response overall is short, which conveys that the candidate may be lacking in knowledge about the subject. However, the response is slightly better than this assumption because it gets straight to the point in most instances. The response in the first paragraph is good as it highlights some pros and cons of the slums, which are discussed in more detail later on. The essential case study of Dharavi is included with appropriate detail, which conveys some depth of research by the candidate. The inclusion of government plans for Dharavi is excellent. Overall the response is average, which is dragged by the conclusion. It not summaries and acknowledge prior information well, as it includes new information and also tails off on a weak point 'some day or another', could have been phrased better such as 'as India's development transition continues'.

Level of analysis

The candidate could have gone further by comparing Dharavi with the more developed parts of Mumbai, to highlight the stark comparison of the Mumbai's ever expanding development gap. It could have also been cross compared with other shanty towns such as favelas in Sao Paulo or townships in South Africa, as there is a development continuum between these locations. Only one statistic was given in the whole essay. Statistics such as '85% of Dharavi's population are economically active' are vital in order to emphasise the positive aspect of the slum. However, a clear contrast between positives and negatives was given, which was adequate. The inclusion of why Dharavi's population is increase (due to the influx of economic migrants) is also very good. The regeneration of slum areas but authorities could have been compared to the effect of the uprising of council estates in Britain and their social problems. Overall the analysis was also average, as there was a lot of information which should have been included.

Quality of writing

For an A level essay, the standard of geographical terminology is poor. Terms such as NIC, development, economically active, birth rate etc were not mentioned as these are GCSE standard words, so A level terms were definitely hard to find. Spelling, punctuation and grammar are excellent.