Outline the relationship between plate movement and volcanic activity

Review of essay

Rating: 3 star(s)

Response to the question

Response to question: The student answers the question well by stating different types of plate movement (destructive and constructive plate margins, and hot spots) and then describing the types of volcanic activity found in these areas (how hot the magma/lava is, how explosive and predictable to eruptions are, and the steepness of volcano sides). Their response could be made more explicit by ordering the points in a clearer way. For example, one idea is to split to essay into three sections of plate movement – destructive margins, constructive margins, and hot spots. Then write one paragraph on each section describing: the plate movement, how volcanic activity occurs, what the eruptions are like and examples of where in the world these are. This student provides all the necessary relevant material, just re-structuring it would make their ideas more coherent and easy to understand (hence leading to a higher grade).

Level of analysis

Level of analysis: The student gives examples of locations where these volcanic processes occur in some parts of their essay (for example “such as Hawaii where the plate boundary is underneath a hot spot, which causes the Hawaiian chain islands”). However, more examples would provide more support for the ideas displayed. For instance, in the 4th paragraph the Soufriere hills volcano of Montserrat could be described as an example of a subduction zone.

Quality of writing

Quality of Writing: Apart from the odd typo such as ‘of’ rather than ‘off’ (which could be easily prevented by proof-reading), the writing is fine in terms of spelling and grammar. The writer makes good use of technical terms which display their knowledge of the topic (for example, they successfully use terms such as ‘Benioff Zone’, ‘andesitic’ and ‘rhyolitic’ in the correct context). To improve, I would suggest using more connective wordda dn phrases to make the essay flow more naturally. For example, using ‘additionally’, ‘moreover’, ‘to add’, ‘similarly’ etc between both sentences and paragraphs.