Bognor
When you visit Bognor the first thing you will notice is the weather. It’s the gloomiest place on the planet. My Gran lives there, that's about the worst insult you can give a place. I presume about half the grannies on the planet live there. The name Bognor it sounds like a waste disposal company. It’s the type of name that puts you of your dinner. Bognor’s best attribute is probably its fish and chips shops. They are pretty abysmal to say the least. The assistants barely speak English and can’t be bothered to serve you ; they don’t even really want your money, what are they going to spend it on they live in Bognor .
The Bognorians under close inspection all resemble each other. Bognorians seem to have a very similar facial structure. Maybe this is because they always stay in Bognor, for the fear of not being accepted in a real civilization. The expertise of being lazy is by no means an easy task to learn. It takes years of living in a hovel with nothing to do but watch Brookside and eat pork scratchings. Pork scratchings are partially to blame for the appalling teeth one can find on Bognorians. However made of pork fat and lard they are the ideal food for a lazy man. This forms a layer of blubber. Which acts as a yearlong jumper. A type of blubber you can find on a hippopotamus or male seal. This layer helps Bognorians to go practically into hibernation. They stay like this in their bungalows and caravans wrapped up in their beds until winter is over, bingeing on curries and hobnobs watching daytime television. They then come out of hibernation and lay on the sofa for nine months.