the longer the doctor waits before interrupting at the beginning of the interview, the more likely she is to discover the full spread of issues that the patient wants to discuss and the less likely will it be that new complaints arise at the end of the interview (Beckman and Frankel 1984)
Consequently within this study two types of interpersonal skills were being portrayed; questioning skills and listening skills.
Interrupting people is not only bad manners; it also robs doctors (and lawyers) of important benefits often gained from letting patients and clients talk:
- Listening saves time and helps you achieve better results. By getting the whole story up front, you can avoid "misdiagnoses" and going off on wild goose chases. (I make this point knowing full well that, in some law firms, billings for misdiagnoses make the payments on the firm’s condo in Oceanside, and "Wild goose law" might as well be included in their Martindale-Hubbell listing.)
- Listening can lead to more work. Beckman and Frankel reported that, when uninterrupted, patients in their study typically raised two or three additional areas of concern, not just one. An attorney who prematurely fixates on solving a client’s contract dispute may never get to learn about that client’s tax, environmental, paternity and bail-jumping problems.
- Listening builds rapport and enhances client satisfaction. To have someone listen is an in-born craving, right up there with late-night runs to In 'n Out (or so I've been told). People especially need to be heard when their personal or business world is crashing down around them. In the client’s mind, a professional who can listen is a rarity, and whether clients retain you and how they describe you to others may depend largely on how interested you seem and how well you demonstrate your listening skills.
- Listening helps avoid malpractice claims. An ABA survey of med-mal defense attorneys indicates that about 75% of claims result from poor communication between doctor and patient. And (as anyone who has ever been married knows) about 90% of communication is listening.
Two of the keys to being a good listener are (1) the ability to put yourself in the client’s shoes (be sure to secure the client’s permission first, always use a shoe horn and have plenty of foot powder on hand) and (2) remembering two cardinal rules of client relations:
- While few clients can appreciate your technical skill, most are keenly aware of how you treat them.
- Given the choice, most people would rather empty bedpans than visit a lawyer.
The day they come to see you for the first time may be the worst day of their lives. Whatever their dilemma – death, divorce, dispute – and whether they’re a CEO or a homemaker, by the time you see them they probably aren’t hitting on all cylinders. If there’s ever going to be a time when they need for someone to listen to them, this may be it.
Listening generously
Most attorneys are conditioned to listen critically and selectively, to gather facts and separate the wheat from the chaff so they can begin solving the problem.
But if you start processing prematurely, you risk leaving your clients behind. Even if you’ve got it all figured out, they may not be ready for solutions just yet. First, they may have to blame, grieve, accuse or defend.
This is not the time for you to listen critically. Instead, try listening generously. It’s easy and, besides, you can generally bill for it.
Generous listening begins before you and your client even sit down. Be conscious of the physical layout of your office, and avoid seating arrangements that are awkward or might discourage openness.
For example, sitting behind your desk, across from your client, may seem natural and lawyer-like to you, but for someone who’s in a bad way and already intimidated just by being in a law office, your beautiful mahogany desk may as well be the Berlin Wall.
Also, select a seating arrangement that minimizes any significant height differences between the two of you (this is especially important if you represent basketball players or circus people).
Further, maintain an appropriate distance from your client. What is and isn’t appropriate varies somewhat, based in part on your client’s gender. Most men like to keep some physical distance between themselves and other people (especially other men). Women, on the other hand, may feel more comfortable in close proximity with other people. Don’t get carried away with this technique, however. Men won’t appreciate being stuck in the opposite corner of the room from you any more than most women are going to warm up to you imitating a department store Santa Claus.
Pay attention to your body language. Assume an open posture; avoid folding your arms across your chest. Lean toward your client or sit up straight. You may think that leaning back with your feet on the desk projects an air of comfort and familiarity, but clients may interpret it as indifference (especially if you doze off) or arrogance.
Maintaining eye contact or something close to it is a good way to let your client feel like you’re paying attention. Look at them, but don’t bore a hole through their head. To keep your eyes from glazing over, occasionally shift your gaze from their eyes to their mouth, nose, chin, etc. If you practice juvenile law, you can also study their facial jewelry and read their tattoos.
It’s okay (and in some cases, downright essential) to look away from them now and then, but only briefly and never to look outside. While the histrionics of weighing the legal pluses and minuses of their situation may dictate that you gaze out your window, that’s a sure-fire signal to insecure clients that you are not listening, couldn’t care less about them and wish you were out at the club.
