The greatest obstacle to solving the Irish question in the years 1874 - 1886 was the issue of land: assess the validity of this view.

Review of essay

Rating: 5 star(s)

Response to the question

The student answers the question excellently. Most students know to present alternative interpretations to show they understand there is more than one opinion on the causes of all historical events. But this student takes it a step further by writing things like "The interpretation that the issue of land was the greatest obstacle has much to commend it" - by saying that an interpretation has a lot of strengths, they are showing they have the knowledge and understanding to judge one interpretation to be better than another. The essay stays on task and focused the whole way through, which is good because it shows the student has enough knowledge to answer the question.

Level of analysis

The student gets the balance between giving details of an event and explaining why it happened or what the effects were - at the end of the the second paragraph, the student describes how Parnell created friction, and weaker students would stop there, which is bad as anyone can remember a few details. But this student goes on to explain that it was significant and it stopped the achievement of peace, which shows they have a developed knowledge and understanding. The essay uses a good range of evidence, especially precise dates - such as "the 1881 Land Act" - which shows that the student has a detailed knowledge of the period and isn't just saying "the Land Act of the early 1880s", which sounds vague and general. The essay would benefit from heavier use of statistics: when the student says "unparalleled unrest and violence", it would have been useful to perhaps add in the number of riots in the period, if that information was available. This would have shown the student knows what actually makes violence "unparalleled" - the lack of a statistic suggests they are just saying it was unparalleled without being sure what makes it that way. The conclusion to the essay is very good as it points out both short term and long term reasons: this tells the examiner the student has enough knowledge to explain why one was sudden and one happened over time. This knowledge may have come from wider reading, which improves marks at A Level because teachers don't teach all the relevant information as they do at GCSE: look online or in books for a few extra facts about each area of your syllabus, and don't be afraid to drop them in when it's relevant, as it will make you stand out as someone who is thinking widely about the subject.

Quality of writing

A particularly good feature of this essay is the use of phrases like "Gladstone's policy could be seen as...". Examiners look for you to be tentative, which means you don't say things for certain, but understand that things can't be explained by one essay and may have many causes. The spelling, grammar and punctuation are excellent, leading to an essay that is easy to read and understand. The essay also benefits from using words such as "cause": the student says "similar ‘knife and fork’ issues...caused great Irish unrest", which is good because it shows a crystal clear understanding of the link between the issues and the unrest. There is very little this student could do to improve the quality of their writing.