“This is Apollo 11 reporting to earth. Huston we have a problem we are dying of bad food poisoning,”
“Oh do stop being so immature, it’s not that bad,” James said
I could see that he thought it was as bad as I thought it was, but he would not admit it, he was just trying to disagree with me because of who I am.
We have had lunch and now we are on our way again. Our next stop was at the ‘more snow stop’. It’s driving me mad! I actually used to like snow, but that did not stick for very long.
Chapter 3
I decided that it would be a good idea, just to play along with his views. I thought that it would be better, to be immature, if that’s what he thinks I am, but to be honest I think that, he, is immature, even thinking that I am immature, Because, to be quite honest, he must, be, the most, immature person, I have ever met. Such a hypocrite, not saying that I am. Anyway it’s not really going to matter after tonight. I just can’t wait to see his face.
“Are we allowed to go home?”
“Oh Why?”
“Why what?”
“Oh, now you decide to talk to me, but only to shout at me otherwise you just ignore me and so I can’t really see the point in even trying to make conversation if we are all ways going to argue!”
“We don’t argue at all!”
“No your right, that is a complete understatement!”
“Why, are you so immature?”
As you may be able to see, and if you can’t then go back to school, conversation is getting very difficult between James and I because we just don’t like each other and at the moment, I am being “immature”. He says that is the reason but we all know that it is him being immature.
“These snow shoes are getting really uncomfortable,”
“There we go again, moaning about anything,”
“It’s not just any thing it is starting to get painful,”
“Does it genuinely look like I actually care?”
“No but you could just feel a little bit of sympathy for me,”
“Oh, ok, do you feel well,”
“Just, shut up,”
“Fine!”
I decided at this point to annoy him further, by talking to my invisible friend who might give me some invisible conversation and maybe if I am lucky an invisible chocolate bar, oh that would be good.
“So how are you today bill?”
“I’m good thanks, and you?”
“Oh I am great,”
“Can I have some chocolate?”
“Yeah, sure why not?”
I could see that I was annoying him. When he got angry, he would start taking very deep breaths, and then scuff his feet to get attention and then, he would generally just wait, until I gave him a little bit of attention, and then he would scream at me about five minutes in some random language that he said was English, however, I just did not recognize it.
We kept walking for ages, I think I was getting a bit monotonous with my speaking; however, I did not really care. I asked if we could stop just to do some fishing, surprisingly James said yes. So we both sat down on our sledges and started to cut a hole in the ice.
“Get off the ice it’s is starting to crack up,”
“What about the bag’s!”
“We don’t need the bloody bags, get off the ice!”
“Do not go for the bags, ah you idiot,”
“You are very luck I was there to get off the ice you would have died you know,”
“It’s not like you would have cared anyway,”
“No, probably not, but anyway someone might have cared,”
“What do you mean some one might have cared?”
“No sorry I am being a bit charitable,”
“I was trying to say that my family would have cared and just because you don’t care does not mean that everybody else has to think that, people are not sheep you know they do not follow your lead anymore,”
Chapter 4
I am sitting in my tent just looking at it, and wondering if James is actually asleep so that I can go outside and take all the luxuries that he has been banning me from for the last two days. Chocolate, mmmmmm, doesn’t that sound good it is the only thing that is going to keep me alive on this massive journey across the baron wilderness of the arctic. God it isn’t half freezing out here. Found all of his stuff, it wasn’t exactly hard it is relatively easy; it’s all just sitting in his bag. He practically wants it to be taken. Chocolate, foot warmers and oh nice, warm dry socks. Well you know what, he is going to be quite annoyed when I say no to him when he wants some of my new stuff. Right its bed time then.
As I thought he would not be that happy about the things that I had stolen in the night, although I did not tell him that, oh no, those very naughty animals were especially naughty last night.
“God I really am very annoyed!” James bursts into the tent.
“What?” I look up surprised.
He explains what has gone missing and I really don’t have any sympathy. However I am trying to cover the fact that I took the stuff, by putting on a very serious expression.
“Yeah I know, but I suppose that it kind of was your fault for leaving the bag open in the first place,” I said
“I suppose, but it is also your fault for not putting the small tent over the bags last night just because you could not be bothered,”
“Yeah, but I do not really care because it was not any of my stuff that got taken by the animals,”
“Shut up and eat your lunch, we have got to get back on track before we get cold,”
“We are already cold,”
“I know, but! Just do it,” we continued to argue.
This really is getting funny, am I not giving him enough clues? I am practically telling him. He might find out tomorrow, if he is slightly clever. You should have seen his face when he realized it had gone. He went bright red. Luckily guess who he blamed first, the animals!
We never stop walking. it does not half get boring, I have actually started to forget what we came to get or to see. It isn’t necessarily the trip it is more the company, he just annoys me.
“When we get to the place that we are going to, we do get a helicopter back to Valder,” I checked, looking forward to that day.
“Of course we do, why?” James queried
“Just wondering, just in case I had to walk all the way back with you and the snow,” I said.
“Believe me I would not let that happen, I would rather just get every one to go there and we could live in the wild,”
“That would be really fun actually, living with the animals,” I said
“Oh do shut up about the animals I am quite annoyed about it,” James said
“I haven’t noticed,” I said
“Stop with the stupid sarcasm, it annoys me,” he shouted
“Is there anything that does not annoy you in the world?” I asked
“No, nothing here!”
“Just shut up and go to sleep,”
Chapter 5
“Don’t you just love the mornings?” Said James
“No, not much they bore me,” I replied
“How can they bore you, the only reason why they bore you is because of the snow,”
“No actually, it’s because of you,” I antagonized him
“You are already sending blind comments at me and you have only just woken up, do you do this at home?”
“Obviously not,” I replied
He never answers questions that he does not like, and so I think the reason why he is so miserable all the time is because, he never asks those sorts of questions. He is just sitting there in absolute rage thinking about how much he wants to smash me through the back end of this stupid tent. What a fun life that must be.
“Do you want some food for breakfast?,” He asked
“No, but I would like some cardboard if it is on the menu, I did not much like the breakfast yesterday,” I joked
“Oh, shut up,” James snapped
“Can we try just for one day to not shout at all, for the whole day, not just some of it, ok?,” I suggested
“Yeah, ok, but I am not promising anything,” he grunted
I really don’t think that we are going to keep this up for very long, considering that he has never not argued with me in his whole life. I remember the first day that we met; we had an argument about whether action man or spider man was better.
“What do you mean?,” I asked
“I mean that if you really start to annoy me I will shout at you,”
“Ok then, but only with reason,”
“Can we start tomorrow?,” James asked
“No, we are going to start today,” I suggested.
“Ok,” He murmured
He does not like this idea very much at all. I don’t think that he will be able to do it. It is the only thing that is keeping him alive on this trip.
“Can we get walking now?,” James stood up
“Yeah sure,”
“Grab the bag and I will grab the tent,” James instructed
“Ok,” I smiled
We are on the move we have said that it would be easier if we did not talk at all today unless we have to, and it is going quite well. I just pulled a chocolate bar out of my pocket.
“Hey is that mine?”
“No it is mine,”
“But you said that you had run out of food.
“Yeah, but I did have an emergency bag full of chocolate and dry socks just in case,” I lied
“You liar,” He shouted
”No, now let’s not get into any arguments about the chocolate,”
“Calm,”
“Yes that’s right calm,” I agreed
I think he has anger management problems. He shout’s if he ever gets the chance. To be quite honest I think that we have failed our plan to not have an argument all day. I don’t think that it is humanly possible to not have an argument between James and I, we will just have to live with it.
“James,” I said
“Yes,” he said
“I think that we should scrap the idea of not arguing for the whole day partly because of the fact that it is impossible to do it,” I suggested
“I think that we should camp up for the night,” he replied
“Yeah, ok,”
We are managing not to fight when we are putting up the tent and believe me, this, is an achievement.
“Good night,”
He is already asleep. That’s good.
Chapter 6
“Can you check the navigation this morning and see how far we are away from our destination?,” I asked
“Yeah, ok. When, I really want to find out where we are. You know that we have not got much battery left on it,” he said
“Yeah, I know that, when are we going to use it,” I asked
“At lunch time,” he stated
“Why? If we are going in totally the wrong direction then, we will have to walk all the way back the distance that we will walk this morning,” I moaned.
“You can check the map if you like,” he suggested
“It is so unclear,” I said
He does not understand that I do not really, want to be walking back to where we are now this afternoon. We do not have enough food and supplies to waste a whole day going round in circles.
“Can we just start walking then, and don’t you dare blame me if we are going in the wrong direction, because I am likely to throttle you,” I threatened
“Is it lunch time yet?,” I asked
“No it is only ten o’clock,”
“When is lunch time?”
“About one o’clock,”
“What, but that means that we could have covered a lot of ground by then,”
“I know, but we are not going in the wrong direction,” he assured me.
“And you know this do you?”
“No, not really,”
“Meaning that there is a chance that we are going totally the wrong direction,”
“Yes, ok, you win, but now can you just shut up,”
“Ok,” I grumbled
Is it me or is he trying to avoid me, he just wants me to shut up on a constant basis. My feet really do hurt in these boots. I think they make them so that they hurt. They are just so uncomfortable.
“Do your feet hurt?,” I asked.
“Yes, actually they do,”
“I was just checking if I am not the only one,”
“Most definitely not,”
“Don’t you think that they make them hurt on purpose,”
“Maybe, or it is just our feet are so tired that they are falling to pieces,” he said.
“I doubt it, it is definitely the shoes,” I said.
This is amazing it is the first time ever that we have agreed on something, even if it was about a negative thing. I reckon that we could keep this up, if we tried. However the chances of him ever agreeing with me ever again are slim.
“You know what just happened there?,” I asked.
“No, what?”
“We just agreed on something,”
“I know, and,”
“That has never happened before,”
“Yes it has. Hang on that hasn’t ever happened you are right,”
“You just agreed with me again,” I stated
“Yeah, it really is not that hard,”
“We could even agree if we do not think that it is right,” I said excitedly
“No,” he disagreed
Maybe I took it too far there, he is right, that is impossible.
“What time is it?,” I asked
“About, twelve thirty,”
“Can we have lunch early, I am hungry,”
“Ok,” he replied
We ate lunch in silence
“That was actually ok, you know the food,” I said as I finished
“Let’s check the navigation system,” he said
“Right,”
“We are now about 50 miles from helicopterVwhere are meant to be, meaning that we will be there in about 5 day’s helicopterif the weather is good, which is unlikely,” I said
“No not necessarily,” he replied
,,” I said
,”
I think.
,” I confirm
Y.
,” James strode off confidently.
JamesI would start being me again because it is weird being James.
,does it,” I queried
Y,,,”
T, ,”
He handed me the navigator.
Ok,u ,,” he said
,,Valder.a
6,”
,” James said
tired,” I demanded
,” James opposed.
now r’,”
,”
,” I groaned
,”
We turned off the torch.
.HJw,.B
,” James screamed
.I,”
,” James asked
,?
,”
,”
,” I said
I can’t believe that he expects me to go out there and risk my life for him, if he really thinks that, he has got another thing coming.
scared?,” He asked
Nparticularly,” I replied, Yes I am very scared and so is he, he looks as white as a sheet
Y,” James said
you don’t?,” I suggested.
,” James said curling down further into his sleeping bag.
,” I tormented
,,”
,” I agreed
?,” I decided
,”
’,” I said
,” James handed me a billycan
,” I said
,”
Of course they do, t,” I said
,” James said
I thought. W. James has gone out first and his face looks very frightened, he is speechless and he is not moving, I am just following him now. Oh my gosh, it is a baby polar bear it has got big teeth but it looks quite cute I start to relax.
“It’s ok it is a baby polar,” I said.
quickly,”
“Run!”
About two miles on we were still walking away from the polar bears that had chased us from the last camp site.
,” James said
,”
“Yeah, I was really sacred,” James said frantically
“I did not really see what you did to scare them away,” I asked
“I just turned around and they ran away,”
“Maybe it was the shock of your face that scared them away,” I joked.
“That is really nice I can’t believe that you, ah,” he realized I was kidding.
“It does not really matter we are now safe and that is all that matters,”
“You actually do care about me,” James said
“I suppose, just a bit,”
“Well know that is sorted out, let’s get moving,”
“Yeah, ok,”
We moved on amicably for the first time
Chapter 9
“How many more days until we get back to base,”I asked.
“What including the ice caves, or…,” He stammered to a stop as he tripped over a piece of ice.
“You remembered where we were going!,” I exclaimed
“Yes, I knew all along,” he said in a rather annoying voice.
“But when I asked you where we were going you said that you did not know,” I was really puzzled.
“No, I was answering another question,”
“Well I did not ask you any other question,”
“No, that’s right I was doing a check list of all the things that I had in my bag, and I did not have my binoculars,” he answered
“Right, anyway, what is this place like that we are going to?,” I asked
“Well there is said to be a lot of things that have been frozen solid,” he is not helping me.
“Like what?”
“Mainly animals, but we are looking for a distant relative of you,” he joked.
“What is it?,” I asked
“It is basically a cave man with no brain,” he said innocently
“That was a bit harsh; I never said that to you,”
“No your right, you said much worse,” he said quickly
“Anyway, going back to the original question, how long until we get to the ice cave,” I asked for the second time
“Only tomorrow and we should be there by the evening so that we can spend the whole of the next day looking for that relative of yours,”
He had quite a smug grin on his face and looked like he was about to laugh, he was obviously in a very good mood.
“How many more miles have we got to walk today,” I asked
“Probably another five,”
“Ok, no more talking, we have got to get on with this walking,”
Chapter 10
This is our last day of walking, I think, and I can’t wait until it’s over but I am in a very good mood this morning, so it shouldn’t be too bad.
“Right, are we going to have a really nice breakfast this morning, as it is our last day,” I asked happily
“No, we will have a really nice breakfast when we get back to Valder,” he said as if he did not want a nice breakfast.
“How many more miles have we got until we get to the caves?,” I questioned.
“About five,”
“But you said that we would cover 10 miles a day,” I am very puzzled, or I am just being stupid.
“I know, but we have covered just over that every day, and so we only have five,”
“Well that’s good!,” I exclaimed
“We should be there at about lunch time,”
“So we can have a look around the caves before we go to bed?”
“Yes, but not for very long because it will get dark,” he said in a very serious tone of voice.
I can’t wait to get there it is going to be great fun looking for James’ ancestors.
“It is going to be great fun, do we have to move the cave man if we find him,”
“Are we going to start the test on the cave man today?,” I asked, hoping that the answer would be yes.
“Well, only if we can find it,” he said
“What sort of tests do we have to do on it?,” I am asking a lot of questions at the moment.
“We don’t have to do test as such; we have to do things like, taking pictures and taking bone and bone marrow, this will help us to find out what it ate and most of the other things about it,”
“How long will this take?,” I asked
“Probably a whole day,”
“Why?”
“Because we have got to do a lot of measurements and a few tests on site,” he answered
“Have we got to carry a lot to the helicopter?”
“No just sheets of paper and few tubes which are full,”
“This is very exciting,” I said
“Well at least you are excited about it,”
“Aren’t you?”
“Yes but I am looking forward to seeing my family again,”
“I am looking forward to that too,”
“Yeah but I would rather see them than go to the caves,”
“But that is what we have come all this way for, there is no point in coming if you are not excited about thing that we have come all this way for,”
“No your right, lets be excited,”
“I already am,” I said
Chapter 11
“It’s a shame that we did not get to the caves yesterday,” I said
“Yeah, but today we have got a lot of work to do, so lets get moving,” James said
“Have you got the pad of paper and the sampling tubes?”
“Yes, can we get moving now?,” I asked
“Yes definitely, let’s go and look for that cave man,”
“No wait…,” I shouted
“What have you forgotten?,” he asked as if I was an idiot.
“The food,”
“Oh, yeah,” he said when he realized that he was being stupid.
“Where are we going to find this cave man?”
“That’s the problem,” he said
“Can’t we use some sort of tracking device,” I queried
“What to pick up the ice around the body,”
“Obviously not,”
“We have to look manually,”
“Does it transmit heat?”
“No it is probably dead, after being frozen in a cave for a few million years,”
“Ok, I was being stupid, can we move on now?”
“Let’s go,”
It is quite dark in here but it is really cool, the sun just shines through, so you can see right up into the ice, it is beautiful.
“I just saw a mammoth,”
“Where?”
“You are very gullible,”
“Well it is possible,”
“What are the chances, in fact what the chances of finding this cave man are?”
“Well there have been references of people that have found this thing, but no planes or anything can land in this area which is why we have to walk to a helicopter, about 15 miles from here,”
There are hundreds of tunnels that lead to no where, it is like a labyrinth, and to think, it as all made by mother earth. No man made caverns.
I wish that I could see john and bob again today; it would give me the extra boost that I need to go on. I think that James and I have become a lot closer in the last four weeks of our journey, there don’t seem to be as many arguments as there were before. I think that both of our personalities have changed as well, I have become a lot more relaxed and I have learnt not to be so against james, and I think that James has shown him self to be quite civil. I have noticed that James has changed his socks today what an occasion.
The ice is like a crystal, I can see rainbows in it. I wish that we could find this ape man; we have been looking for about half an hour.
“How long could it take to find this man?,” I asked
“Any thing up to five hours,” James replied
That is very annoying, I can’t wait to have break.
“James, there’s a tunnel that we haven’t looked through yet,”
He must be blind he can’t even see something that is right in front of him. It is very dark in here and there is a lot of crunching ice under foot. I don’t think that there will be a big hairy ape man in here. But wait I can see a light over there, and something that sounds like voices.
“James, I think that we should go towards the light, it is our best bet,”
“I agree, let’s go,”
There is still a lot crunching under my feet. Hang on, that is definitely voices, and the light is moving towards us. There is a massive wall of ice between us and the light.
“I think that we should smash the ice,” I said
“Ok, get the picks out, it doesn’t look that thick,”
We have just made a little hole in the ice.
“James we don’t want this wall to fall down so we only need a little hole that we can just get though other wise the whole place could fall,” I said feeling very concerned
“Is that big enough?,” James asked
I am climbing through the hole, it is a bit small but it is big enough for me.
“James, there is two people up there; they are looking for some thing,” I shouted
“Go and get them while I get through here,”
“Hey you there, James its Bob and John, and they have found the ape man,” I shouted happily.
“How did you get here?,” James asked
“Well basically, the helicopter that is going to collect you was leaving from Valder to get there and so we asked if we could have a lift with the helicopter in order to get over here,” Explained Bob
I am really happy that they are both here this is the moment that I have been hoping for ever since they left, contact with the outside world, this is a great day.
We are still chatting about how they got here and we have not done sampling of the ape man at all. The ape man looks very weird, it has got a very big and hairy face, in fact it has got hair all over its body and it has got in its hand a little bow and arrow. It is amazing that it has been preserved so amazingly well, I wonder ho it ended up like this.
“Bob, how do you think that this ape man is so well preserved?”
“It was probably at the end of a glacier in the last ice age and it and the ice started to melt and he was drowned in the water and when it froze again he was preserved in his ice coffin,”
That is really cool, I have changed my mind on James again, I think that he should have been consumed by the ice because he is still chatting about nothing in particular and he is really getting on my nerves. I am going to have to intervene he is never going stop talking.
“John, can we get on with experiment?,” I asked
“Yes lets get on,” he said
That was a very successful, he is not talking anymore, he must have got bored. I am still thinking about the cave man and now we are getting on with taking the rest of the data. At the moment we inserting a syringe to sample the bone marrow, and James are just walking around staring into space, Bob has just asked to come and help, well done Bob.
Chapter 12
We have finished all of the tests that we need to do on the ape man and we are on our way to the helicopter, it will take us another day to get there completely and so we are going to spend the night o the snow. I have made a deal with James and bob that I would sleep in my brothers’ tent; however Bob does not want to sleep in the tent with James and so Bob and I are going to share and brother will be with James, but only for chocolate. Now that is sorted we have to get on with the walking, because we want to get at least five miles done today so we don’t have to walk ten tomorrow. After coming out of those caves the ice and snow does not seem so boring anymore.
We have stopped to have some food and in another two hours we are going to bed because we need to get ready to go out.
“Is it time to go to bed now because we must have been walked five miles by now,”
“Yes we will stop now and go to bed,” Said bob
I can’t wait until the morning and until the gang goes on another adventure like this but maybe to the Sahara.