“Who said I was lonely?” replied Alana sharply, the comment had obviously struck a chord but Sophie chose to ignore it. Sophie had always admired Alana for her independence, yet had completely different views to her, particularly in the matter of love.
“Just because I’m not about to get married doesn’t make me lonely. I can have all the male companionship I want, but what will it actually mean?”
“You might just find the perfect partner Alana”, said Sophie purposely waving her hand to show off her sparkling engagement ring.
“Don’t be so corny,” answered Alana. “ Really Sophie, people go on and on about love as though it’s something magical, but in reality it fails to so much as exist. It’s just something that humans made up to add some possible meaning to their raging hormones”.
“Why do you have to be so cynical?” said Sophie almost looking hurt. “Of course there is a magical feeling to it!”
“Well if you think about it, all we really are is a bunch of walking organisms. There’s nothing ‘magical’ about that,” said Alana. “I’m sorry to have to offend you Sophie, but people don’t require ‘love’ as a necessity for survival. They made that up on their own”.
“Well what would something like marriage mean then, why would people bother with all the documents, preparation and everything else if they didn’t think they were going to spend the rest of their lives with that person?” asked Sophie.
“People who get married are those who can successfully lie to themselves. When James says he loves you, what makes you so sure he’s telling the truth?” said Alana.
“I guess it’s something heartfelt”, replied Sophie, quite sure of herself.
“Well, considering that your heart is a blood pumping muscle, I’d go and have that so called ‘feeling’ checked out by a doctor”, said Alana in a somewhat exasperated yet amused tone of voice. Sophie was offended by Alana’s comments, and she made an excuse to leave.
“Well, I should get back to work. I’ll see you here at the same time tomorrow”, she said, and with that she put the strap of her handbag over her shoulder and walked out.
Sophie had been thinking about what Alana had said for the rest of the day. Her focus was far away from her work, and she did nothing but sit at her desk and gaze out of the window of her office. As bitter as Alana had sounded, her thoughts on the practicalities of love had some truth to them. What really did make her think that James loved her? What exactly was the “something” that she couldn’t explain, yet was sure she felt?
On her way home, Sophie sat on the train, her heartfelt emotions taking over, and she was hardly able to wait to see James after the day that she just had. She always looked forward to seeing him. She stared at her ring and seeing the diamonds sparkle in the light and reflect all the colours of the rainbow she was now able to ignore what Alana had said to her earlier. She didn’t need physical proof to know that she was being loved.
Sophie opened the door, and found James on the sofa. She dropped her belongings, ran towards him and threw her arms around him. He felt warm and comforting to her. They stayed there watching TV and Sophie gazed at him lovingly for most of the time. She felt incredibly lucky knowing him and being with him. A little while later, James got up to go to the bathroom. Sophie flicked through the channels, but found nothing that interested her. Her mind wandered, and it was then that she remembered that she had a meeting during her lunch hour the next day, and that she had to cancel her arrangements with Alana. She picked up the phone at the bottom of the stairs, and was just about ready to punch in the digits, when she realised that someone was using the line. James was using the phone upstairs but the other voice was Alana’s!
“When are you going to tell her James?” she demanded.
“Soon, but not now Alana”, said James.
“Don’t you understand that I have to see her every day? I’m serious. Finish it with her” demanded Alana. “I’m tired of hearing her go on about how much you love her when you’re actually in love with me!” Sophie had a blank expression on her face, but could feel the heaviness of the frown in her eyebrows. Her mouth was wide in a silent scream that echoed around her mind. The shock she felt kept a plug on the pain. The two people who meant most to her in her life, were capable of this? Love is one of those things that you just can’t see, like trust. She knew she had to get away from it all, from the pain of being stabbed in the back, the tears of grief and sorrow, and the anger that engulfed her. Sophie slammed the phone down, and ran towards the door. She heard James yell her name, but ignored him; she couldn’t face him anymore. Five minutes ago he was all she wanted to be with, now she had to escape him. She ran out with no coat, barefoot in the rain. Tears were running down her face but the rain washed away the traces. She was immersed in water and gasping for breath.
James ran out of the open door, desperately trying to find his fiancé. The rain was falling hard on his face and blurring his vision, but he continued running. He needed to get to her, to explain to her, to stop her. He had an idea of where she might have gone. There was a small bridge nearby where they used to meet in the early stages of their relationship when love was newly exciting, not a foolish memory. That bridge carried significance to her. He stopped at the foot of the bridge, exhausted and out of breath. He yelled her name again, and glanced over to the other end. The dead end was becoming more visible as he was walking across. Perhaps his hunch had failed him. Maybe she had gone in the opposite direction. James felt the panic wash over him, what was he going to do? He turned back, feeling no real remorse but responsibility for her pain, until he noticed a small sparkle on the handrail of the bridge. It was Sophie’s ring. James looked over the rail, took a long breath, and shut his eyes. Where had Sophie’s undeniable love taken her?
Her body floated rocking slowly in the dark water. James, disbelieving just stood and watched. The face of his fiancé immersed in darkness stared at him, almost punishing him. Her eyes were soulless, lifeless, almost like he felt. The guilt was driving him insane, but he couldn’t yet grasp the fact that she was gone, forever.
