• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

>>Lets Talk About Sex

Extracts from this document...


>>Lets Talk About Sex... Tuesday, and i pace up and down the bar of my small-town, backalley pub, pondering over the massively daunting task set before me. A 1500 word text, written to entertain..... Entertain you say? sounds like a challenge.... A couple of hours pass and i've had no progress. Still behind the bar, still waiting for a customer to lighten up my day and still pondering over what the genre and form of my text are going to be. A sonnet perhaps? Lyrics? ... An article? Its going to be one of those nights. Suddenly, like a chicken in a slaughter house that just realised its purpose in life, I have a twist of randomness... Let's go get laid... Through online dating... And write about it! With my new plan in mind, i get home after work and kick start my computer. I whack 'Online Dating Agencies' into the google search bar and hit the button. 'Displaying 1-25 of 3,566,001 results,' crap. Something tells me a different approach is needed. Feeling a need for a more refined result, i do the same search in the guardian online's archive search . . . Bingo! An article by regular writer Charlotte Hamilton tells me that online dating is fast becomming more of a big bang than a boom, with the market now worth 'in excess of �600M in the UK alone'. ...read more.


Then i chose a good photo, spent 15 minutes attempting to work out how to get the bloody thing online, and voila! im officially "SAD!". >>Dude Looks Like A Lady.... What do you get if you cross half a tonne of unrefined lard with Margaret Thatcher??! My first contact, that's what. Its Monday morning, I've just got out of bed after 4 hours worth of sleep, wiped my eyes and done the 3 S's (Shit, Shower, Shave). Log on to dating direct and nearly jump for joy! 'One new message received'! However, there's just one major problem. 'In order to read your message, you must first become one of our many Premier Members. Our Premier Members get all the best of.......' And so on. In the name of research, I key in my card details and submit myself to hundreds of SPAM mailing lists and crappy letters through my door. My newfound friend is named Sarah, according to the post on my message board she's '20, blonde and well shaped. A bit of a Nymphomaniac and always up for anything!' and she invites me to take a look at her profile. Click the link and..... Holy Crap! She's Huge! Maybe I should take things into my own hands. >> Pick A Date, Any Date.... Tuesday, and after the usual half arsed day of college, I return home with my heart set on a mission: To find myself a date who does not have to turn sideways to fit through my bedroom door. ...read more.


That's Kerry. "Arrw, you're so sweet! Can't believe you own a spice girls album!" Some random person who likes to talk rubbish. Honest. I pick the two i like the sound of most, and arrange to meet up. After a few minor teething problems (one major flaw of the website is that links can lead you just about anywhere, not necessarily where they say they'll lead you), we confirm a date in Nottingham in a weeks time. >> One week (and a bit) later.... DatingDirect.com got me laid. Twice. In one week. So, Can We get laid through online dating? Damn straight we can! But is it worth it? After paying �24.99 I was lucky to get some responses in the first month. If I hadn't, I could of ended up paying similar amounts every month. They also charge for placing pictures on your profile. Not only that but sign up and expect spam to invade your inbox like America going to war with.... well.... anyone. At the end of the day though, is it really worth spending all that time infront of your monitor and spending all that money?. It really isn't difficult to pull in a bar if you know what you're doing and you are confident about it. My advice? Get a girlfriend and get laid every night! Otherwise, Stick to the clubs, and stick to the bar. Stick to eying up that hotty at the other end of the dance-floor, and when she comes up to buy a drink, stick to not asking her if she 'comes here often'. MS ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our AS and A Level Internet section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related AS and A Level Internet essays

  1. In assessing the competitive position of a large online trader, we would use the ...

    These two factors led to the high number of internet users in those countries. Moreover, the countries that had high number of internet users tended to be the potential of e-retail market. Growth of internet users also increase steadily, as shown in "Internet User's History", from 16 million users in December 1995 to 812 million in October 2004.

  2. Online dating services - review

    size and business models to establish a basis for comparing this industry to the characteristics of networked industries. Online dating services are simply websites that carry a database of singles for other singles to search. Typically users can visit the site and search based on sex, age and often certain

  1. Design and create a website for a company of my choice. I have decided ...

    spreadsheet Validation checks working Validation checks working correctly on description column Incorrect data entered into spreadsheet Validation checks working. Validation checks working correctly on amount in stock column Incorrect data entered into spreadsheet Validation checks working Validation checks working correctly on selling price column Incorrect data entered into spreadsheet Validation checks working.

  2. Shopping online

    Cuts down on overheads and administrative costs (sales staff, shop space) Enhancing customer service and increasing customer loyalty (adding convenience) Gaining a better understanding of your customers buying patterns and tailoring your products and services to suit customer demands. Makes it possible to compete on a more level playing field with larger companies.

  1. Setting up a good video shop.

    Thus the issue of' copy depth' - rental stores having enough copies to meet demand - is as relevant as ever. � While one leading retailer says the number of rentals is heading down, distributors are shipping videos and DVDs at record levels.

  2. Business Plan - CoViTek is an Atlanta based company that offers a unique value ...

    They have developed a profit sharing system with the major production companies requiring no initial investment in the videos, but agreeing to give 40% of the revenue generated by the rentals to the producer of the movie. We believe that this profit sharing system is financially unattractive, although it will

  1. Many Swedish newspapers publish all or parts of their articles and advertisements on the ...

    4 Internet newspapers with help from Internet suppliers provide spatial convenience since one does not have to go anywhere to buy a newspaper. The waiting/delivery time of news can be decreased since news on the Internet can be updated continuously.

  2. Whom Willa Cather is and where I should begin searching for my topic. ...

    One could say I am a movie person or more visual learner, so I like to picture everything I read in my head like a movie. Putting faces to names, and places to settings helps me to understand the story better and that was one goal of my research.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work