Quelles sont les principales causes de la pollution en France ? Comment ragissent les Franais cette pollution ? Que pensez-vous leurs ractions ?

Review of essay

Rating: 5 star(s)

Response to the question

This is an outstanding piece of work of very high quality – the student answers the question thoroughly and explicitly – with a high level of analysis throughout. Background information into the problems of pollution in France is given to set the scene to the reader, and demonstrate knowledge of the topic area, e.g. “En moyen, chaque personne française produit 6.3 tonnes de CO2 en 2004, en comparaison avec 4 tonnes mondial”. It is also good to see the student consider many types of pollution (la pollution de l’air, les déchets et la pollution de la mer) rather than focusing on only one example as it provides a well-rounded argument in response to the question. Clear examples are provided regarding how the French react to pollution, for example, “En ville, sans ma voiture!” and “le compostage”, highlighting that the student has researched the topic thoroughly. What is particularly nice is the comparison of France with other countries (“à la journée sans voitures en 2006 n’était pas aussi bien qu’aux autres pays européenne, comme l’Espagne, où 45% de la population ont pu participer”), as it shows confidence in their knowledge and ability to include alternative information in a relevant manner.

Level of analysis

The level of analysis is strong throughout, following a good guideline of ‘example-definition-analysis’ in each paragraph – the second paragraph is a nice example of this structure (example = air pollution, definition of what this is and what causes it, analysis = how this is a problem for the French, e.g. les inondations, la couche d’ozone). As requested in the question, the student provides some brilliant personal insights and opinions on the topic, but does not let this dominate the essay which is important as it must remain professional (not ‘I think this.. ‘I think that.. the whole time !). A brilliant demonstration of this is where the student provides their opinion, and then demonstrates the ability to objectively show the other side of the argument – “Cependant, il y a beaucoup de gens qui ne sont pas d’accord, pour raisons de sécurité”.

Both the introduction and the conclusion are sound; introductions are important since they provide the first impressions of the entire essay, they should therefore set the scene (“La pollution en France est à un niveau sans precedent”) and give insight into what will be discussed as demonstrated by the sentence here “Je vais examiner ces trois types de pollution en France…”. Furthermore, the student finishes with a clear, concise, and personalised conclusion. This is important since it shows the student’s ability to synthesize all the information discussed, and to add their own critical views on the subject rather than just relying on reproducing facts and figures. Providing personal insight into a topic is a marker of a high quality essay and can also indicate the student’s level of understanding of the work they have produced – “Donc Je crois qu’en général, la réaction des Français à cette pollution est très variée”…. “il y a des bonnes idées, mais il faut qu’ils fassent plus dans toute la France”.

Quality of writing

There are only a very minor number of grammatical problems within this essay, generally the written language is of high quality and includes a number of complex sentence constructions which demonstrates good understanding of the French language, and the ability to be creative with their writing, both signs of a 5 star essay. A couple of brilliant examples are: “Donc il me semble que le gouvernement devrait être plus strict”, “Ce système semble très sévère, mais j’estime qu’il faut être plus strict pour avoir les résultats plus efficaces” (both complex grammatical constructions) and “le problème de pollution de la production d’énergie est un véritable casse-tête” (very original).