‘’..offer a basic posture of involvement. It usually says ‘’I’m here with you, I’m available to you.’’ (Egan, 1998)
As we entered the beginning stage, I attempted to establish a working relationship between myself and the client, firstly thanking them for agreeing to participate and formally telling them that I was not a trained counsellor, instead using counselling skills in a counselling type situation. I assured their complete confidentiality, explaining that all identifying references to themselves or their significant others would be changed or omitted. I explained the use of an alias and my subject became Lee, a 37 year old male from the West Midlands area.
To enhance the dynamic of our working relationship I briefly explained the Egan Model of therapy, its structure and potential aims. However I felt that upon reflection, that this confused, rather than highlighted the positives of the technique. Although it did not appear to hamper Lee’s willingness to participate, I did sense that Lee perhaps felt more under pressure to ‘perform’ at this stage. We also agreed upon a ‘contract to counsel,’ under-lining the expectation that counselling was being offered in a formal capacity, and ensuring that Lee knew what was involved for him as a client. This referred to;
‘’in terms of what clients want to achieve and what you are prepared to offer….contracts are important in establishing the foci for the work..’’ (Culley, 1991)
As we entered the ‘story’ stage, I adopted an open posture and became very conscious of my own presence and body language. The atmosphere between us suddenly becoming quite formal, almost contrived as if I was being fake, and felt the client could see this. This sudden heightened state of self awareness made me less confident and for the first few moments as Lee began to speak I felt overwhelmed, mentally speculating that ‘’this is beyond me.’’ I struggled to suddenly use a combination of skills altogether, active listening, appropriate open questioning as well as follow the Egan model and take notes.
According to Tyler (1969) and Gilmore (1973) an effective counselling relationship will be underlined by the core qualities of acceptance and unconditional positive regard, similar to Rogers (1961) three core conditions. (Culley, 1991) I attempted to utilise these elements right from the start of the session.
‘’Clients may experience a variety of emotions at the prospect of discussing what concerns them. For example they may feel ashamed, fearful or embarrassed.’’ (Culley, 1991)
Initially, Lee talked about his early life; he seemed to want to firstly focus on events that had happened in his youth that he believed contributed to his present state of mind. He described the effect bad acne had taken upon his confidence and described an incidence of a humiliating mugging at the hands of older boys. At this stage his body language was extremely negative, his eyes were lowered, arms folded, at times failing to control involuntary knee jerks. The core conditions of unconditional positive regard and empathy came into effect as he detailed the pain and self loathing that came with criticism from female peers, making his insecurities and low self esteem more apparent.
During this time I struggled to actively listen to Lee, attempting to gain advanced empathy. (Hough, 2002).However, I found it mentally tiring to constantly project the SOLER principle, yet still annotate critical moments down on paper, highlighting my inexperience in the role of counsellor.
As Lee’s story progressed, I became aware that Lee felt that he had a somewhat complicated emotional life, with multiple issues leading up to his present situation, these incidences tending to come out in rushes of words. I realised that learning to prioritise and focus on one issue at a time could be one of Lee’s valued outcomes. He described periods of multiple pressure ‘hot spots’ all seeming to activate simultaneously, leading him to confusion, depression, and in extreme incidences, panic attacks, further dehabilitating him mental and physically. I also realised at this stage that helping Lee to focus better on issues of concern would be advantageous.
‘’…prioritising without adequate exploration is likely to be ineffective. Exploration is likely to be inhibited if clients do not feel accepted and understood.’’ (Culley, 1991)
I then attempted to uncover blind spots and gain leverage into Lee’s situation by asking him open questions e.g. ‘’How did that make you feel?’’ and ‘’Give me examples.’’ I tried to actively listen to Lee and to be present psychologically, socially and emotionally, (Egan 1998) as he described some positive emotions at times, especially relating to the stability and security of his job, and the relief over the decision to terminate his relationship, increasing his confidence and self esteem. Incorporating micro-skills, I tried not only to understand and interpret Lee’s verbal messages but also his non-verbal behaviours, which has relaxed as we moved deeper into his story. His arms had uncrossed and eye contact had improved. I felt at this stage I had entered an advanced empathy stage and tried to enhance this by asking myself ‘’what are the core messages here?’’ and ‘’What is important to Lee right now?,’ symbolising my new connection with Lee and his world as he saw it. (Egan, 1998_
It became clear as we entered stage 2 of the model that Lee craved stability, and reduced pressure - using the term ‘pressure cooker’ to describe his emotional state at times, especially when external multiple demands were made upon his time. I discovered that Lee had recently come to terms with a close family bereavement which had depressed and isolated him still further. The breakdown of his relationship and the imminent sale of his house had appeared to have resulted in Lee losing direction and he highlighted to me a lack of understanding from those close to him, heightening his emotions.
In session two we decided to look at possibilities for Lee, and to attempt to turn them into choices. (Egan, 1998) Upon reflection this was not the best place to start as the atmosphere initially had lost the rapport forged by unconditional positive regard and effective listening, which led to us back tracking over previously covered points in order to effectively continue.
As we examined the possibility of reducing the ‘pressure cooker’ effect upon Lee, his non-verbal posture became more animated, leaning forward towards me, mimicking my SOLER. Also he began playing with his fingers as he spoke and increasing eye contact, showing a subconscious awareness of advanced empathy and therefore signifying a critical point in the session. Lee had now recognised that choices could be made from his reflections, identifying himself those core areas that he felt he needed to change. These were to reduce pressure from outside influences regarding the house move, accepting a lack of empathy from those around him at times and compartmentalising that notion realistically, and the understanding that he performs better when being proactive rather than passive.
As Lee prioritised, I attempted to portray his wants as potential valued outcomes rather than just activities and also to make them attainable, specific, realistic and flexible. (Egan, 1998) We agreed that one problem should be dealt with at a time and speculated that the most immediate area to concentrate on was the completion of his house sale. At this commitment stage, Lee’s body language once again became defensive, further signifying that extra pressure provoked a negative internal response. However, this posture changed back again to relaxed, when he acknowledged that being proactive and clearing the house had made him feel better and he committed to ‘no longer delay clearing the rest.’ This was a smarter outcome for Lee, especially appealing by its immediate viability as he saw the house as being a major cause of his anxiety and depression. Other ‘best fit’ commitments were to take problems one at a time and the acceptance that it is ok to say no in times of conflict.
Upon reflection I feel that this experience gave me a working insight into both the internal and external pressures a helper faces when counselling a client. I was surprised by how mentally drained I felt after both sessions, trying to incorporate the three core conditions along with micro-skills and uphold the SOLER technique at the same time. External barriers were my note taking efforts which I felt distracted my listening and at times I dipped in and out of empathy as I temporarily lost hold of the current theme, and back tracking was hard.
I asked Lee to write me an honest review of the session the following day (see appendice 2) so I could reflect upon my performance. I received positive comments, however it was noted that I gave my opinion on what was best for him at times, rather than to allow him to gain his own insight with guidance. I realised from this that I had unwittingly let my own personality and value base undermine unconditional positive regard and empathy, a definite covert pitfall when attempting a counsellor role.
I now feel that the counselling process is more complex and sensitive than I had expected, but was surprised by how the structure of the Egan Model had performed, highlighting problems and seeking smart outcomes almost like a recipe. Because of its ease of use, I would definitely consider using it again.
