Armenian families are not like oranges they are more like peaches. The two juicy and the most powerful

Simple Jokes on Serious Issues

Introduction

“If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable - each segment distinct.” Letty Cottin Pogrebin

So I fully agree with this quotation that a family is a unity of different members and every person in this united circle has a right to decide on his/her lifestyle though this orange rule never works in the Armenian families. Armenian families are not like oranges they are more like peaches. The two juicy and the most powerful parts of the peach are the parents who govern over the seed, i.e. the child, which remains inside until we eat the peach. As soon as the peach is eaten the seed is freed.

The purpose of my presentation is to let everybody know in this international audience what the traditional process of upbringing is like in the Armenian reality, what stages it passes and how it results in our society. Today I am going to present you what is a child for us, Armenians, what is a teen and young adult, and what is marriage. So let’s get started.

Body

Childhood

Children are the center of the attention. They are raised mainly by their mother, but also by their grandmother and aunts. At birth, children receive gifts, mainly jewellery (holly crosses, gold medallions, etc). The first male child often is named after his grandfather; the same may go for the first female child. The Armenian mothers closely watch and constantly provide care/food to their children. Feeding a boy with his favorite dish is important; he needs strength to grow. At his birthday, he will receive cars, trucks and construction blocks. His entire attention is focused on male-restricted tasks. A little girl will of course receive dolls. She will be taught to sew or knit dresses for the doll. She will play house, a role she is destined to take in the future. Sexual education is absolutely out of the question. Children are taught to behave; otherwise they will be taken to the doctor or the dentist and will get an injection!

Teens

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Teens

The most important thing teenage girls learn, is their boundaries. They can't go to someone's house without getting permission from a parent. No sleepovers. Girls should not become friendly with guys. Did you say dating? Parents will be furious! Going to a party? After investigating and weeks of negotiations, we may allow you to go; but we drop you off, we stick around, and we pick you up. A lot of families keep a very tight control on their teenage daughters, while the boys can do as they please, go where they want and even take the car… Teenage girls are invited to participate in household tasks, taking care of younger siblings, and get praised for doing so, especially if they've cleaned their brother's room! Teenage boys come in hungry from school and expect food to be ready and hot. They are taught to be entirely dependent on females for everyday activities: they will never learn to cook, do the dishes, do the laundry, buy their own underwear or go for groceries. Sexual education is provided by the television shows; no need to discuss any such forbidden subjects.

Young Adults

Finding work is an important issue, especially for men. Young adults live at their parents' home until marriage. Dating is permitted and encouraged by parents if the date fills the criteria: Armenian origin, "good family", "serious", thinking about marriage. Short-term relationships are discouraged. The "no sleepovers" law is still in effect. However, young adults can get away thanks to weekend trips organized by student/youth associations. At this stage, the mother can become more permissive than the father and can act as a negotiator in order to obtain permission from father. A young woman cannot confide in her father for her personal problems.

Marriage

The goal of every Armenian young adult must be to get married and have children. Pressure becomes noticeable around young couples who have been dating for a while. In many families, the ancient tradition of looking for a wife still prevails. The mother/aunt of a single young man may see a young woman (at a hairdresser) that fits her criteria (beautiful and respectful, not too modern); she then manages to invite herself and the man to the girl's house. Of course, the girl's family knows the goal of the visit; the girl will serve coffee; she will be judged on her grace; the guy will talk about his future projects for work; he will be judged on his potential as a main source of income; then the visitors leave. If the guy liked the girl, he will call her father and ask for a permission to see her; the girl has the right to refuse, but is not encouraged to do so unless she has a valid reason (I still haven't figured out what a valid reason could be).

Conclusion

So I have spoken quite a lot about the stages Armenian children pass or, better; have to pass during their first steps into a big life. Summarizing I want to confess honestly that, of course, some of my points were exaggerated and outdated and were not true to nowadays life in Yerevan, but when speaking about other cities and villages of Armenia all I have said quite often reflects the reality. It is a big Armenian tradition to bring up their children in a way their ancestors did hundreds years ago. So it is already time to make the traditional behaviors a little bit modern. Of course, traditions can’t and shouldn’t be removed, but our attitude towards our children can and should be reconsidered.

“We should be the change we want to see.” Mahatma Gandhi

Changing anything is not easy, it is not even enjoyable sometimes, but the results are the fruits of the trees you yourself have planted. If we want to eat a tasty and juicy fruit then we have to put our heart and soul in it. That way, if we start planting the seeds of change now, may be later the humanity will thank us for our gorgeous hearts and brilliant brains.

References

Oxford Talking Dictionary, (1998) Learning Company, Inc.