Describe & Evaluate Freuds Theory Of Psychosexual Development

Review of essay

Rating: 3 star(s)

Response to the question

This essay is a very extensive survey of Freud's theory of psychosexual development, which includes the Tripartite theory, the five stages of development, the levels of consciousness in the mind, and the Oedipus and Electra complexes. The description of Freud's theory of psychosexual development is excellent and very detailed, and the candidate must be praised for this. They introduce each part of Freud's theory and explain the ways in which Freud believed it to affect personality development. However, their evaluation of the theory is a little lacking, consisting mostly of a few paragraphs at the end of the essay. It would be better if the two parts of the essay were more balanced, as marks will be awarded for demonstrating both description and evaluation skills, and therefore it is best to try to make the essay as balanced as possible, as it gives candidates the best chance of being awarded a higher grade. However, it is understandable that time constraints may mean that the second part of the essay was rushed, or the candidate failed to finish in time.

Level of analysis

The candidate's level of analysis is acceptable, but it lets the essay down a little. The candidate provides accurate and appropriate evaluation of Freud's theory of psychosexual development, however it would be better if they were to include more, as previously stated. The fact that the candidate includes both strengths and weaknesses of Freud's theory is good, and the inclusion of the example of Little Hans, one of Freud's patients, demonstrates both a good knowledge of Freud's work and initiative to include the example, suggesting this is a strong candidate. An approach which may help the candidate is to highlight or underline the key words in the question, such as "describe" and "evaluate", as this reminds them of the importance of both parts of the question, and may have prompted them to include more analysis. Candidates could also consider including short comments evaluating the points they are making as they are going along, as this may be a way to include lots of analysis fairly easily.

Quality of writing

There are some minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as missed apostrophes, spelling errors ("the four stage", not the fourth stage). The candidate could improve the flow of their essay by using a greater variety of long and short sentences; at present the essay feels a little stilted due to the frequent and concurrent use of short, simple sentences. While these criticisms may seem more appropriate for an English essay, having a mature writing style and good spelling and grammar helps to give a good impression to examiners, and it may make them mark a candidate's essay more favourably, particularly if it is on the borderline of grades. Overall, the candidate's quality of writing is fair, but it could be improved without too much work from the candidate.