Berk and bee summarised a number of factors that correlate with marital stability and quality:
Parenthood like other life events can be stressful and rewarding. In our culture it can sometimes be unexpected and there is often little preparation and support.
Whereas compared to LEDCs, the newborns are welcomed into a tight system of social support, e.g. the Amazonian Penare Indians, Nomadic Wodabe of western Sudan or Mexican Americans, where there is a ritual that lasts 40 days called la cuarntena. This is where grandmothers, friends, mother’s in law… all come and help with chores and other aspects of the mother’s usual “work”. The role of the women are seen as a central aspect of the la cuarntena, and they are seen as primary care givers, whilst the father does not have much of a role. However the mother is positive of this image, because of the financial support given and the belief that they do not think the father possess the ability to rear a child.
Parenthood in Western culture brings about major changes in life style as well as physical and emotional changes that come with being responsible for a vulnerable baby. After birth the preparenthood quality of relationship will never probably return. This is shown by studies done in the USA, Germany, Austria, and Korea by Nickel et al. However in non-western cultures, where parenthood id highly valued, the decline in marital satisfaction after children is less marked. This is because motherhood confers high status and the extended family is supportive.
Apart from the impact of parenthood in different cultures parenthood can have different impacts on men and women. Traditional roles of male and females hinder both genders in their capacity as parents - women still do most of the household and parenting tasks even when both partners work. Therefore the adjustments women have to make are greater; they have conflicting positions between being a parent and pursuing a career and have to get to grips with “mother love and “maternal instinct.”
Males may initially become more involved in practical aspects of childcare, but are less prepared than women. They may feel left out or feel they cannot meet the demands of being a provider, household help and nurturer.
Both parents have to adjust to sharing their time and affection within the family, but this can be harder for the father, especially if he is less involved in the daily care of the baby.
At the arrival of children there may be additional pressures, (especially in the early years) such as low income and high job pressure. When the children go to school parents may find themselves under greatest pressure at work, in particularly if they are competing against keen younger childless colleagues. Parents with adolescent children seem to be under even more strain. Bee suggested the happiest parents are young couples and have little finacial pressure. However 80 to 90% of parents said they were happy and becoming a parent had improved their relationship.
According to the SRRS scale divorce is the second most difficult crisis a person has to deal with. According to Bee divorce is most likely in those who marry younger or older than average, who did not have children, whose parents had an unhappy marriage, or married because of an unplanned pregnancy.
Figures of divorce have increased, this is because according to Durkin that there is increasing freedom to enter or terminate a relationships, which have led to higher and idealized expectations of what marriage should bring, and when this is not met then the divorce process sets in. It could be good for the individual and mark a long period of unhappiness over, but even if the outcome is good the event can be a huge impact on the individual and be quite traumatic.
Bohannon put forward 8 stages of divorce:
Each stage may bring a lot of emotions including persuasive feelings of failure, ambivalence towards the partner, grief, relief, loneliness and excitement. In research by Gottman, divorce was linked with an increase in physical illness, suicide, violence, homicide, suppressed immunity and mortality from diseases. It is suggested that it is during the divorce process that both individuals suffer the greatest. The scale of trauma is also associated with the length of the marriage, the age of the spouses, the number and ages of any children, who suggested the divorce and how it went.
The divorce can be much harder if there is children involved, this is because the divorcees have to deal with their children’s distress as well as their own. Also they have to take responsibility of the child on their own, which could mean discipline is not consistent with each parent and behaviour of the children could deteriorate. Contact time of the children can affect the affects of serious long-term damage. If there is frequent, satisfactory time spent with each parent with minimum disruption of the children’s lifestyle then damage to the children can be minimized.
Existing research shows there is at least two years of turmoil following divorce. In research into divorce in Israel, it was found because of their lifestyle, the legal, parenting and economical obstacles that exacerbate stress in divorce was a minor consideration. However when comparing the emotional impact of divorce it was found to be similar in all cultures. So divorce feels the same to everyone regardless of practical, maternal and cultural issues that accompany it.