Explanation of cognitive approach

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There are many approaches to explaining how personalities are developed. One of these derives from the psychodynamic model put forward by Freud. Freud’s (1920) personality theory seeked to explain how personality’s develop from individual to individual. The personality according to Freud comprised of 3 areas. The id, ego and the superego. These 3 areas together shape the development of a personality and seeing as they have roots to childhood can affect adult behaviour. The id is the primitive instinctive part of the personality and children are born with it. Children do things to produce pleasure and gratification. The ego is similar to the rational mind we possess. Children learn about the reality principle and the child accommodates to the environment. Finally the Superego is the child’s conscience and allows the child to know the difference between right and wrong. The id and superego are in constant conflict with each other. This is because the id’s primitive drive for immediate satisfaction is combated by the superego’s moral standards. Defence mechanisms are used to reduce the anxiety produced by this conflict and this can include repressing the memory as if it never happened or denying it. It is these repressed memories that can cause underlying/unconscious problems.

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The id, ego and superego all are prevalent and developed at different stages according to Freud. These stages are called the psychosexual stages and if fixated at a particular stage future adult life can be affected. The first stage is the oral stage and is where the id is produced and developed. This stage is from 0-18 months and is called the oral stage because the ids drive for pleasure and gratification is satisfied and concentrated in the mouth. Children put things in their mouths ranging from toys to their feet. Fixation can occur at any of the psychosexual stages ...

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The spelling and grammar are generally good, with very few problems which, however, could be solved from proof-reading the work once completed, as this will help rule out any unnecessary mistakes. The correct terminology is used to demonstrate the student’s knowledge of Freud’s Psychodynamic Theory (e.g. id, ego, superego, psychosexual stages, Oedipus complex, repression, fixation, and so on). An important thing to note, however, regarding the use of language is that generally whilst describing Freud’s theory, the student writes as if it were proven (e.g. As mentioned earlier the child is attracted to the opposite sex parent), I would suggest phrasing this slightly differently, for example, “According to Freud, the child is attracted to the opposite sex parent…” to ensure two things: first that you are not plagiarising Freud’s ideas, and secondly, to be clear to the reader that it is simply Freud’s theory and not a known-fact.

Unfortunately the student provides no clear introduction or conclusion which really lets the essay down – following a clear, planned structure is really important (introduction – argument – conclusion) as it will both be easier to read and follow for the reader, as well as demonstrating that the student has carefully planned and thought about their essay. In this particular case an introduction is needed to introduce Freud’s concept and the factors that will be discussed, and a conclusion is needed to summarise the arguments put forward and make overarching judgments on the theory from these. Having said that, the level of evaluation provided for Freud’s theory is good – the student assesses both the strengths (e.g. Freud’s influence on other psychologists/theories, providing examples) and limitations of the theory (e.g. not falsifiable, biased sample) – clearly demonstrating the student is capable of providing a critical analysis of a theory and drawing some conclusions about this.

This essay focuses on Freud’s psychodynamic model of personality development, explicitly covering the main points of the theory (e.g. Id, Ego, Superego, and the psychosexual stages) and continuing on to provide some analysis of the theory (e.g. its strengths and weaknesses, related studies). In general, the first half of the essay (the descriptive information) is significantly weaker than the second half (where the student seems to find their way and begins to confidently provide some critical analysis) – if possible, description and analysis should be intertwined throughout an essay, although this is not always essential. Unfortunately the student provides a fairly rushed description of Freud’s psychodynamic model, which, to a reader who knew nothing, may not be clear enough (e.g. The personality according to Freud comprised of 3 areas. The id, ego and the superego. These 3 areas together shape the development of a personality and seeing as they have roots to childhood can affect adult behaviour” – all very short sentences with no clear analysis, why do these factors have roots to childhood?).