Role models and means of emotional support can also be found elsewhere, besides in the home. Friends, neighbours and teachers provide this and more. Interaction with members of the opposite sex is experienced during school life, so any child living in either a homosexual or single parent family would not be disadvantaged.
Another topic raised is that of homophobia. Though frowned upon by many, homophobia is still very much alive in today’s society. Psychical violence, extreme prejudice and exclusion are problems faced by a large majority of gay people daily. As it has been for centuries, the gay community are commonly considered unacceptable.
It could be said that to place a child into the care of people who are subjected to such treatment; a child perhaps too young to have an opinion on homosexuality, is morally wrong. Exposing impartial children to such ridicule is not taking the welfare of them into consideration, and must therefore be disallowed.
This negative treatment could also extend to the child’s every day life at school, through means of taunting by the children of heterosexual couples. Bullying could perhaps reach such a degree that the child begins to begrudge its adoptive parents for causing them to experience such torment.
In a study, published in1990, dealing with children living with gay parents, 92% of children questioned expressed worries concerning their situation. A 19 year old student from Wisconsin stated “Growing up is hard enough to do, and I sometimes resented my mother for making it harder”.
Although quotations such as these are cause for concern, they are the unfortunate result of society’s ongoing negative attitude towards anyone or anything considered “unnatural”. It is only through embracing homosexual people, whether attached or single, and accepting them as members of our community that we can hope to overcome prejudice.
It is both a common saying and fact that children are the future. We can only hope to shape our children in the most positive ways possible, in order to make for a better world. This includes disposing of homophobia. A predominant amount of children adopted by gay couples will see past the discrimination surrounding them, and will therefore be a valuable asset to a prejudice-ridden world in the future.
The reality is that prejudice is not only experienced by homosexuals. The adoptive children of couples from ethnic minorities could also undergo scorn at the hands of their classmates, yet such couples are no denied the right of adoption, in even the most racist areas. Other such minority groups include immigrants, the physically and mentally disabled, followers of uncommon religions…If we are to allow only those we see as ordinary to adopt, we are left with a very slim chance of finding caring homes for the high amount of children in care.
The most important point in adoption by gay couples is the happiness and safety of the children. It is a confirmed fact that stability is one of the most important factors in raising a happy child. Insecurity within the home will reflect badly on the child, resulting in unhappiness within the parent-child relationship, as well as the relationship between the parents. Many insist that these are the type of problems which can be expected to occur as a result of adoption by gay couples. It is said that in comparison to happily married heterosexual couples, the reliability of a homosexual relationship is questionable.
The reasoning behind gay couples requesting to adopt is also examined. Why, when single homosexuals are free to adopt, are gay couples insisting on their right for adoption? If their interests lie solely with the wellbeing of their potential child, then surely their recognition as a couple is not important. Due to this, is it speculated that the right to adopt is simply another statement made by the gay community to gain social acceptance.
Some also believe the adopted children are merely considered a symbol of the progression the gay couple has made; signifying they are one step away from being granted the right of marriage. In the words of Jack Straw, MP Home Secretary in 1998: “We should not see children as trophies”.
I am of the opinion that the foundations and success of any relationship lies with the communication and actions taken by the couple involved, and is not based on their sexual preferences. Like other adults in this country, the majority of lesbians and gay men are in stable, committed relationships. Of course, some of these relationships have problems, as do some heterosexual relationships.
Before a couple are allowed to adopt, they undertake a rigorous screening process by the adoption agency, to ensure the pair are able and willing parents, and the environment they live in is suitable for the child. This process is designed to exclude out individuals who are not qualified to adopt, for whatever reason. There is no evidence from these screenings which suggest that gay or lesbian individuals do not make suitable parents. The American Psychological Association revealed in a recent report on the subject that “not a single study has found children of gay or lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents.”
It is therefore vital that we certify the child’s safety in his or her new home. If we disqualify large numbers of gay couples from adopting because of the nature of their relationship, we may risk placing them in the care of heterosexual couples who are unsuitable. Isn’t it more important place children with secure and loving parents, rather than keep strictly to straight couples who may not provide the child with what it needs?
An argument for gay adoption deals with the high amount of children in need of homes. It is estimated that there are 500,000 children nationwide in care. There is a high chance that many of these children may stay in as many as 20 foster homes before they reach the age of 18. Some never find a suitable, permanent home. It is this critical shortage of adoptive parents which highlights the importance of every willing and able couple who requests a child to adopt.
US Company Adopt America states that there are simply not enough married couples who are interested in adoption. The adoption policies must deal with reality in order to adequately home the children they were made to help. It could perhaps be insisted that if there was a sufficient amount of straight, married couples, egger and qualified to adopt then there would be no need for gay couples to argue their rights. However, as this is not the case, everyone willing must be taken into consideration.
Another argument against allowing gay couples the right to adopt is the issue concerning human nature. Some people believe that what cannot happen naturally must not happen at all; meaning that because a gay couple cannot produce children themselves naturally, then it should not be allowed for them to raise children by other means, such as adoption.
Although the natural order of the human body is important, to ban anyone unable to naturally create children would be unjust. It would not benefit the children either. Those who cannot conceive naturally may love and care for their adopted child as much, if not more, than those who can.
If we disallow gay couples to adopt due to their inability to have children, then we must take into consideration the requests for adoption from infertile people or couples. One of the most common reasons in the world today for adoption is the fact that one or both of the people involved in the relationship are unable to produce children. However, these couples are not turned away. I strongly believe that if we are to argue that only naturally able people should have the right to children, then we must not exclude couples besides homosexuals.
In conclusion, there are many reasons as to why it is felt gay couples should not be allowed to adopt; most of which deal with the doubts and concerns felt by those in today’s society. However, there is no evidence to support the allegations made towards gay couples and their ability to support and care for adopted children. I hope I have succeeded in clearly displaying the reasons as to why I believe bans such as those passed in Florida should not be universal. Although there are numerous reasons to stop homosexual couples from becoming adoptive parents, there are none to support the general view that heterosexual couples are more capable. Keeping the intentions of the children in need of good homes in mind, it is my strong belief that we should judge individuals on their own merits and abilities before making assumptions on their parenting skills, rather than conclude wholly on sexual preference.
Nicola Crooks