Stewart & Joines (1987) go on to say that it is a theory of personality which uses a three part model, known as the ego state model, which helps understand how people function and express their personality in terms of behaviour. Discussion of each ego state as an entire system if thought, feeling and behaviour was defined as being Parent, Adult or Child. It was made clear that whilst these three ego states may always be present in the individual, only one state is in control at any one moment.
Berne observed that people need strokes, which are a form of interpersonal appreciation, in order to survive and thrive. These strokes can be both conscious/verbal and unconscious/non-verbal. By recognising how people give and receive both positive and negative strokes and changing unhealthy patterns of stroking are fundamental tools to intervene and improve the effectiveness of cross-communication.
Strokes are can be either positive or negative, and comprise of four main types, and their opposing antonyms:
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Internal (External); fantasies, self praise, self stimulation, (from others).
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Conditional (Unconditional); for something/one, (for you).
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Stroke Value; relative weighting given to words, e.g. “I love you” = 10, “Hi” = 2.
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Filtered Strokes; internal filter usage, E.g. “I see you have a new hair style” – can be filtered internally as “they like (+ive)/dislike (-ive) it”
By studying the communication, or transactions, between the strokes given, and combing them with the ego state of the persons interacting, it may be possible to understand the motivations behind a person’s actions, and ways to improve/ change these actions.
There are three main types of transactions (but many variations within each one):
- Complimentary
- Crossed
- Ulterior
Can be seen diagrammatically is fig.1.
TA can be used in the work place as a way of counselling others, resolving conflicts and understanding miscommunications and confusion. It is when dialogues are broken down, or misconstrued, that individuals may feel manipulated or used
Where events and feelings that we have experienced are stored and can be transferred onto others, the use of guidance counselling may help to resolve those past issues.
Where the three ego states manifest themselves in gestures, tones of voice and actions as if they are almost three differing people within, TA can help to identify these, and offer direction and regulation of anti-trust behaviour.
One of the main precepts of Berne’s beliefs was that we are all born ‘OK’, but as experiences affect us, we become ‘Not-OK’. He also believes that we all have the ability to make a cognitive decision to change.
Employees can also use the application of TA with dealing with potentially difficult situations. Where an adult-adult (or logical) complimentary transaction is the norm in most work places, it may be important to use a crossed-transaction.
For example, if a manager keeps habitually helps subordinates in a patronizing manner, and the subordinates humbly accept (parent-child), then by a system of positive feedback, the subordinates become more resentful. But if the subordinate acknowledge that ‘No thanks, I can manage by myself’ (crossed parent-adult), it may make the manager to adjust their ego position and thus avoid future conflict.
By using the parental or adult ego states and negating the child one, emotional entanglements could potentially be avoided.