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Can heart disease be prevented?
- Essay length: 1386 words
- Submitted: 09/03/2009
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Reviewed by:
skatealexia
The first 200 words of this essay...
Can heart disease be prevented?
Preventing heart disease. Something our doctors tell us about all the time, something we all want to do, but what exactly is a "heart disease". How can we prevent it if we don't even know what it is? Every one has heard the terms "heart attack" and "stroke" but hardly anyone knows what they mean.
Let's start right at the beginning. A heart disease, medically known as cardiovascular disease, is a disease of the heart and the blood vessels. Most people think only the middle aged and elderly get such diseases but no, cardiovascular diseases can be found in children as young as the age of seven years old. This is strongly liked with the children's lack of exercise and a poor diet.
There are many types of cardiovascular diseases of which the major ones are atherosclerosis, coronary, rheumatic, congenital, myocarditis, angina and arrhythmia. Heart disease can arise from congenital defects, infection, narrowing of the coronary arteries, high blood pressure, or disturbances. (1)
Atherosclerosis is the thickening of the inner layer of the arterial walls due to the deposit of cholesterol, fibrous tissue, dead muscle cells and blood platelets.
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Review of essay
Rating: 4 star(s)
Response to the question
'Can heart disease be prevented?' Overall surface level analysis. The response to the question is attempted at analyzing a variety of different contributory factors and ways heart disease can be prevented, but the essay format is quite disjointed and does not flow very well. To increase the level the candidate could also include diagrams or tables to ease the continuation of paragraphs and increase line spacing to make it easier to read. Also, no conclusion is provided and the introduction could be a lot more focused towards the question.
Level of analysis
Introduction does not directly address the question but is in a discussion type format. It should really provide an introduction into the main topics that will be covered in the essay. Discussion type format is not really appropriate for an essay, and the text could be made a lot more concise and to the point without it. Rather than listing a few different related effects which may lead to heart disease, the candidate should explore the different ones and how they are interlinked. The different paragraphs which do explore the effects are not effectively linked together and appear rather disjointed rather than flowing. Different scientific terms and concepts explained are very scientifically correct and show a high level of understanding. Essay appears incomplete and no conclusion is provided. References are referenced which is not normally seen in scientific A level essays, but the referencing is inconsistent. The different levels of analysis used are to a good depth.
Quality of writing
Punctuation, grammar and spelling are all to a good standard.
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