Unfortunately in most societies aging is treated a little bit like disability. People may have slightly more or different needs as they get older, but the key thing is to keep people as human beings, functioning as fully as possible. It is society that imposes on you a sense that you are old. Older workers are commonly thought to be less adaptable, less capable of learning, less creative and less adept at mastering technology. Yet whenever these assumptions have been tested, they have been found to be wrong. Age, as somebody once said, only matters if you are a cheese.
Far from struggling to remember where they put the keys, many in this group are exhaustingly dynamic. Many over-60s cycle the length and breadth of their countries for charity, or sleeping in Buenos Aires guesthouses so as to learn to salsa properly. Future historians are going to be overwhelmed by material, because every other person seems to be writing a memoir, not necessarily for publication, but because for the first time in history masses of people have enough time, energy and education to try it.
There has been talk in some political circles that some responsibility for social welfare should be shifted from governments to families. This would encourage several generations to live together in extended families. However, this is a dangerous policy that could lead to a variety of social problems, not only for the elderly, but also for the families that would have to look after them. Often, it is the elderly who are reluctant to live with their children. Several main reasons are commonly given for this. The first is that many want to retain their independence. They want to be able to come and go as they please, and to be able to live their lives in their own way and not to have fit in with other people, even if they are family. When with their family, they often feel that they have lost some control over their lives, even if the alternative is to rely on support services such as visits from nurses or people to cook their meals. Secondly, many elderly people are proud of being able to look after themselves, and would feel deep shame to be looked after by anyone, even close family members.
A further problem is that people in the family usually women, are likely to have spend time as carers. The inevitable consequence of this is that the person or people have to take time out of their jobs and their working lives, and not only do they lose the income and self-respect that a job provides, but also the ensuing gap in their career may mean that when they eventually return to work, they have lost the opportunity to develop work skills that could have led to promotion. This is clearly not to the benefit of society.
Extended families also reduce the independence of younger family members. A family, especially an extended one, can be a stiffing environment, in that young people can be made to feel it is their duty to carry out the wishes of their elders, which may not always be in their best interests. This is also against nature – it is a natural tendency for young people to want to leave the parental influence and make decisions by themselves. Indeed, many argue, it is only by doing this that a young person can learn valuable lessons in life through making their own decisions and being directly affected by their consequences. Though many of these young people may benefit to some extent from the greater experience and knowledge of their family elders, overall the scope for personal growth of young adult family members is reduced in extended families.
It is clear that severe social problems will result if a return to living in extended families is encouraged. Individuals should be able to choose how they organize their living arrangements, and everyone should have the chance to enjoy the benefits of independent living. And perhaps we need to go back to something more like the Middle Ages when a person’s precise age wasn’t always known, when society was less bureaucratized and age wasn’t a basic organizing principle. There will come a time for each of us when we can no longer do what we want. Until then, it makes sense to get on as much as you can.
