AN ANALYSIS OF MY PROCESS AS A STUDENT OF COUNSELLING SKILLS ON THE FCCS PHASE 11

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AN ANALYSIS OF MY PROCESS AS A STUDENT OF COUNSELLING SKILLS ON THE FCCS PHASE 11

During this essay I will illustrate how my learning relates to certain theories or models by using a selection and analysis of issues from my journal during Counselling Course phase 2. I will show with evidence, highlighting issues from the journal my developmental process as a student of counselling skills. Throughout this course I have had to challenge my behaviour and responses in professional and personal relationships. The results have been revealing to myself and will be analysed in this essay.

The exercises to raise self awareness have deeply challenged my conditional liking to the extent that for my personal development to grow I needed to gain further insight of myself to understand my responses. One of the conditional liking exercises was how difficult on a 1-4 would I find it to accept someone who tells me they abuse children (appendices see 'how conditional is my liking'). My immediate response was 3-4. I started to explore my feelings and reflect on personal experiences and conflicts surrounding abuse. I read Innocence Betrayed Paedophilia, the Media and Society to try and learn more to challenge my response to this question. What emerged from this by the end of the course was that my score of 3-4 was reduced to a 1-2 but not every day. Some days I wake and my personal experiences are forefront when I think of this question and it wobbles to 2-3. But I have raised my self awareness and will continue this learning process. Because of this wobble I would at present, in a counselling situation refer the 'client' to another person as our relationship would not be congruent. I am able to trace this shift in attitude to insights I have gained which are rooted in my experience of life and also the theoretical knowledge I have gained. In the future I hope I am able to say that I am able to work with anyone. But for now I know my limitations and believe this has raised my self awareness. Although it is the end of the course I now need to gain insight of why I rated a three on a 1-4 'how difficult it would be to accept someone who tells me they are in love with you'.

Another exercise in self awareness was in self challenge (see Appendices Self Challenge). Refusing to accept compliments is a problem area for my-self and I need to examine why. One of the reasons I thought about were I always used to wonder what the person complimenting wanted from me. I tried saying thank you the last few times. It felt a little uncomfortable but it is getting easier, but the easiness maybe due to other skills that this course has taught me and that is confidence and how to keep myself safe. I have noticed now that by saying what I mean I am being genuine to myself and others.

I used to wonder how I ended up in certain situations but reflecting now in certain situations I never said what I meant. I feel that for a relationship to develop, it needs to be genuine from the beginning. This way I am also setting clear boundaries which I have not always done in the past.

Another self challenge that needed considering was not listening when I do not agree with what is being said which I have noticed in political situations for instance. By the skills I have learnt on courses 1 and 2 I have started to address this and now try and take their 'frame of reference'.

Johari's window argues that your unknown self becomes smaller when you open yourself to others and allow others to give you feedback on yourself. To illustrate this I felt betrayed in a personal issue during the lifetime of this course. My immediate reaction would have been for that person to be no longer to be in my life but due to learnt skills of active listening, reflecting, self challenge of my behaviours and responses this did not happen. The result is now that because I allowed someone to show me my blind self the unknown self box is becoming smaller. I accepted the person's criticisms about me but do not feel accountable for that person's behaviour. Although I understand that to a degree, through my behaviour and responses I had alienated this person to me but I was able to see that because of this person's behaviour I had at that time behaved the way I did.
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In one of our practice group sessions I was listener to K who was having her worst week of the year with multiple issues emerging ...the anniversary of father's death, family letters, the 12 step programme and pain. Her description of her week came out like a scrambled tree. I felt I needed to actively listen and focus on her most important issue for that week which was the anniversary of father's death. She said that it was the first year she did not place him on a higher 'pedal-stool' than others. I used immediacy indicating to her ...

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