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Samantha's thoughts.

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English literature coursework. Samantha's thoughts. The family is having a stupid party again. Why do they need to celebrate everything? I hate it. I am really fed up with them. My relationship with my family is poor. They don't understand me, because all of them are much older than me and they are more interested in their own benefit than in me. Even my parents don't care about me. I don't even communicate with my father. As a person he seems to me weak, but trying to pretend that everything is under his control and that he is deciding what to do. He is never at home and when he is at home, he mostly isn't interested in me. My mother pretends that she is taking care of me, but actually she doesn't know at all who I am with and what I am doing. For example, she still thinks that I'm taking classical music appreciation lessons in my free time. ...read more.


She is enjoying her life and she is earning money. She spends a lot too and she doesn't care about her marriage at all. Her husband Cliff is really unhappy with the marriage, and Anita is trying to give him staff, like a new stereo system or a new Porsche, instead of a happy marriage. Desmond and Harriet are unhappy with their marriage as well. Harriet, for example, cares more about her dog then her husband. Isn't it ridiculous? And most of their problems are because of food! Add more In the last few days I have found that Roy has started to communicate with me and looked at me more carefully. For example he was interested in my book and he asked me some stupid questions. But actually, even if he guessed about my real life, he couldn't open my parents eyes, because all the family still think of him as a fool. And nobody would take him seriously anyway. ...read more.


Then my friends invited me to a party where I tried drugs and it was new feeling for me, even more enjoyable then stealing. All my anger and discontent went out on Benedict. In my family everybody is sending mixed messages about what is right and what is wrong. I can't decide what is important in my life, because I'm so different from the others and they don't try to understand me at all. When I attacked Benedict, I couldn't control myself. It was my reaction, without any doubt, to what might happen to me. Just now I have realized what a horrible thing I have done. I have become a murderer. I was so violent with him, because I thought that he was the one who got me into trouble. But now I understand that all my troubles come from my family, because they are sick and unhappy. And they still aren't trying to understand me, even after such a terrible thing as a murder. But now they are having a party again and everything seems perfect, but actually nothing has changed and family happiness is just an image. ...read more.

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