Self esteem and self efficacy are central to the sustained success of any individual. They combine to formulate a powerful vaccine against distress, depression, helplessness, dependency, and irrational cognition.

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Self esteem and self efficacy are central to the sustained success of any individual.  They combine to formulate a powerful vaccine against distress, depression, helplessness, dependency, and irrational cognition.  They are the key to optimism, positive behaviour change and the achievement of goals.  How can one expect to reach their potential if they do not believe in themselves and their ability to accomplish what they take on. Humans formulate opinions of self based upon the collected experiences of life.  Some are fortunate enough to grow and develop in positive nurturing environments that foster optimal beliefs systems.  Others have a more difficult time remaining positive about themselves and life in general.  Regardless of one’s background there is nothing that anyone can do to change history.   We have no control over our past only our present.  We have the ability to change how we feel about ourselves at any time.  The choice is ours.

Many of us have learned to be self depreciating.  We are told that we should not blow our own horn or hold our head too high.  In some cultures this is more pronounced than others (e.g., Asian cultures).  As a result our internal dialog be comes negative.  Take a simple test by carrying piece of paper around with you for a few of days.  From the time you wake up until you go to sleep record how many positive comments you make to yourself on one side of the paper and how many negative things you say on the other side.   Begin to analyse and challenge any negative thoughts (rational emotive therapy).  Practice including more positive statements into your day.  Begin with the first time you look in the mirror in the morning.  Get in the habit of starting each day with an affirmation.  I have a friend who takes a stack of index cards with different affirmations about himself on each card.  He shuffles the deck, stands in front of the mirror and reads each card out loud to himself.  After a while one will begin to believe what they are hearing.  Positive self talk does not work without commitment and desire.  Otherwise without drive one is just going through the motions. .  It is difficult to maintain your positive perspective if all you hear is negative crap.  Negative people tend to bring others down.  People will not want to be around you if you are always being negative and you should refuse to associate with people who do not support your good feelings.

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Be assertive and let them know that you do not appreciate negative criticism.  What ever people say to you, you do not need to internalise the message or believe it.  You have no control over what other do or say only you own beliefs.  If someone does not like you that is their problem not yours. Some people go out of their way to refute anything nice that is said about them.  They don’t believe the compliment and think that they need to disagree with the compliment.  Just say, thank you and smile.

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