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A Day in the Life

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A Morning in the Life of Yours Truly By Cameron Bloomfield Terribly sorry but it's far too early - 'Snooze'. Half an hour makes no difference. That last half hour could hardly count as sleep, as the entire period of time, which should have been a relaxing and soothing half-hour kip, was punctuated by my brother's damn radio clearly breaking the sound barrier. Add to the equation paper thin walls, a whistling kettle and a horde of bastard birds outside my window, and you may start to uncover the reasons why I don't tend to class my self a 'morning person'. 7 o'clock hails the arrival of Mother at my bedroom door. The door, I imagine, is fairly drained by the audible bombardment of the last half-hour and with the arrival of a belligerent female sporting a scalding-hot cup of tea, decides to swing right open and let her in - no sense of loyalty whatsoever. ...read more.


Since there aren't any photographers around, I decide that I should probably stop posing in the mirror and continue with the whole getting dressed routine. After losing the towel and donning the uniform I have grown to adapt to my own style, (can't be doing with the 'chav' look, and rocker doesn't suit) that being suave and debonair, well, as debonair as you can be in a school uniform: the tie, almost down to the waist, but not to seem nerd-ish, the shirt, pressed and as smooth as the face that crowns it, the trousers, also pressed and with the waistband around my hips rather than around my testicles. After another successfully completed task, it's on to breakfast. 'Strut down the stairs' is the instruction that comes from my brain. To be honest how I have got through life with this thing aiding my decision making, but I'll get by. 'Now waltz to the kitchen' is the next instruction. ...read more.


oh never mind. My long johns and vest helps protect me from glacial English weather. Global Warming is definitely not a concept that has caught on so far in the mind of the weather gods of Essex. The biting wind is quickly tailed by a driving sleet and with it, the need for a coat. Since I refuse to wear my school blazer (it just feels so old and limp) I need to rush back home and fetch one from my wardrobe. Mother really isn't happy to see me back home so soon and I have to side step her in the hall to avoid her persistent questioning so to get upstairs. After grabbing the coat, I then have to sidestep Mother on the landing, who has followed me upstairs to continue her enquiries. Sprinting downstairs, I fall over Libby who has followed Mother up the stairs in the hope of food. For the second time in the space of thirteen-and-a-little-bit minutes, I find myself walking out of the door on my way to school. And what a morning I have in store. ...read more.

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