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A Day in the Mind of an Anorexic Girl

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A Day in the Mind of an Anorexic Girl I am drifting, floating gently as if through clouds. Suddenly I am awake and my eyes open to complete darkness! Then I am no longer floating, as my feet hit the ground and I waver slightly, managing to stay balanced. I am in a massive, dark, open space but can vaguely make out jumbled images beginning to appear. I find myself trapped in a girl's mind. Not just any girl however; she has an eating disorder known as Anorexia Nervosa. As she opens her eyes, the vast space is lit up and I experience the confusion that is her mind. It is not a pretty sight. Everything seems to be mixed up. There is a sky above my head. Although it is light, it is not blue. It is more of a misty grey. The scenery is in complete disorder, with jagged pieces of what looks like rock and everyday items such as clothes, stationery and bits of paper lying haphazardly about the room. I turn around to see what the area behind me looks like and, as I do, a single red door appears as if out of nowhere, on one side. It has no hinges, and does not appear to be resting on anything, so I go to take a closer look. I turn the knob slowly and I carefully ease open the door. ...read more.


During each picture shown, there is the sound of crying in the distance, as if coming from further down the tunnel. The final image is of her father walking out of the door, a packed bag and car keys in his hands. I realise, as I turn to leave the tunnel, that these must be her memories; sad ones at that. When I enter the open area again, I notice that the everyday objects from before have changed to food. I watch in amazement as the entire 'room' seems to shrink and the girl appears. She looks similar to before, but younger and healthier. She is attached to chains which seem to be holding her back from touching any of the food around her. 'Guilt' appears again, as the echoing words sound in my ears, "Please honey, just have one bite. Please!" these are the words of her mother. They sound tired, as if said over and over, to no avail. Now the food is swallowed, not by her, but by the ground of her mind. I hear the sound of a door being slammed and a key turning in a lock. The sky is red and the boy representing 'anger' has reappeared. A depressed, sobbing little girl walks beside him, symbolising 'sadness'. However, this anorexic girl is not angry at something outside, she is angry at herself. ...read more.


Suddenly, I am engulfed by water! The space has become a pool of sorts. Strangely enough, I can still breathe. However, an image of the girl appears and she is drowning! The surface of the water seems so close but she cannot reach it and she is pulled down by the water as it is sucked by a plughole. The scenery becomes distorted once again. The jagged rocks form long, dark shadows which stretch over the ground, covering it like a dark blanket. I see another door, with light coming from the keyhole. Cautiously, I walk over and try the door knob. It is locked. When I look through the keyhole, I see a beautiful field, with warm sunshine, butterflies and daisies scattered over the green grass. Sitting in the field is a young girl with long, thick, blonde hair, pretty, bright blue eyes and a genuine, happy smile. She sits in the field, making a daisy chain, occasionally stopping to look at the beautiful butterflies flying above her head. She is 'happiness' and the door has been locked for too long. As night begins to fall in this mind, fear, hopelessness, guilt, anger and sadness do not sleep. They are always there, along with the chains of control. There are no stars in the vast black sky and as everything grows dark, I wonder if happiness will ever stop the pain that eats up this poor starved girl from within. Maybe, if she learns to love herself. At least there is hope. Stacey Burr 1 ...read more.

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