A Dragons Egg.

     “COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!”  screeched the cockerel.  “Damn cockerel waking me up at six each morning, I wish I had a shotgun, I’d blow his head off,” I muttered and I moaned about life all the way down to the kitchen until, “ummm!, Pop Tarts, where have you been all my life.”  I took a bite but then my Mum burst in to spoil the moment.  “No time for that those chickens need feeding,” she told me, I carried on munching until “NOW!” startled I spilt my breakfast all over the floor.  My mother growled and I knew that it was time for me to depart.

     “Hello! chickens,” I cried.  I couldn’t hear the slightest of sounds and I was right next to the pen, they must be making a battle plan.  I decided to poke my head through the door.  Nothing, except, the super egg had hatched, weird I thought.  I stepped inside and to my horror a two-foot long dragon burped and chicken feathers were dispersed from his mouth, I gulped and fainted.

     When I finally woke up I was greeted by the unpleasant smell of dragon’s breath and slobber.  I pushed him aside and he hung his head low and said “please don’t hurt me, sorry about the chickens I was a bit peckish ha, ha!”  Once again I collapsed in a heap on the ground, and was awakened by the same foul smell. “How-How-How- Wha-What-What,” I stuttered, “that’s quite a long name you have there, my names Herbert the dragon, say I do hope I’m not intruding but do you have a cage I could possibly stay in? you see it’s rather nippy out yer.” I was caught in some funny kind of trance and obeyed his every command, my eyes ablaze like a demon.

     As I reached my bedroom I had finally calmed down, I gripped the red scaly dragon firmly around the waist as he chatted along.  I already realised he had a bad case of verbal dihorea. “Oh no,” I said sarcastically “there’s not a spare cage,” both of us stared at the interesting array of different species of reptiles.  Herbert began to lick his lips “which ones my supper,” questioned Herbie.  “None,” I replied “You’ll be sleeping in my sock drawer.” “What are you crazy, the smell will over come me, I’ll suffocate, I’ll … SLAM! the drawer slammed shut and at last Herbie shut up.

     “John, John,” cried my mother awaking me “it’s nine am, the dopey cockerel overslept.”  

“No I think you’ll find Herbie ate him,” I replied.

“WHAT!” she screamed.

“Oh! Uh nothing,” I said hoping she wouldn’t start asking questions about what I’d said.  

“Listen! you’ll have to do your breakfast yourself and don’t forget those chickens, right!”  “Gulp” “uh yeah sure.”  I rose from my bed and opened my drawer “burp”, “oh yuck, dragons breath,” the foul aroma filled the room,  “well it’s not me it’s your socks.”

“My socks, where are they?” I asked.

“A dragons got to eat kiddo.”              

“Why I ought to,” I threatened, but the dragon put on those puppy eyes so I threw him on the bed and took the lid off my prize possession, my Chameleon, Bob, he was about three feet long but his cage was a massive ten-foot longer.  I placed him on my bed next to Herbie and turned back round to smooth out the sawdust on the bottom of Bob’s cage but then Herbie pulled the final straw, as I turned back round to see Bob’s legs disappear into Herbie’s open mouth, my face was so mean looking now the spots would jump off any leopard.  Herbie stared up at me and said “you know, if you pull that face you might get stuck like it,” I growled and started strangling Herbie, but suddenly he became three times the size that he was before, he was now eight feet long and weighed a ton, I dropped him in the cage, he struggled for breath.  I gave him one last stern look and padlocked him inside and left to do my daily chores.

     “ARRRGHH!” I shouted, my tonsils on fire, my heart pounding like a drum. Herbie had exploded out of his cage, gobbled up all the lizards and was now fifteen feet long.  “GET OUT N-O-W!” I bellowed and cried at the red lump of lard.  “But where can I go, what can I do, what can I eat?”  Herbie fired the questions at me like a machine gun until he finally ceased.  I offered him the garden shed. “ I have no choice,” answered Herbie weeping as he waddled outside.  I met Herbie five minutes later; he’d just managed to squeeze his obese figure through the door.  Now he led there with a face as if he’d lost a pound and found a penny.  I hadn’t had the chance to talk man-to-man, well boy-to-dragon so I accepted this opportunity to do so. “Uh so Herbie where do you come from?”

“China,” he replied, “and your parents are where?”

“Southern Hemisphere I suppose, that’s our targeted destination but I must have been dropped from my mum’s pouch during the flight.”

“Hey wait a minute, how do you know this if you were an egg?”

“Read it in your book on top of Bob the Iguanas cage.”

“Oh come on you can’t believe a kiddies book, they’re most probably looking for you right now.” Trying to soothe Herbies sorrows was very hard, so in the end the only solution was to invite Herbie into the guestroom.  “Thank you, thank you,” Herbie danced joyfully around the garden with his red scaly tail wagging, as I led him to his room.  “Now listen Herbie my Mother, Sister and I have to make a short journey to the pharmacy and Gran’s so go to sleep, be good and please don’t grow.”  I turned out of the light and worriedly walked to the car.

     We returned about ten PM that night to see Herbie’s head poked out to the chimney, his four legs through the downstairs windows, his tail through the back door and now he had wings that shattered either side of the roof.  I glanced around to see my Mother and Sister had now fainted and were sprawled out on the floor.  Suddenly a spectacular sight I was glad to see, Herbie’s family had parked themselves in our back yard.  The biggest one spoke first, “thanks for looking after my son,” and with that they floated up, up and away as a shower of fairy dust reformed our decapitated house.  “Thanks” boomed Herbie, my pleasure I thought.  I turned to my Mum and Sister who were in a daze.  “Hows about some cakes and cocoa,” I suggested, then disaster, a gigantic egg landed on the doorstep.