• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

A Walk by the River.

Extracts from this document...

Introduction

A Walk by the River The sudden, swift, severe summer storm caught me totally unaware. I was walking down Old Salem Road when the clouds started to build. I looked around as I huddled under a large, dead oak tree. Almost all of the houses on this abandoned street were too badly damaged for me to take shelter in, except for one. The house loomed impressive and morbid in the greenish-black sky. A flash of lightning briefly illuminated the house. The windows were broken, but the superstructure seemed sound. I was becoming soaked as I pondered my dilemma. Should I stay under the tree and risk getting hit by lightning or should I go into that old house, not know who, or what, might be in there? The storm decided for me. Lightning hit the tree, filling the air with the sent of scorched sap. I dashed onto the porch and pounded on the door. It was open. What was that? ...read more.

Middle

Since I didn't have any business to do in there, I left it undisturbed. I found several bedrooms laden with cloth-covered antiques, moth-ridden clothes that might have been beautiful at one time, and tarnished jewellery. At the end of the second floor, I found yet another stair well. This one was dark and coated with lacy spider webs. It led to what must have been the children's floor at one point. There was a play room that took up most of the space, along with two bedrooms with dainty furniture, and the nurse's room. What I mistook for a closet at first was really a narrow flight of stairs that lead into the attic. A giant rat scampered across my feet. Its beady eyes glowed red in the flicker in lantern light. It hissed at me. I screamed and dropped my lantern. ...read more.

Conclusion

Suddenly, the faint, acrid smell of wood smoke reached my nose. I felt something burning me. I pushed the man away and cried out. Fire felt like it was licking at me. I backed up against the far wall. The flames had already enveloped the man. As a second flash of lighning suddenly blinded me in a flash, I blinked. Opening my eyes quickly to maintain a view of the burning figure, nothing, just a mirror. There was a sudden explosion when lightning hit the rof above me. I was blown out of the window and into a slimy fountain. The piercing wail of a siren cut through the crackle of the burning house. A firefighter lifted me out of the fountain. I stared at his neck. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my mouth. I cried out. The firefighter hugged me once then wrapped me in a blanket. I blacked out as I was slipped into a waiting ambulance. ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE Writing to Inform, Explain and Describe section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Here's what a teacher thought of this essay

4 star(s)

The description in this piece is excellent but it cannot gain top marks because the structure of the piece is too simple. You must always include a variety of sentence structures to enable contrasts between different structures to create a more effective piece of writing.

4 Stars

Marked by teacher Laura Gater 05/09/2013

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related GCSE Writing to Inform, Explain and Describe essays

  1. Haunted house narrative writing. The house stood on the top of lonely hill. ...

    I tried to scream but no sound came up. I stumbled back, clutched my stomach and fell over on the floor. I was unable to rip my eyes away from the sight. It couldn't have been a real Dracula! Startlingly, I crawled forward to touch the fangs. It came off onto my hand.

  2. How does Shakespeare present Macbeth throughout the play

    After Macbeth was crowned king and everybody was curiously looking forward to how Macbeth would rule Scotland but many people were shocked to see what had happened to the country. Nevertheless it was also Macbeth who knew that Scotland was lost under his reign and was desperate to get out of this situation or undo what he had done.

  1. The Attempted Robbery. The knife-man lunged and as quick as a bolt of lightning ...

    I felt as if I was a volcano on the verge of eruption to pour out all the lava. I screamed to them quite rudely to leave, but I regretted at once the words that I had just then uttered.

  2. The Deserted House

    I resisted the urge to pick up a piece and open it, as although no one was likely to collect it all, it was not my mail to open. I kept hearing noises which made me very conscious of the environment I was in, rustling of paper or a creaking floor board, both of which made me jump several times.

  1. Haunted house

    There was no television just a sofa, two chairs and a fireplace; the thick smell of charcoal from the once burning fireplace had spread around the room choking me up on the inside. The chairs and sofa were made from black leather once soft and comfy now thin and worn away from all the use.

  2. Descriptive Writing: A beautiful landscape or natural scene which has stuck in your memory. ...

    Observing more closely at this building, something happened, all the sound of the pilgrims chanting their rituals, surrounding me, had faded, along with the mouth-watering smells of the succulent Arabian delights. There was a thunderous silence. Everything took place around me as normal, but I was deaf from it all.

  1. A Friend in need is a Friend Indeed

    "Ok Chris," Replied Mrs Field. I never told her the truth, not even my parents. They didn't realise that if I told them, Jacob would finish me in seconds. I felt trapped in confusion I was unable to come to reality. It was like Jacob was watching my every movement.

  2. Creative Writing- The Tsunami

    As Bhavan told me all this I became shocked and enraged, I was absolutely fuming, I needed to do something, I had to get back at General Gander for what he'd done. That night I couldn't sleep, I couldn't stop thinking about my family...well at least they were together.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work