Adrian picked up the dog from his grandma’s house, the dog smelled for once like it had had a bath.
February 19th
Adrian wishes he knew Karate or was Prince Andrew with fifty bodyguards around him so he wouldn’t have to give money to Barry Kent.
Adrian’s parents are not talking to each other.
February 20th
Barry told the geography teacher to get stuffed, she sent him to the headmaster to be punished.
Adrian gave a burly Year Nine boy (Craig Thomas) a Mars bar, if Adrian gets into Craig’s gang he won’t be touched by Barry.
February 21st
Adrian had his second wet dream; he had to put his pyjamas in the wash to stop his mother from finding out.
Adrian’s is feeling depressed he has five spots on his face.
Adrian and his father went shopping together, he bought black forest cake and other such items, but he didn’t buy the essentials and his wife got extremely angry and said he needed some company, he looked pleased.
February 22nd
Mr Lucas came over and Adrian and his mother played Monopoly and had the Black Forest Cake.
When Adrian’s father came back from fishing he said that he was looking forward to the Black Forest Cake and started swearing at his wife.
February 23rd
Adrian got a letter from Mr Cherry saying that Adrian could start his paper round the next day.
Adrian hates Bert as he has to keep feeding him fried eggs and washing up.
February 24th
Adrian has had to do a paper round on Elm Tree Avenue, the street that reads all the posh newspapers.
February 25th
Adrian is very tired and has gone to bed early.
February 26th
Adrian has mixed up the posh and tabloids and Adrian didn’t understand why people wouldn’t want a change.
February 27th
Adrian saw Pandora riding, he looked at Pandora’s house and it is much bigger than Adrian’s house.
February 28th
Pandora has a horse called Blossom, Adrian watched Pandora riding it, and according to Adrian she looked ‘sexy’.
Lots of people complained as their papers were late.
March 1st
Adrian fed a lump of sugar to Blossom before Pandora rode it. Adrian was so fascinated by Pandora that he got the papers mixed up, and people complained to Mr Cherry.
When Adrian returned, he saw Mr Lucas in tracksuit; Adrian’s spots have all gone he thanks it to the fresh air.
March 2nd
Adrian’s mother came to Adrian’s room to tell him that her marriage was going through a difficult patch; she spilt ash on his floor.
Adrian comments that marriage is like being in prison.
March 3rd
Adrian doesn’t believe there is no God, as he had to give his menace money to Barry Kent.
At eleven o’clock, Adrian reminded his mother that it was Pancake Day, and his mother burnt them deliberately.
March 4th
Adrian had a nasty shock, when he returned the leftover newspapers, he saw Mr Lucas buying Big and Bouncy (a very indecent magazine) he feels his mother should be informed.
March 5th
Adrian’s father collected the car from the garage.
Adrian’s grandmother blames half of the deaths after the Evergreen Skegness trip to Bert Baxter.
Adrian’s feels that his father is going mad as he heard him say goodnight to the car.
March 6th
Mr Cherry increased Adrian’s wage, and gave him two Big and Bouncy.
Social Services are sending round a care worker for Bert.
March 7th
After Adrian’s paper round, he read a Big and Bouncy magazine it made him feel all queasy.
He went to Sainsbury’s with his parents and when his mother sent him back to the car as he was looking ill, he saw that many people had crowded around his car, as the dog was trapped in. Adrian had to smash the window to get it out. When his parents returned his father threw all the shopping around, swearing.
March 8th
Adrian’s mother went on a course called ‘Women Only’
His father made chips and they watched a movie together.
March 9th
Adrian had to do all the housework as well as his homework; he comments that it is just his luck to have an assertive mother.
March 10th
Adrian wishes that he was Price Edward
March 11th
Adrian left his P.E. kit at home on purpose, so he wouldn’t have to run in the cold, his Games teacher made him run home and collect it, unfortunately on the way back the dog followed Adrian to school, headmaster made Adrian run home and drop it off.
March 12th
Adrian wakes up to find he is covered in spots. He knows he will not get any sympathy at home, so he rings up his Grandma and he goes to stay at her house, without telling his parents.
March 13th
Adrian is visited by an emergency doctor who said he had a mild case of acne, and it was a normal adolescence problem.
Adrian’s grandmother shouted at the doctor, and he left.
Adrian has discovered that his parents are splitting up.
March 14th
It is now official, Adrian’s parents are getting a divorce, neither of them wants to sleep together, so Adrian’s mother is sleeping in the main bedroom, and his father is sleeping in the spare bedroom, they are both smoking.
Adrian’s father gave him five pounds. Adrian bought some cream and coloured stationary.
Adrian went to see Blossom, and he wrote a poem about the pony.
March 15th
The house is quiet; both parents are sitting in their rooms smoking.
Adrian’s father put his records on; Adrian knew that this was a sign that he was depressed, so Adrian brought him a cup of tea.
March 16th
Adrian went to school, found it closed, so he went to Bert’s was he had to all his washing up.
Bert insisted on going to see Blossom, so Adrian took he and afterwards, they went to the newsagents, where Adrian bought a Mars bar and Bert a cigarette.
March 17th
Adrian’s neighbour got drunk at 10 o’clock in the morning and got thrown out of the butcher’s.
March 18th
Both Adrian’s parents are speaking to solicitors on who gets custody of Adrian.
March 19th
Mr Lucas is selling his house for thirty thousand pounds, Adrian dreams on what he could do with thirty thousand pounds, and is sure that with thirty thousand pounds, Pandora would become Mrs Mole.
March 20th
It is the first day of spring and they have cut all the trees down in Elm Tree Avenue.
March 21st
Adrian ends up eating six meals a day as he doesn’t want to upset either parent.
Adrian’s parents can’t decide who gets the T.V. so Adrian gets it In his bedroom.
Mr Lucas keeps sending Adrian’s mother love notes, Adrian wants to inform his father.
March 22nd
It is Adrian’s grandmother’s birthday, and he bought a poisonous plant and a card.
Adrian’s grandmother is gland Adrian’s parents are getting a divorce as she never really liked Adrian’s mother.
March 23rd
Adrian went back to school.
After school Adrian took Bert’s brushes and cleaned Blossom, remembering Pandora.
March 24th
Mr Lucas and Adrian’s mother have still gone out and they haven’t come back by midnight.
March 25th
Adrian’s father said that his wife and Mr Lucas have been to a dinner and dance.
Adrian had to swimming in Games, he hated it.
March 26th
Barry Kent has been done by the police for riding his bike without a rear light, Adrian hopes that he gets to prison.
March 27th
Nigel and Pandora have split up, Adrian is extremely happy.
March 28th
Nigel came round and talked about Pandora and nearly cried, Adrian didn’t really care.
Adrian doesn’t know whether to buy something for his mother, for mothers day.
March 29th
Adrian got three ponds from his father to buy something for his mother.
Adrian’s mother is organising a meeting about family affairs and is therefore, consequently Mr and Mrs Lucas are invited.
March 30th
A fight broke out between Mr Lucas and Adrian’s father in the garden at midnight, Adrian watched from his window. All Adrian’s neighbours were supporting Adrian’s father.
March 31st
Adrian’s mother has left for Sheffield with Mr Lucas.
April 1st
Nigel played a prank call on Adrian; unfortunately Adrian’s father answered and started swearing down the phone.
Adrian from Barry got itching powder down his back.
April 2nd
Adrian is fourteen, he received many presents from all relatives; best was fifteen pounds from his mother and Mr Lucas.
Adrian feels he is mature.
April 3rd
Adrian got twenty out of twenty in his geography test and he is very proud.
April 4th
Adrian cleaned the house, as Adrian’s grandmother is coming over the next day.
They had to go to the shops, and Adrian’s father forgot his credit card at home, Adrian had to pay.
April 5th
Adrian had to clean the rest of the house as Adrian father stayed in bed all day smoking.
April 6th
Adrian’s mother sent a postcard urging Adrian to come to Sheffield, when they found somewhere to live.
April 7th
Pandora is going out with Craig Thomas, now Adrian regrets giving his Mars Bar to him.
Adrian had Art and he drew a brilliant picture which according to his Art teacher carried a powerful statement.
Adrian had a call from his mother saying that he would understand one day about love and all adult relationships.
April 8th
Adrian had Games where they were doing lifesaving in pyjamas, which Adrian thought was a pointless exercise.
April 9th
Adrian and his father had a chat about who Adrian would like to live with. Adrian’s father said he had made friends with a woman at his work called Doreen Slater.
April 10th
Adrian rang his grandmother to tell her about Doreen, she didn’t sound too happy.
Nigel has invited Adrian over for the weekend because his parents are at a wedding, Adrian’s father somewhat relieved, agreed.
April 11th
Adrian loved Nigel’s house, he had everything, plasmas, lasers the lot.
Adrian even comments that if he was to choose between Pandora and a racing bike it would have to be the bike.
April 12th
Adrian’s eyes have really been opened to wealth; he has been living on the poverty line for weeks with no heating.
April 13th
Adrian refuses Mr Cherry’s request to start his paper round again, he says he still is in a state of mental depression.
April 14th
Adrian has had a postcard from his mother, inviting him over, his father says he can go if Adrian’s mother sends the train fare.
April 15th
Adrian and Nigel went to the youth club and played ping pong and table football. Adrian wants another pair of trousers instead of his flared trousers.
April 16th
Adrian’s aunt who works in prison sent Adrian a card. She always gets people’s birthdays wrong or she has too much stress.
April 17th
The dog mauled all the hot cross buns, Adrian thought he showed no respect for Jesus.
April 18th
Adrian’s aunt sent Adrian a toothbrush which she said was made by one of the prisoners.
April 19th
Adrian went to Bert’s house, Bert made him do the washing up. In return Adrian received a pile of comics called ‘The Eagle’
April 20th
Adrian’s father has run out of cigarettes and the bank is closed so he is becoming very depressed.
April 21st
Adrian’s father went to the bank. The cashier said he didn’t have any money, Adrian’s father got angry and the manger had to come and smooth things over and agreed to give Adrian’s father an overdraught.
The train fare came; he is going to Sheffield tomorrow.
April 22nd
Adrian left early for Sheffield his father dropped him at the station. Adrian had to sit next to an old woman who has had many troubles in her life and Adrian had to listen to them all. Adrian hopes his father feeds the dog.
April 23rd
Adrian and his mother went shopping, then had lunch and then went to see a very rude film.
When the returned Mr Lucas had prepared dinner but Adrian said he was not hungry and went to bed.
April 24th
Adrian helped his mother paint the kitchen an awful colour, like the school toilets.
Mr Lucas bought Adrian a penknife but he rejected it.
April 25th
Mr Lucas drove all of them to the countryside, and they had a walk. Adrian had a dream about stabbing Mr Lucas with the penknife.
April 26th
Adrian has returned from Sheffield.
Adrian has finally met Doreen, his father said that she had had washed and ironed his uniform for the next day.
April 27th
In domestic science they learnt how to wash up Adrian was the best.
Pandora and Craig Thomas were openly kissing in the playground, and Miss Elf had to knock on the staffroom window and ask them to stop.
April 28th
Mr Scruton made a morality speech in assembly and everyone knew he was referring to Pandora and Craig.
April 29th
Adrian is worried as his father is not selling any electric heater, therefore they are not getting any money, and Adrian’s father just laughs.
April 30th
Adrian got beaten up by Barry Kent who he owed two pounds.
May 1st
Barry Kent and his gang got kicked out of the youth club.
May 2nd
Adrian got a letter from the convict who made him the toothbrush; she is coming to see him on the fifteenth.
May 3rd
Adrian went to his grandmother’s house as he was starving and she spoilt him.
May 4th
Adrian rang his aunt, who wasn’t their and so he left a message with one of her friends.
May 5th
Adrian’s aunt said that the convict was not allowed to go as she had burnt down the embroidery workshop.
May 6th
Adrian has been made school dinner monitor and now he is very proud.
May 7th
Bert rang the school and told Adrian to come round to his house quickly-it turned out that Bert had lost his false teeth and couldn’t eat.
Adrian bought some soup for Bert and promised to go round the next day and help him find them.
May 8th
Adrian found Bert’s false teeth in Sabre’s kennel.
Mr Lucas’s house has been sold.
May 9th
Adrian electricity supply has been cut off.
Adrian’s father went made and swore at the official.
Mr Lucas and Adrian’s mother came round and the was a big row as usual.
May 10th
Adrian feels he is suffering from depression.
May 11th
Bert offered Adrian his paraffin heater, but knowing the dog might knock it over he refused.
May 12th
Adrian had to talk to the Careers teacher today, he said to be a vet you would need to take up the three sciences.
Adrian asked what you needed to do if you wanted to be a comedian, the teacher said nothing and just said you had to be a moron.
May 13th
Adrian had a talk with his father on what subjects Adrian would like to take. His father said anything Adrian felt comfortable with.
May 14th
Adrian got a good mark for his English essay as his teacher felt sorry for him.
After dinner Adrian and his father played cards in the candle light.
May 15th
Adrian’s grandma gave them a surprise visit. She started shouting at Adrian’s father, and she took them all to her house and wrote a cheque for the heating to be restored.
May 16th
Adrian helped his grandma do the shopping. His grandmother got a free slice of meat when she scared the shop assistant.
To get back to her house they had to climb up a hill, Adrian’s arms are aching now.
May 17th
Adrian and his father went to church and Adrian’s grandma made her son dress smartly and comb his hair.
Adrian’s father embarrassed them at church by singing too loudly.
When they returned home, Adrian’s father broke a forty one year milk jug, his mother got very upset.
May 18th
Adrian’s grandmother is not speaking to her son because of the milk jug, Adrian can’t wait to get back home.
May 19th
Adrian’ father got in trouble for staying out too late.
Adrian had to tell his father about Barry beating him up as his blazer was torn.
Adrian’s father has promised to talk to Barry and get the money back..
May 20th
Barry denied taking any money and Adrian’s father got scared when he saw Barry Kent’s father who was twice the size of him.
The police are not getting involved because they need a witness, so Adrian is planning to ask Nigel to give a sworn statement.
May 21st
Adrian was beaten up in the cloakroom for being a ‘daddy’s boy’.
After school, Adrian’s grandma somehow got the money back.
In a token of gratitude Adrian bought her some chocolates.
May 22nd
It is all about the school that Barry got scared by a seventy four year old woman, he is being replaced by a different gang leader.
May 23rd
Adrian and his father have gone back home there are red bills on the doormat.
May 24th
Adrian has decided to paint his room black. His is sick of the Noddy wallpaper.
Adrian’s father approves so long as he gets it done himself and buys the paint himself.
May 25th
Adrian has decided to be a poet. Adrian’s father thinks he should be a computer operator, but he disagrees.
Noddy’s nose is still showing, it looks like his room will need two coats.
May 26th
He put two coats of paint and it still hasn’t made a difference.
His room is dark and gloomy and full of black paint.
May 27th
He put a third coat on and there is a slight improvement.
May 28th
Adrian’s paintbrush has broken so he used a kids paintbrush, his paint has run out.
May 29th
Adrian used black felt tip pen, to colour over Noddy’s hat.
May 30th
Adrian finally finished painting/colouring his walls, but according to him it still looks a bit gloomy.
May 31st
Adrian bought a joss stick and light it in his room to get rid of the smell of paint. Adrian’s father came in and threw it out of the window saying he wouldn’t have Adrian messing with drugs.
June 1st
Adrian’s father has been made redundant, Adrian is feeling depressed, because now social services will be paying for his shoes.
Doreen Slater and Maxwell have come round, to comfort Adrian’s father.
Adrian think Doreen is ugly but thinks she can cook well.
June 2nd
Doreen and Max have stayed for the night. Max was supposed to sleep on the sofa so he could not so he had to sleep in between Doreen and Adrian’s father-he vomited.
June 3rd
Adrian is beginning to like Doreen, she made some jam tarts for him, stopped his father from smoking and drinking and treats Adrian like an adult.
June 4th
Adrian’s mother rang, Doreen answered, his mother and Doreen had a argument on why Doreen was in that house. Adrian’s mother ended up slamming the phone done.
June 5th
Adrian was spotted in assembly wearing red socks. The headmaster shouted at Adrian and told him to go home and change.
When his father heard about it he went mad and rang up the school and told Mr Scruton that his son would wear what ever colour socks he liked.
June 6th
Pandora and Adrian have set up a committee for individual rights and she is calling a meeting at her house the next day.
Doreen and Max have left as Adrian’s grandmother was coming round.
June 7th
Adrian found Max’s dummy in Adrian’s father’s bed. Adrian lied and said that the dog picked up off the streets.
Pandora and the rest of the Red Sock Committee were waiting at Pandora’s house. Pandora’s parents were introduced to Adrian, they were both Labour supporters and admired the stand that Adrian was making.
Pandora’s father (Ivan) gave him a book to read , with an interesting title.
June 8th
When Adrian got to school, Mr Scruton gave each of the committee a letter saying that they were suspended for a week.
June 9th
Adrian’s father went to the school, and argued with Mr Scruton.
June 10th
Adrian is officially in love with Pandora.
June 11th
Adrian is too much in love to write anything.
June 12th
Adrian had a message from school, saying that Bert needed him.
He went over with Pandora.
Bert was ill, Adrian called the doctor. They tried to clean the house up. When the doctor came, he called an ambulance.
When the ambulance they said that Bert’s house was very dusty.
June 13th
Bert is in intensive care, the nurses said he was in a stable condition.
Adrian hopes Bert does not die, because he has nothing to wear to the funeral.
June 14th
Adrian took Bert a jar of beetroot and some cards, he didn’t stay long because Bert was asleep.
June 15th
The Committee has decided to give way to Scruton, so they wore red socks under their black socks.
June 16th
Adrian went to see Bert, Bert was angry about all the tubes on his body.
He gave a number to ring, his daughter’s number. Bert wanted her to visit him on his death bed.
June 17th
Pandora and Adrian had a passionate French kiss, but Adrian didn’t enjoy it so they went back to English kissing.
June 18th
Bert is now tubeless, he is still complaining. Adrian still hasn’t rang the number.
Pandora came round and they discussed what they should do about the committee.
June 19th
Bert has been moved to a normal ward, he got in trouble for getting beetroot juice on the sheets.
June 20th
Bert’s consultant told him that he shouldn’t smoke.
Bert asked Adrian to buy him some cigars.
June 21st
Adrian has decided to buy to the cigars.
June 22nd
Adrian is ill and therefore too ill to write.
June 23rd
Adrian has tonsillitis it is official.
June 24th
Adrian got a card from his mother with five pounds. Adrian asked his father to buy five Lucozade bottles.
June 25th
Adrian had delirious dreams about Lady Diana Spencer.
June 26th
The doctor said that the thermometer was faulty.
Pandora came round, Adrian wanted to kiss her, but his lips were cracked.
June 27th
Adrian wonders why his mother hasn’t come to visit him.
June 28th
Adrian has just heard that his mother is coming to see him and has just caught the train.
June 29th
Pandora went to see Bert in the hospital, the nurses are getting fed up of him so he is being discharged on Thursday.
Pandora’s father who had to take care of Sabre is putting the dog in the kennels because he is causing mayhem.
June 30th
Adrian is suffering from depression and said he will have to take things very easy.
July 1st
The truancy officer came round and saw Adrian sitting in a deckchair in the front garden sipping Lucozade reading a magazine.
The dog got in a fight with the officer and Adrian’s father had to come out and separate them.
July 2nd
The doctor said that if Adrian was feeling better he could go back to school the next day, Adrian assures his father that he still is feeling terrible.
July 3rd
An Indian family has moved into Mr Lucas’s house, Adrian’s father said a very racist comment which Pandora got offended by because she is in the Anti-Racism society.
July 4th
Pandora and Adrian a determined to give the Indian family a warm welcome, and Pandora boldly said that they were not all racist buggers.
Bert still hasn’t come out of hospital.
July 5th
Adrian got up a six o’clock in the evening as he was bored because Pandora went to Gymkhana.
July 6th
Adrian’s neighbours are trying to organise a street party in honour of the royal wedding, no one has signed up to help or to come yet.
July 7th
Bert rang up the National Council for Civil Liberties; they said he could sign himself out of hospital. He is now staying in Adrian’s spare bedroom, and driving Adrian’s father up the wall.
Pandora, Adrian and Bert have signed up for the tea party. Now Bert looks better as he is allowed to smoke.
July 8th
Bert’s snoring is driving Adrian’s father mental.
Adrian wanting to get out of the house went to school, where he chose the subjects he was doing for his O Levels and CSE’s.
July 9th
School breaks up tomorrow and Pandora is going to Tunisia, Adrian doesn’t know how he will survive the separation.
July 10th
School was excellent, all the teachers seemed to be in really good moods, and even Scruton was seen laughing.
Barry Kent was seen hoisting his mother’s knickers on to the school flagpole.
One of Adrian’s neighbour’s son is turning nineteen and Adrian is invited over for the party.
July 11th
Adrian has had his first proper hangover; Pandora had to give Adrian a fireman’s lift from their neighbour’s house.
July 12th
Adrian, his father, Pandora and Bert went to the kennels to fetch Sabre, and when Adrian’s father refused to pay the fees the proprietor got very angry.
Bert and Sabre had a loving reunion which Adrian was very pleased to see.
July 13th
Adrian found out that they Indians who have moved in are called Mr and Mrs Singh, they are very nice and Bert was speaking in fluent Hindi to Mrs Singh.
July 14th
A social worker came round to talk to Bert, she was insisting that Bert go and stay at a old people’s residential home. Bert swore at the lady and said he was not going. Even Adrian’s father felt sorry for Bert but he refused to let Bert stay any longer.
July 15th
Bert has moved in with the Singhs and he is very happy, because his favourite food is curry.
July 16th
Adrian’s father got his redundancy cheque, he rang Doreen and asked her to celebrate with him.
Adrian has to be Max’s babysitter.
As soon as they left Max started shouted and screaming. Pandora rang and told him to try putting vodka into Max’s milk. It worked and within minutes Max was asleep.
July 17th
Pandora is going to Tunisia tomorrow, Adrian is distraught, he swears that if anything happened to her he would never smile again. And persuades his father to let him go to they airport and see Pandora off.
Adrian checked the map and was relieved to find that to get to Tunisia Pandora wouldn’t have to fly through the Bermuda triangle.
Adrian gave Pandora a book called Crash to read on the plane.
July 18th
On the coach Pandora read Crash, when they got to the airport Pandora fainted when her flight was called and her father had to carry her up the stairs.
July 19th
Adrian stayed in bed and looked up Tunisia again on the map.
July 20th
Adrian hasn’t received a postcard from Pandora yet.
July 21st
Bert came round and said that Tunisia was dangerous and full of hazards.
July 22nd
Adrian hasn’t had a postcard yet and is starting to get a bit worried.
July 23rd
The postman said that connections between Tunisia and England were diabolical and that in Tunisia the post system relied on camels.
July 24th
Adrian went to see Mr Singh he said that Tunisia was very unhygienic and dirty. Adrian is quite alarmed to find that he is the only one not to know anything about Tunisia.
July 25th
Adrian wrote a poem about Pandora and nearly cried, he is counting the hours until she comes back.
July 26th
Adrian had tea art his grandma’s house, he was depressed and when she asked him if he was constipated, Adrian nearly told her about his love. The he realised however that there was no point in explaining love to a seventy six year old woman.
July 27th
Adrian had a postcard from Pandora saying that she had arrived safely.
She also said that the economic condition was terrible, so instead of buying Adrian a present she gave it to a beggar, even the postman was disgusted.
July 28th
Adrian does not know how can even hold a pen. Their neighbour asked Adrian to help with the bunting; Adrian replied that it was his patriotic duty.
The neighbour said that if Adrian would climb the ladder and she would pass the buntings up to him. Adrian made the mistake of looking down, and was scared off so the neighbour did all the climbing. Adrian was feeling very nauseated and was glad when another neighbour took over.
The Singhs have flown the Union Jack from out of their window.
Adrian and his father watched the royal wedding fireworks on television, Adrian thought they were a waste of time and money.
July 29th
The day’s events were very chaotic because Adrian had to help with the party and separate Bert and his grandmother from arguing.
July 30th
Adrian has seen the Royal Wedding repeat seven times.
July 31st
Adrian is sick of the royal wedding.
Pandora is coming home tomorrow.
August 1st
Adrian has had a letter from his mother and Mr Lucas inviting him to go with them to Scotland.
Pandora’s flight has been postponed because there is a baggage handler strike.
August 2nd
Pandora’s flight is still delayed and her father got his American Express Card stolen by a beggar.
A camel bit Pandora’s mother and she is recovering in the Tunis airport.
Adrian thought it was wonderful to hear Pandora’s voice and he thought it was so clever of her to arrange the reverse call charge, so they talked for over half an hour.
August 3rd
The baggage handlers have struck an agreement with the Government and so with any luck Pandora should be back on Thursday.
August 4th
The agreement is being delayed, but they can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Pandora is surviving on Polo packets and dates.
August 5th
The baggage handlers have started work again, so Pandora should be home by Friday.
August 6th
Adrian’s father has refused reverse call charges from Tunisia, because their lines have been disconnected.
August 7th
Adrian rang Tunisia when his father was in the bath, afterwards he said that he was phoning the talking clock. Pandora’s flight and they should arrive around midnight.
August 8th
Pandora rang to say that she would be delayed because of electric failure signals.
Adrian assuming she would arrive at the local station got dressed and went to the local tube station; there was no sign of her or anyone else for two hours.
When he arrived back home he found that Pandora left a note saying they had taken a taxi from Central Leicester station.
Adrian went round to her house and they had a passionate reunion.
August 9th
Adrian touched Pandora’s bust today his penis keeps growing, he said it has a life of its own.
August 10th
Adrian and Pandora went to the swimming pool, Adrian sat in the gallery and watched, her skin has gone the colour of brown.
The went back to Adrian’s house, lit a josstick, put on Adrian’s Abba CD’s and sneaked a bottle of brandy upstairs but then Pandora developed a headache and went home.
August 11th
Adrian got a postcard from his mother saying that Mr Lucas is fulfilling her sexual desires and that Adrian should grow up and go to Scotland.
August 12th
Pandora thinks a trial of another separation may do some good to their relationship and that will strengthen their relationship.
Adrian is now thinking of going to Scotland after all.
August 13th
Adrian’s father is going to Skegness with Doreen and Max, and he expects Adrian to come and act as Max’s brother, Adrian decided he would go to Scotland.
August 14th
Adrian leaves the next day; he and Pandora had a tearful farewell.
Adrian is all packed and ready to go.
August 15th
Adrian’s father is not angry that Adrian is going to Scotland, he dropped Adrian to the station.
Once Adrian had got to Sheffield they left at once.
Mr Lucas has rented a lodge cabin, when they got to Scotland Adrian’s mother and her lover went to buy some cigars.
August 16th
There is a loch in front of the cabin, Adrian is finding it very boring and wants to go home.
August 17th
Adrian went to a local laundrette and met a boy called Hamish who is an American tourist, and is with is his mother on her fourth honeymoon.
August 18th
It rained all day.
August 19th
Adrian sent a postcard to Pandora and tried to ring her, on a reverse call charge but her father refused it.
August 20th
Adrian played cards with Hamish the two sets of adults have gone to see a waterfall, which Adrian thinks is extremely boring.
August 21st
Adrian walked into the nearest town, bought a Mars Bar, played Space Invaders, rang Pandora, walked back and went to bed.
August 22nd
Adrian went to see Rob Roy’s grave, it was over rated so he came back.
August 23rd
Adrian’s mother and her lover have made friends with a couple called Mr and Mrs Ball.
They went to see a castle together, when they got back because it was Mrs Ball’s birthday they celebrated and at five o’clock in the morning they climbed up a mountain.
August 24th
Adrian went to Edinburgh and saw the castle, bought a gift for Pandora and ate a haggis.
August 25th
Adrian went to Glencoe, there was nothing there, no shops a huge disappointment in Adrian’s opinion.
August 26th
Adrian went to Glasgow, the shops were all closed apart from a couple of DIY shops and Adrian intended to stay in the car a read his book but Mr Lucas forced him to look at the Glasgow gallery.
Adrian did not regret going, as the pictures were so beautiful, he hopes to bring Pandora there.
August 27th
Adrian and his mother bumped into some neighbours and they had a chat.
August 28th
Adrian thought Ben Nevis was yet again another disappointment. You couldn’t see where it began or ended, it was just a mass of trees.
Lucas fell into a little pond, Adrian was disappointed that it didn’t drown him.
August 29th
Adrian went for a walk with Hamish, he said that his mother was heading for her fourth divorce; he is going back to America on Monday.
August 30th
Adrian left at dawn, Lucas stopped at a souvenir shop and Adrian bought a couple of gifts, including a beautiful smooth pebble for Pandora.
As they were on their way back Adrian wrote a descriptive paragraph.
August 31st
Adrian’s father has forgotten his four digit pin code and therefore can’t withdraw any money, he had to borrow five pounds from Bert.
Pandora said that she sleeps with the pebble Adrian gave her, Adrian wished that pebble could be him instead.
September 1st
Mr Singh has gone to India to look after his aged parents, so Bert has moved back into his old house, Pandora and Adrian are going to clean it up.
September 2nd
Bert owes the council a lot of money Adrian saw his bill when he went round.
September 3rd
Bert’s house is a complete mess, he has bottles, pins and other items spread all across the floor.
Pandora put some carpet shampoo and claimed it would work.
September 4th
Adrian saw that the carpets had turned back to their original colour, Pandora put them out to dry outside.
September 5th
Adrian’s father took all Bert’s bottles to the dump and on the way his car broke down and he had to ring the AA. The man said that he didn’t need the automobile association but the alcoholics anonymous.
September 6th
Bert’s house looks great, everything is clean and tidy. They moved Bert’s bed to the lounge so he can watch television in bed.
September 7th
Adrian got a letter from Hamish, he showed it to his father, Bert and Pandora and none of them could understand it. Bert said all Americans were blighters as they joined in the war too late.
September 8th
School starts on Thursday, Adrian is growing so fast he will need a new school uniform.
September 9th
Adrian has made a list of all the things he will need for school.
Adrian’s father went out to buy it with many groans.
Pandora admired Adrian’s uniform and said he could be made a prefect.
September 10th
Adrian has been made a prefect and he is very proud.
He started all his new subjects.
The school is going to The British Museum and Adrian asked his father to give the coach fare, again he moaned.
September 11th
Adrian had a long talk with his English teacher, explaining that he was in a one parent family, the teacher said he didn’t care so long as his essays were good.
September 12th
Adrian went to the greengrocers and bought some apples.
At home he and his father talked about what sort of women/girls they liked.
September 13th
Adrian went to see Blossom, he is being sold to a couple in New Zealand and Pandora is getting a proper horse.
September 14th
Adrian tried to ring his mother because it was her birthday, but there was no answer, Adrian reckons she is still in bed with Lucas.
The school dinners are rubbish now, all unhealthy food.
September 15th
Adrian had to report Barry Kent for being late three times in a row.
September 16th
Adrian’s form is going to the British museum on Friday, Pandora is sitting next to him and she is bringing her newspaper so that they can have some privacy.
September 17th
Adrian’s form had a lecture on the British Museum and it was extremely boring.
September 18th and September 19th
All of the day’s events had been a total shambles, they got back to school at two o’clock in the morning.
Adrian and Pandora were the only ones to behave.
September 20th
Pandora’s parents are lodging a complaint to everyone they can think of.
September 21st
Adrian’s form tutor is on sick leave and all future trips have been cancelled.
September 22nd
Seeing as Barry stole from a shop, he was had up in front of the police. They dropped charges because he was only a child.
September 23rd
Mr Scruton gave two merit marks for being a good role model.
The British Museum are thinking of banning school visits.
September 24th
Pandora thinks Adrian is maturing very quickly.
September 25th
Adrian went conkering with Nigel; Adrian found five excellent ones that smashed Nigel’s conkers to a pulp.
September 26th
Adrian took Blossom to see Bert, because he can’t walk very far in his old age.
Bert got all weepy when he heard Blossom was being sold and said to the pony that they’lle both end up in the Knackers’ yard.
September 27th
Blossom was taken at half past ten, Pandora started to cry at the moment of parting and said she wanted to keep Blossom, but it was too late.
The new horse arrived in the afternoon, it had an evil look on its face and now Pandora wants to get rid of it. Pandora’s father therefore had to go and cancel the cheque.
September 28th
Bert has got something wrong with his legs, the doctor says he needs daily nursing, and the nurse said that he should be in an old people’s home.
Adrian went past the old people’s home on the way to school, it looks like a museum.
Adrian has written a poem about Bert.
September 29th
Bert doesn’t like the nurse, he objects to her mauling his privates, personally Adrian wouldn’t mind.
September 30th
Adrian is feeling depressed. Blossom is gone therefore Pandora is sad, Bert is about to die and his father is still unemployed.
October 1st
Adrian has woken up with his face covered in spots, he tried to hid this from Pandora but he had to confess during lunch.
Adrian noticed their kissing lacked their passion.
October 2nd
Adrian is feeling very depressed, he has once again turned to literature for solace, hover he is finding the books he is reading, boring.
October 3rd
Pandora is not talking to Adrian, he had to clean Bert’s house by himself.
He went shopping, Sainsbury have started to sell Christmas cakes.
Adrian feels his life is slipping away.
October 4th
Adrian persuaded Pandora to put her name down for the youth hiking expedition, Rick Lemmon is ending forms to their parents.
In preparation Adrian is trying to do some press ups, seventeen is his personal best.
October 5th
Bert has been ordered to go to the old people’s home by Social Services.
Sabre is being looked after by the RSPCA.
Adrian’s dog has gone missing.
October 6th
Pandora and Adrian went to see Bert; he looked so depressed and told them that he had to go to bed at nine thirty.
He shares a room with a very old man called Thomas Bell, Social Services painted Bert’s room orange, which had a very nauseating effect.
October 7th
Thomas Bell died in his sleep, now Bert is the oldest inmate in the house, he is very worried about dying. Pandora said woman live longer than men.
The dog is still missing and so Adrian put an advert in Mr Cherry’s shop.
October 8th
Adrian took Sabre to visit Bert.
The dog is still missing, presumed dead.
October 9th
The matron said that could go to Adrian’s house for Sunday lunch.
The phone bill came; Adrian hid it under his bed.
October 10th
Adrian, Pandora and Nigel have gone looking for the dog in their suburbs.
Adrian is really worried about his father, he sits in front of the television all day and has chips for lunch everyday.
October 11th
Bert and Pandora came round for Sunday lunch, when it was time to go Bert started crying begging the not to take him back to the old peoples home.
October 12th
Adrian and Pandora went to a lecture on survival techniques in preparation for their trip.
October 13th
The dog has been found at Adrian’s grandmother’s house.
October 14th
Adrian has made friends with a woman called Queenie at the old peoples home, she is knitting a balaclava for Adrian’s trip.
Adrian did thirty six and a half press-ups.
October 15th
Adrian went shopping today and bought twenty items which he would take with him, he only managed to fit twelve inside his bag. Adrian has decide not to take his diary as it would be too heavy.
October 18th
Adrian is back from his trip which was hell because there was not much ffod because all the packets leaked.
The bad weather resulted in it being a necessity to call for help.
Adrian doesn’t think he will be able to go to school as he has blisters on his feet.
October 19th
The doctor said that it was only a few blisters and there was nothing to worry about.
October 20th
Adrian cannot walk because his feet are hurting too much. His father provided him with three lots of bacon sandwiches which was all the food he got.
October 21st
Today it was parents evening and Adrian had to go to school.
The teachers told his father Adrian was a pleasure to teach.
October 22nd
Adrian was late for school, he got a shouting at by Mr Scruton.
October 23rd
Adrian got a call from the hospital to tell him that he can have his tonsils removed on Tuesday, apparently, Adrian’s father had him on the waiting list from the day he was born.
October 24th
Adrian went to buy some new pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers.
October 25th
Adrian rang his mother-there was no reply, Adrian assumed she was still in bed with Luca s
Adrian’s grandmother said tat she knew someone who bled to death while their tonsils were being taken out.
October 26th
Adrian said a farewell to Pandora and Bert and went to hospital, but they said to coe back the next day.
October 27th
Adrian was submitted into hospital, his mother came to see him around six.
Adrian is not allowed any drink or food, and therefore he hates it the hospital.
October 28th
Adrian has had the operation and has no tonsils but is now in an agony of pain.
October 29th
Adrian has been moved to a side ward, he had a card from Bert and Sabre.
October 30th
Adrian was able to have some of his grandma’s soup.
His father brought him a packet of crisps, which were like razors in his mouth.
October 31st
Adrian has been forced to complain about the signing at three in the morning by the nurses and off duty police officers.
November 1st
The nurses have been very cold to Adrian, they forced him to eat a bowl of cornflakes before they discharged him, but he refused.
November 2nd
The nurses have forced a bowl of cornflakes down Adrian, and therefore he has bee discharged.
November 3rd
Adrian is in his own bed, Pandora is a great help-they communicate without words.
Adrian feels his voice has bee damaged by the operation.
November 4th
Adrian finally spoke and told his father to ring up his mother.
Adrian’s farther was so happy that he started dancing.
November 5th
The doctor said that Adrian was just going though a bad patch during adolescence.
November 6th
Adrian’s father is taking Adrian to a bonfire night, where he is in chare of the fire.
November 7th
The bonfire night was a success, and although no one was seriously burn there were still a few minor accidents.
Adrian burnt the phone bill in the fire.
November 8th
The street is now filled with smoke. Adrian went to see the fire and luckily he couldn’t see the phone bill remains.
He went to see Bert; however, he was out with Queenie.
November 9th
Adrian has gone back to school.
The dog is having an operation, so Adrian dropped off at the vet.
November 10th
Adrian’s nipples have swollen-he is turning into a girl.
November 11th
Adrian got a telling off from the doctor said that nipple swelling is yet another stage of adolescence. Adrian was told that he was immature-which he seriously objected to
November 12th
Adrian told his P.E. teacher that he couldn’t do P.E. because his nipples had swollen, his teacher just laughed.
November 13th
Adrian and Pandora had a talk about their future. Pandora wanted to go to university before they married and have a career.
Adrian cried after she left.
November 14th
The dog had come back from the vet, cured.
Adrian went to visit Bert, but again he was out with Queenie.
November 15th
Adrian wishes he could have an intellectual as friend, who he could discuss literature with.
November 16th
Adrian has got a headache from all the shouting of teachers at school.
November 17th
Adrian’s grandmother has sent some bootees to Buckingham Palace.
November 18th
Adrian wrote a poem and sent it to John Tydeman.
Adrian hopes it gets printed, or Pandora will loose all respect for him.
November 19th
Pandora suggested writing a school magazine.
November 20th
Adrian has started writing the magazine.
He has made a group of editors-who will help him.
November 21st
Adrian is writing an article about Barry Kent. H e knows when it is printed Barry will not touch Adrian.
November 22nd
Adrian finished the article on Barry Kent, Adrian feels that when it is printed, everyone will know the truth about Barry Kent.
November 23rd
Adrian had a letter from the post office saying the phone has been cut off-now Adrian is in a panic.
November 24th
Nigel has submitted an article on the wheel of the bicycle, in contained one thousand five hundred words. Adrian rejected it.
November 25th
The secretary refused to photocopy the magazine and now Adrian is very worried.
November 26th
Pandora’s father is printing the magazine. At first he refused, but when Pandora went to her room and sulked, he relented.
November 27th
Not a single pupil bought a copy of the magazine. Therefore tthey have decided to lower the price to twenty pence on Monday.
November 28th
Adrian has received a telegram from his mother.
The phone has been cut off, Adrian is considering running away fro home.
November 29th
Adrian’s mother has arrived back home. His father didn’t ask any questions, they are now in bed.
November 30th
Adrian sold one copy of the magazine to Barry Kent, he bought it discover the truth.
Adrian’s mother and father are still in bed.
December 1st
Adrian rang up the post office and pretended to be his father and he said that he was is a mental home and therefore pay the telephone bills-they said if the bills were not paid before that evening the price would go up.
December 2nd
Adrian’s father tried to use the phone, when he heard it had been disconnected he went mad.
When Adrian’s mother was cleaning out Adrian’s room, she found the phone bill.
Adrian is going have to pay the bills himself.
December 3rd
Adrian withdrew all of his savings; he admitted that there were tears in his eyes as he handed the money over to his father.
December 4th
Adrian is depressed; he states that it is all Pandora’s fathers fault, as he should have gone on holiday in England.
December 5th
Adrian too depressed to write any Christmas cards out.
December 6th
Adrian is not allowed out and his parents are not talking o him.
December 7th
Adrian stole a Kevin Keegan key ring from Mr Cherry’s shop, for Nigel’s Christmas present.
December 8th
Adrian is worried about the key ring.
December 9th
Adrian had nightmares of him stealing from banks and being caught.
Adrian tried to overpay Mr Cherry for a Mars bar, but he recalled Adrian and he gave Adrian the correct change.
December 10th
Adrian had another bad dream.
The phone has been reconnected.
December 11th
Adrian rang up the Samaritans and confessed his crime, the man on the line aid to put it back.
December 12th
Mr Cherry saw Adrian replace the key ring, he is writing to Adrian’s parents.
December 13th
Adrian is thankful there is no post on Sundays.
Adrian’s parents are putting up the Christmas tree.
December 14th
The letter addressed to Adrian’s parents turned out not to be a letter explaining Adrian crime but the paper bill.
December 15th
Adrian is now on speaking terms with his parents and his mother explained why she left Lucas.
December 16th
Adrian is acting in a Nativity play at school, he is Joseph and Pandora is Mary and the smallest first year is Jesus.
December 17th
Adrian had another rejection from the BBC, he replied to John Tdyeman asking him how much the BBC would pay to broadcast his poems.
December 18th
The play is a modern play, the rehearsal was a disaster, Peter who was playing Jesus couldn’t fit in his crib, so the woodwork had to make a new one.
Sctuton was watching from the back of the hall, afterwards he shouted at the Drama teacher for not following the traditional version of the Nativity.
December 19th
Adrian has no money, however if Adrian finds a ten pound note on the street he has made a list of the presents he would buy.
December 20th
Adrian and Pandora had a private rehearsal of the play, until Adrian’s father came up and told them to shut up.
Adrian’s mother said that she was going to wear the fur fox coat (which Adrian had lent to Pandora) at the school play.
Adrian rushed over to Pandora’s house, but Pandora had lent it to her mother to go to a charity dinner.
December 21st
In the morning Adrian rushed over to Pandora’s house and took the fox fur coat.
December 22nd
School was closed today because lots of snow, in the afternoon the Drama teacher braved it out to prepare for the concert.
In the evening the concert was alright, the first half was rubbish, but according to Adrian the play was the best.
December 23rd
Adrian is still penniless and it is two days before Christmas, he has decided to go carol signing at the local pub, he made three pounds fifty.
December 24th
Adrian bought Bert some cigars, Bert was angry as he said Adrian hadn’t visited him for a long time.
Adrian went to Woolworths to buy some perfume for Pandora.
In the evening he and Pandora went carol singing, they made twelve pounds fifty.
December 25th
For Christmas Adrian got a bike. He was so proud.
Bert and Queenie came over, also Adrian’s mother’s cousins cam over (The Sudgens)
They ate lunch and listened to the Queen’s speech. The Sudgens went to bed very early.
December 26th
Adrian went to his Grandma’s houses to have some mince pies.
He went to give Pandora her present and pick her up for the pantomime.
The pantomime was good, but a bit too childish.
December 27th
The Sudgens have one back home.
The house is a mess and Adrian’s parents have retreated to bed with a bottle of Vodka.
December 28th
Adrian is in trouble for leaving his bike out in the rain.
December 29th
Adrian’s father is in a bad mood because there is no more sherry left, so he had to go to Pandora’s house to borrow a bottle of spirit.
December 30th
The house is still in a mess because Adrian’s parents haven’t .bothered to clean it up.
December 31st
Adrian’s parents have gone out for a dinner and dance. Adrian and Pandora brought the New Year in together.
January 1st
Adrian has made a list of New Year resolutions.
January 2nd
Adrian has got a dictionary for Christmas, so he looked up a new word in it.
January 3rd
Adrian has found another interesting word in the dictionary.
January 4th
Adrian has found another interesting word in the dictionary.
January 5th
Adrian has found another interesting word in the dictionary.
January 6th
Adrian is worried about his CSE’s so he has promised himself to work harder.
January 7th
Nigel came round, he looked at Adrian’s bike, he said it was mass produced, whereas his was handmade especially for him.
Adrian has gone a bit off Nigel.
January 8th
Adrian has been invited to Bert and Queenie’s wedding.
It has started to snow again, Adrian has asked his mother to buy him some special boots, but she came home with the common ones.
January 9th
Nigel is saying the world was going to end because of the eclipse (it didn’t).
January 10th
Adrian can’t understand why his father looks so old compared to President Reegan.
January 11th
Adrian is thinking of writing to the British Museum as that is where all the intellectuals hang out.
January 12th
Adrian and Pandora went to the youth club and Rick lead a discussion sex, he showed some interesting photos of wombs cut open.
January 13th
Pandora’s parents have had a massive row about politics-they are now not speaking to each other.
January 14th
Pandora’s father has admitted he is a Bennite.
January 15th
Adrian is relived that the snow is melting as he wants to go out.
January 16th
Bert and Queenie’s wedding was very tiring as Adrian had to push the wheelchair.
January 17th
Adrian had a dream about a book he read, he was extremely confused on why he had had that dream.
January 18th
Adrian has loads of CSE homework, Adrian is an intellectual but he is not clever.
January 19th
Adrian brought four hundred and eighty school magazines (Mr Jones needed the PE cupboard).
January 20th
Adrian has two and a half hour of homework-Adrian says he will crack under the strain.
January 21st
Adrian’s head is hurting, he had to translate two pages of Macbeth into modern English.
January 22nd
Adrian is scared about his future according to his teacher his work is perfectly satisfactory but Pandora’s work is excellent.
January 23rd
Adrian stayed in bed all day and did his Geography homework.
January 24th
Adrian’s mother advised Adrian to stop reading to help he concentrate.
January 25th
Adrian couldn’t do his Maths homework, he rang up the Samaritans, the kind man gave Adrian the answer.
January 26th
The Samaritan got the answer wrong-Adrian only got six out of twenty, Pandora got twenty.
January 27th
Adrian’s mother is holding a woman’s rights meeting in their front room, Adrian can’t concentrate because of all the shouting.
January 28th
Adrian got fifteen out of twenty for his History test, of course Pandora got twenty.
January 29th
Adrian came home early because he was ill, he found his father watching play school, Adrian was too shocked to speak.
January 30th
Adrian can’t write as he has a migraine.
January 31st
Pandora came round, Adrian copied her homework and felt slightly better.
February 1st
Adrian’s father has been given an threat, either he gets a job, does the housework or leaves. He is looking for a job.
February 2nd
Adrian’s grandmother has come round to tell Adrian about her weekly spiritual meeting, she said that a lady saw God.
February 3rd
Adrian has got all his credit cards taken off him as he was in too much debt and he only has a few pence left of his redundancy pay. Adrian’s mother is now looking for a jib.
February 4th
Adrian went to see Bert and Queenie in their cottage which is filled with junk, which Sabre keeps knocking over. The couple seems happy, but Adrian thinks that their sex life can’t be amounting to much.
February 5th
Adrian has to write an essay on the causes of The Second World War, Adrian thinks this is a stupid essay.
February 6th
Adrian copied the essay out of the encyclopaedia.
Adrian’s mother has gone to a workshop on self defence.
February 7th
Adrian’s parents stayed in bed all day doing nothing but reading the paper, Adrian is dying for lack of activity or stimulation.
February 8th
Adrian’s mother has found a job for collecting money from Space Invaders game machines-she starts tomorrow.
February 9th
Adrian’s mother has given up her job because she is too sexually harassed and is allergic to ten pence coins.
February 10th
Adrian’s father is starting a business that sells shelves for spices and other things; Adrian is feeling very proud as he in his opinion is a director’s son.
February 11th
Adrian and his father delivered Mrs Singh’s spice rack, after they had installed it they had a cup of horrible Indian sticky tea.
After they left Adrian’s father bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate their first sale, Adrian thinks he has no respect for capital investment.
February 12th
Pandora has gone into London with her father to hear Torry Ben speak, Pandora’s mother has
gone to a Conservative meeting.
February 13th
Pandora has a passing crush on Torry Ben.
February 14th
Adrian got a card from Pandora saying that she loved him, he sent one in return.
Adrian’s mother received a card from Sheffield which she consequently tore up.
February 15th
Adrian’s mother received a call from Sheffield, according Adrian’s mother Lucas started crying on the phone.
February 16th
Mrs Singh came over to complain about her spice rack, Adrian’s father was hiding behind the coal shed, so his wife had to apologise on his behalf.
February 17th
Miss Elf told Adrian’s class about her boyfriend who is a Master of Arts and hasn’t got a job, Adrian wonders of what chances he will get of getting a job. She also said that Scruton should be ashamed of having a picture of Thatcher of his desk.
February 18th
Someone has vandalised the picture of Thatcher over Scruton’s desk-everyone has to now take handwriting tests.
February 19th
Miss Elf has resigned, Adrian is sad because he liked her.
February 20th
Adrian and some of his friends have formed a political group called the Pink Brigade, tackling issues such as poverty.
One of the member’s fathers is greengrocer, his daughter asked if he could give all the unwanted food to the homeless, however he bluntly refused.
February 21st
Adrian had an argument on paper his father reads. Adrian says he should be reading proper stuff however his father maintains that the Daily Star is proper stuff. Adrian’s mother is not taking a real interest-she is hooked to her books.
February 22nd
Adrian has spots once again, he is very frustrated, he told Pandora, who said that she was not going to let their sexual relationship suffer because of Adrian having a few spots.
February 23rd
Adrian had lots of pancakes today –twenty to be precise, he now feels extremely guilty that third world countries don’t get much food.
February 24th
All the dinner ladies have been fired, all school dinner come pre packed from a central kitchen. Adrian would have made a protest, but he has got a geography test tomorrow.
February 25th
Adrian got fifteen out of twenty in his geography test, he lost a mark for saying the Falklands belonged to Argentina.
February 26th
Adrian says his general physique is getting better, he is no longer the person who gets their head kicked, but watches someone else get their head kicked.
February 27th
Adrian’s father is out of business-he hasn’t sold a single spice rack for a week. They are now living off social security money.
February 28th
Adrian had a below the pound meal today, his other said that they are very poor.
March 1st
Adrian’s parents have stopped smoking, they have had their first argument since Adrian’s mother came home-Adrian blames it their withdrawal.
March 2nd
Adrian’s parents are suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms and now Adrian is feeling quite sorry for them.
March 3rd
Adrian’s father has got an interview for a job, after he got back he was feeling ill so he went to bed quite early.
March 4th
There is no news about the job, Adrian is spending most of the time out of the house-he wishes they would start smoking again.
March 5th
Adrian’s father has got the job –he starts on Monday, Adrian is pleased because now they have started smoking again.
March 6th
Adrian and Pandora went to go and see the canal where Adrian’s father would be working, it looks alright, however Pandora thought it was a bit dirty.
March 7th
Adrian’s father went to see the canal, when he came home he looked sad, Adrian doesn’t think he will turn up for work the next day.
March 8th
Adrian went to the canal today after school, the workers there were all convicts let out on bail. Adrian’s father told him to go home.
March 9th
Adrian’s schoolwork is going downhill, he thinks he may be anorexic.
March 10th
Adrian’s father has asked Adrian not to bring Pandora to the canal as she distracts the workers.
March 11th
Pandora and her mother have joined Adrian’s mother’s woman’s meeting.
Adrian’s father has opened a crèche to earn some more money.
March 12th
Adrian’s father had a good day at work so he brought round his workers to celebrate. One of his workers is going to help Adrian mend his bike.
March 13th
One of the workers offered Adrian a sniff of his glue-Adrian declined.
March 14th
All the women Adrian knows have gone to protest about the woman rights.
March 15th
Adrian is currently in love with Sally. Adrian feels he is trapped in a love triangle.
March 16th
Pandora and Sally had a fight, Pandora said she believed in the principle of non-violence.
March 17th
There was a big racket from the street, one of Adrian’s neighbours have been brought back severely drunk from the pub.
March 18th
Adrian swears that if he fails his O Levels it will be all his parent’s fault.
March 19th
Adrian wrote an essay and Pandora said it will be the best one he ever writes.
March 20th
Adrian’s mother got her hair shaved off in protest
March 21st
Adrian got his mother a card and sweets for two pounds for Mr Cherry’s newsagents.
March 22nd
Adrian has put all his books in order, he currently has one hundred and fifty one.
March 23rd
Adrian is looking forward to his birthday in eleven days time.
March 24th
Adrian is worried about his ears because they stick out at an angle of ninety degrees.
March 25th
Adrian has had a spiritual awakening, two men said that they were representing the Sunshine Church and their aim was for international peace and that membership is twenty pounds, Adrian has a great urge to go.
March 26th
Adrian tried to persuade Pandora to join however she refused.
March 27th
Adrian’s father refused to pay the twenty pounds and said it was a load of rubbish, Adrian was forced to agree.
March 28th
Adrian’s father forget to turn the clocks back so Adrian was an hour late for the Pink Bigrade meeting.
March 29th
Adrian sat next to a girl called Barbra at lunch, she spotted many faults about Pandora, Adrian was forced to agree.
March 30th
Adrian has now entered into a non-sexual relationship with Barbra, again he finds himself trapped in a love triangle, and Nigel is the only one who knows.
March 31st
Nigel told the whole school about Adrian and Barbra, when Pandora found out she had to go to the matron’s office for the whole afternoon.
April 1st
Adrian rang Barbra and Barbra told Adrian that their brief relationship is over as Barbra now feels sorry for Pandora.
April 2nd
Adrian is fifteen, he got loads of cards and a model aeroplane which he can build from Bert, the workers at the canal gave Adrian some glue. Pandora completely ignored Adrian’s birthday.
April 3rd
It is official, England is at war with Argentina, when Adrian told his father, he jumped out of bed, until Adrian told him that the Falklands were eighty six thousand miles from England did he crawl back to bed.
Adrian was making the toy aeroplane. After he had finished, he had a little sniff of the glue, it stuck to his nose. His father took him too A&E, and the doctor laughed and put on Adrian’s patients car that Adrian was a glue sniffer Adrian rang up Pandora, she has forgiven him and is coming to see him. Adrian finally says that love is the only thing that keeps him sane.