A lot of the imagery used in the beginning of the poem is based on food: such as an orange split open, candy striped bangles, apple green. These are all sweet foods and in a way, they describe the sweetness of the clothes. However, it says “the candy striped bangles, snapped and drew blood” perhaps this suggests how her tradition harms the poet and how impractical it is for her to wear them for the active life of a woman in the west. She feels awkward wearing these clothes and bangles and feels that denim and corduroy would e more appropriate. In contrast, the relatives would like conventional English clothes.
Being in England, the poet feels alienated by wearing the beautiful clothes, as it’s unusual for the English to wear such brightly coloured clothes. This is already a matter of internal conflict for her.
The “satin silk tops” are things of beauty but she says she was alien in the sitting room whilst trying them on, indicating that the sitting room is in England where they look foreign. She also feels slightly intimidated by the clothes, saying “I could never be as lovely as those clothes” she then says “my costume clung to me and I was aflame. I couldn’t rise up out of its fire” this implies she felt uncomfortable in the clothes and she thought she could never look as lovely as them, unlike her aunt Jamilla. Or perhaps, as fire has a purifying effect, she felt that she couldn’t be fully purified, as she was half English and half Pakistani.
The poem says that she “longs” for denim and corduroy indicating her English side, but she also wants her parent’s Pakistani camel skin lamp. When the lamp is switched on, it shows a wonderful array of colours, but when it’s off it becomes dull. Maybe this represents the colourfulness of the Pakistani culture in comparison to the dullness of the English culture. She feels that she is tortured as she is forever having to switch cultures. She wants to be part of only one.
She says “the presents are radiant in my wardrobe” this reinforces the fact that they can only be appreciated from a distance and she feels uncomfortable wearing them. The senders of the gifts ironically want boring m&s cardigans in return.
“miniature glass circles” the tiny mirrors sewn onto the material, seem to be a way of recreating her identity in the country she left. However, all she sees is a fragmented picture of her. This reflects the way she feels. She tries to recall her parents’ story of her journey to England by oat and uses photographs to help her visualise her birth place. The mirrors also reveal her aunts and how they live, and finally herself of “no fixed nationality” in Pakistan looking at the Shalimar gardens.
The poem is written and laid out in a loosely arranged way. Perhaps this represents the way she is feeling “unfixed”, not part of a culture, but hovering around two.
