And that was my finale, no questions, no reasoning; my time was up with no debate. There was nothing that I could say or do to change it, there were so many things I wanted to say and so many I shouldn’t have. There was no turning back.
Standing in the middle of that busy street, as the crowd dispersed, the flow of gossip began to rush along the street. Tragic some said, but I had no self pity just a churning torment in the very pit of my stomach.
In a daze I stepped off the kerb onto the main road, the roar of an engine, as I turned it seemed too late as the bus rumbled on. I felt nothing, not a scratch nor a bruise. I felt invincible, yet it occurred to me that I was invisible.
I began to walk, with no intentional aim I arrived at the school. A small, pretty white building cornered with flower beds. The sweet song of children laughing echoed from the playground. I gripped the rusty iron gates, the orange red flakes peeling into my hands.
And there she was, with a beautiful white bow tied around her golden locks that I had tied that very morning. She sat on the grass with a friend, dress over her knees picking daisies. As they edged nearer the gates she picked a charming blue bell, she told her friend that she would save it to give to her mum, and I wouldn’t be there for her.
I sat watching for a while; I adored the way that she had no care in the world, full of innocents and spontaneity. I felt like a thief about to steal those things for as soon as she discovered the news that awaited her, they would be gone forever.
Days passed and the post mortem began to take place. The building seemed to house horror itself. The bareness of the walls made it all the more petrifying as the minutest of sounds were amplified a thousand times. The clicking of the receptionists pen, the creak of the chair, the clang of shoes rushing down the stairs. The automatic doors opened as I entered and the hard faced receptionist look straight at me, she seemed almost curious as to why they had opened for no apparent reason.
Eventually I found myself, a naked grey door, with a single name plate. The letters slightly faded as if I, one of many had no great importance to the world. The patter of foot steps came from down the corridor. Edging nearer to the wall as the forensic team strutted down the corridor. They spoke in low muffled voices, they entered my room. They surrounded my body; pulling back the sheet I seemed stiff almost as if I was tensed and embarrassed, icy and white.
One began to take photos another scouring me for clues. Suddenly as I stood by the wall I felt immense pain in my stomach, doubled over with pain I staggered closer to find one of them cutting just to the right of my belly button. The wine-coloured blood oozed from the tiny puncture the glistening blade stained, now ruby.
The discomfort came to a sudden halt, I stood up, fine. I followed myself on the trolley as I was wheeled away down the long white corridor. Two women came from a room, happily chatting removing ghastly stained gloves and placing them into a dustbin. Following me we entered a dimly lit room; there was a single four poster bed in the middle. It had burgundy velvet curtains surrounding it all ties back with gold platted rope.
I was dressed in a white gown and placed into the bed. The top sheet was also red velvet with a golden fringe, my hands we placed above the sheet and my head lightly on the pillows. The two women did my hair and lightly powdered me with make up, almost trying to simulate that I was alive. They replaced my wedding ring on my finger placed a bible and a picture of Mary and Jesus by my bed along with a chair. Finally, the room was lit with candles and the two women left. I stood just looking at myself, standing from the foot of the bed.
A dark figure appeared in the door way. Andrew. He slowly, cautiously walked towards me gently brushing past my arm; at that point I am sure he felt my presence even if it was sub consciously. He sat down in the chair by my side. He gently lifted my hand and held it, then bringing it nearer he softly kissed my hand creating a warm ripple like sensation along my arm.
Then, still clutching my hand he removed the ring that he had given me all of those years before and set it aside. Beneath it there was a ring of white, unweathered skin. Tenderly, he followed the line with his finger and explained that his love would encircle me forever. As he stood up he stroked my face and delicately brushed my lips with his, a tear falling from his eye onto my nose. And that’s where it stayed and it glistened.
