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Argumentative Writing - Are we too dependent on computers?

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  • Essay length: 1096 words
  • Submitted: 08/06/2009
  • Marked by teacher: (?) Jeff Taylor
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GCSE Writing to Argue, Persuade and Advise

Teacher essay summary

3 star(s)

This essay is an attempt to discuss the topic and makes some valid points but it relies too much on unsupported "evidence" and broad statements, such as "most people spend at least 48% of their time on a screen".

Sentence construction is frequently loose, causing the reader some confusion in following the argument, and grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreements, are common.

3 stars

Marked by teacher Jeff Taylor 20/05/2013

The first 200 words of this essay...

Computers are now the essense of the lives of modern day generation. There are so many reasons to why we would be so absorbed in the functions of computers. Isn't it unbelievable that almost forty years ago there were many people who had never seen a computer before? In the present century, there are computers at almost every corner in the world. There are computers at malls and offices, almost every house in this city (Hong Kong, China). If it is not a personal computer, it is a video game system or a laptop computer. There are even cell phones with the capabilities of a computer! A computer program can perform almost any task that requires a speck of brain power. For example, executing informative information or data, handling data, and operating file systems or production factors (especially flow and automative production in the business industry). Computers enable us to work faster than ever, more efficiently and do jobs that previously must be done by employing people to do.

The main question now lies in whether we are all too dependent on computers. Whether we are adults, teenagers, elderlies or even children, everyone seem to be

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MbT essay summary

This essay is an attempt to discuss the topic and makes some valid points but it relies too much on unsupported "evidence" and broad statements, such as "most people spend at least 48% of their time on a screen".

Sentence construction is frequently loose, causing the reader some confusion in following the argument, and grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreements, are common.

3 stars

Marked by teacher Jeff Taylor 20/05/2013

Marked by a teacher

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