Argumentative Writing - Are we too dependent on computers?

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Argumentative Writing

Are We Too Dependent On Computers?

Computers are now the essense of the lives of modern day generation. There are so many reasons to why we would be so absorbed in the functions of computers. Isn't it unbelievable that almost forty years ago there were many people who had never seen a computer before? In the present century, there are computers at almost every corner in the world. There are computers at malls and offices, almost every house in this city (Hong Kong, China). If it is not a personal computer, it is a video game system or a laptop computer. There are even cell phones with the capabilities of a computer! A computer program can perform almost any task that requires a speck of brain power. For example, executing informative information or data, handling data, and operating file systems or production factors (especially flow and automative production in the business industry). Computers enable us to work faster than ever, more efficiently and do jobs that previously must be done by employing people to do.

The main question now lies in whether we are all too dependent on computers. Whether we are adults, teenagers, elderlies or even children, everyone seem to be almost obsessed with or so indulged in the functions modern day technology provides us with that it is becoming a culture the new generation is bringing. Should this change? How much more evidence is needed except to know that most people spend atleast 48% of their time on a screen and that, yes, we are addicted?

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Many people spend their time on the computer because it is informative, a good way to interact with others, useful in many ways, environmental (depending on how you view this), and we can save time completing complicated tasks in a short time. Instead of leaving the apartment to go for a walk or a jog at the park, contributing in communities in the reality, or community services, we sit at our desk typing away. Which is 1. Extremely unhealthy, this may cause various eating disorders to happen and or diseases because of the environment we are engrossed in; 2. Can ...

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This essay is an attempt to discuss the topic and makes some valid points but it relies too much on unsupported "evidence" and broad statements, such as "most people spend at least 48% of their time on a screen". Sentence construction is frequently loose, causing the reader some confusion in following the argument, and grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreements, are common. 3 stars