“Hi”, I said nervously.
First she looked intimidated but to my relief she repiled with a gleeful “Hello”. From then this girl and me grew closer in friendship. She is now a significant soul in my life. That’s the day I met Damilola.
When I found out that she was going to the same secondnary school as me I knew straight away that I was going to be alright. However, the thought of secondnary school frightened me. I saw my brother go through secondnary school. I remember the day how he got beaten up. I walked in my gran’s house to see my brother on her bed with blood pouring down his neck. I was around eight years old. Nothing embraced me of what I saw. I was too shocked to realise what had happened. That put me off of secondnary schools immediately.
When I finally started secondnary school, Clapton Girls’ Technology College, I had an endless question in my head which I couldn’t manage to anwser, was this the right school for me?
I’ve had a lot of inconvenient periods in the past and i’ve had some pleasurable times in Clapton Girls’, when I actually would come home to my mum and say “Mum, today was a brilliant day”. But mostly my time in this school was disgraceful.
The significant occurrence in Clapton Girls’ has to be the most stressful part of my life
I remember I had my first phone call from a man, with a deep degrading voice, claiming to be a teacher in my school. He stated all the humiliating acts he was going to perform on me. I kept picturing, imagining, this man, who he declared he was, actually accomplishing his vile fantasies.
It almost felt like I was living in a dream, nothing was realistic. It was like I couldn’t wake up and come to my senses. Night after night I would have detailed, graphic nightmares, nightmares that I concealed within myself. I have been mentally affected and I’ve started to become paranoid.
I informed the teachers, they gave me and an inch of support. The incident was then transferred to the police. Countless hours of police time was spent on this unfortunate time. But something unexpected happened; teachers turned against me. Its funny, when students used to say “Teacher don’t treat me fair”. I’d be like, “Yeah, ok”, but now I recognize how those students actually felt. A few teachers have stated to me that they want me removed from their school. I felt like a thousand blades had struck my back. I felt unwanted, out of place like an ‘RnB’ fan in a heavy rock concert.
I had teachers downgrading me, making me feel worthless. Teachers telling my friends that I’m lying about this situation. Teachers telling me to forget about everything, basically to keep this a secret from the other students and the public. I can’t forget my ordeal. I’m only fourteen and I haven’t been through anything within this genre. How was I meant deal with this let alone forget it. I know I will have to move on but it will take time and people have to understand that.
Since the end of May 2002 up to now, I’ve been going through miraculous changes, changes that I welcome and changes that I don’t. I’ve come to realise that I have become more vunerable in certain situations. I don’t know how to manage with dangerous incidents.
I feel that this subject is relevent to include in my autobiography. It shows the real me. How I am. How I feel. This has to be the most intimate part of my autobiography.
My friends and family have been my sanity. I felt as if I was going through a nervous breakdown but I disguised it with fake smiles and fake laughs. I would like to give my appreciation and thanks to the teachers who have given me the right support and give my love to 9C- my real class, my real mates.
In the future I want to mature into a successful lawyer. My dream of becoming one started way back in my primary school days. I remember telling my dad what I wanted to become, his face lit up like a bright lightbulb. I saw a gratified glow in his eyes. From then on, I’ve stuck to my ultimate dream and decided, I WANT TO BE A LAWYER!
I think I’ll be good for the job. I am very argumentative. I know when to stand up for my rights and I’ve got a thunderous voice! I hope my dream are fulfilled. It’s all up to God
I keep me religion discreet because when I do produce it to other people, they try to turn me against my beliefs. I believe in God and I know He is watching over me. He has got me through the difficult times so far and I thank and love Him for that.
I hope, in the future, I live a victorious life, a life that I will be proud of. I hope to have a ‘fairytale wedding’ which consist of me, in my lovely flowing white gown, and my husband, looking well-groomed in his black suit, living happily ever after.
Well, my autobiography exterminates here. I hope you have enjoyed reading an extract of my life and I hope everything goes well for me from now on.
