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Beneath - Original writing.

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Original Writing - Lavanya Jeyatheiran Beneath Psychoanalysis begins. Monday morning, it was a big rush. I had to pack the kids' lunches and watch after them as they left for school. It was Kelly's first day at junior school, and Michelle's at secondary school. I don't know why, but as I shut the front door I had flash backs of my first day at secondary school. I got worried. Michelle is a lot like me when I was her age. To my children, I am a normal nice mother, ordinary like everyone else's mother. That is how they see me. They know nothing about my past... It was an excruciatingly hot and sunny day - July 30th 1993. I dreaded the moment the sunrise began. I felt a huge lump at the back of my throat, my head was pounding, and droplets of cold sweat trickled down my forehead. I used to be a normal, quiet, and well behaved person but, all that changed when I met Camryn Barnes. After the first three times, I promised myself I would never do it again. Yet here I was with the hammer in my hand smashing the new lock on the school gate. It fell to the ground making a loud sudden noise, which made me jump even though it was expected. ...read more.


Wasn't killing Jackie's budgie, Peter's cat and Ellie's turtle enough? Why Dr Daniel's hamster? Why?" Camryn stood up with a frown creasing up near her finely plucked eyebrows. "What's wrong with you? Dr Daniels failed me in English! I worked so hard for him! He got what he deserved!" A sudden anger flushed through my body, "Like the others got what they deserved?!" Looking at Camryn, and seeing her satisfied realization from her manipulation, I had to leave. I walked home, showered and then lay in bed. I remember glancing at my digital clock... it read 6:16am. I tried so hard, but failed to fall asleep. It was only a few hours, but seemed like days passing by. Eventually my mother came into my room to see why I was not ready for school. "I don't feel well," I murmured. Mother carelessly shook her head and left me alone. A month ago I used to be really close to my mother, but now I just seem to want to push her away and out of my life. It was almost as if I surrendered everything I loved for Camryn. My mother, my old friends and, my self respect. Eventually I fell asleep. Beneath my closed eyes, my thoughts swivelled in front of my eyes. ...read more.


The one I saw in my dream... or close enough anyway. I inhaled the stench of wet moss, the silence around me was deafening. I took a second glance at the lake. I kneeled down and touched the water. Beautiful cold water, ripples glistening. I took a deep breath - One, two, three. I plunged forward. I lay there for a few minutes, and then I felt myself being lifted out of the water. I opened my eyes and struggled to sit up but a man was saying, "No, lie down; you are going to be fine." I remember seeing flashing lights and hearing a policeman's car siren. After that traumatic experience and a few counselling sessions, my mother decided it was best for us to move. We went to Birmingham. I tried to move on, but all those memories from killing those innocent creatures for revenge came back to haunt me. Years went by, I got married and had two children. I promised myself that my history would not repeat itself. I did not want to raise my children to be spineless, cold murderers. Sometimes I try to forget about my past, but deep down I know that the past will always lie beneath me. 4:00pm.The kids should be home any minute now. I heard keys rustling through the door. I put the kettle on. Everything should be fine now. Psychoanalysis is now complete. I moved on...right? ...read more.

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