TONY climbs over the bush
Tony (mumbling) Bloody ring, got me hidin’ behind a bloody bush
Rita Shush, someone’s coming!
BARBARA enters eating an orange and walks up onto the porch, she stops and looks to see if there is anyone awake in the house.
That’s her!
Tony (confused) Who, Billy?
Rita No, her with the ring!
RITA jumps up and runs straight at BARBARA, knocking her to the ground. TONY watches in amazement as they roll into the next garden, still fighting.
ARTHUR enters looking at his feet and walks onto the porch, oblivious to the fight happening in the next garden along.
He carries on walking until he sees the feet of enraged TONY. He looks up.
Tony Muck around with my sister will you!
Before ARTHUR has a chance to explain TONY whacks him round the head with the wooden baton, knocking him out cold.
Tony Got him! Rita I got the swine!... Rita?
TONY look in horror at the unconscious body of RITA lying on the floor, an orange stuffed in her mouth. BARBARA is lying next to her, apparently unconscious.
Bloody hell!
He claps his hand over his mouth and looks away. BARBARA arises stealthily, and, showing much more aggression than earlier though possible charges at TONY and jumps on his back, knocking him to the ground.
Barbara (stuffing another orange into TONY’s mouth, he is struggling underneath) The…Ring…Is………Mine!
With one final burst on energy BARBARA succeeds in stuffing an orange into TONY’s mouth. He stops struggling and becomes limp on the floor.
BARBARA gets up and begins to dust herself off.
LIZ enters and walks onto the porch, stepping over the bodies, showing absolutely no surprise at the strange scene. She sees BARBARA, who turns around.
Barbara (still slightly angry) Who are you? Have you come for the ring as well?
Liz No, I haven’t come for that rotten ring, I’ve come to see Billy. I tell you that boys got a lot of explaining to do.
Barbara (now fully calm) Me to. I’m his fiancé you see, and so, apparently, is she. (points to Rita)
Liz Aye, he told me about that. Anyway, I can tell by the orange that you’re Barbara. Nice to meet you (holds out her hand), I’m Billy’s long term girlfriend, Liz.
Barbara (shocked) Long term…… girlfriend?
Liz Aye, didn’t he tell you?
Barbara Long…. Term…. Girlfriend. Another bloody girl! I don’t deserve this!
BARBARA takes a few steps back and shouts at BILLY’s bedroom window.
(Shouting) I don’t deserve this! Do you hear me Billy! I don’t deserve this treatment and I can’t take it any longer! I’m a big girl (Liz tries to contain her laughter) and I have big expectations! I’m leaving you Billy! I’m leaving you for a better man!
BARBARA pulls off the ring and throws it at Liz. She then proceeds to storm offstage eating yet another orange.
The door opens and BILLY’s head emerges.
Billy (yawning) What’s all the fuss about?
His eyes scan the garden and an expression of shock hits his face.
He looks at Liz and then at the ring on her finger.
You’re wearing me ring!
Liz I know. Don’t you think it suits me?
Billy How did you get it?
Liz The chunky lass gave it me.
Billy The Wha’?.....Barbara? How?
Liz Stop muttering. I’ll tell you about it after you explain to me why you weren’t at that bloody train station last night!
Billy Well, to answer that question you’d have to first ask yourself………….
BILLY’s voice trail off into the background as the lighting fades and the curtain falls .
