In the spring Carmen started to plan her gap year, her biggest issue was on whether she would travel alone or with her friends, she decided on the former. Then it was where she should go to…there were so many places she would love to see; Thailand, Bali, Australia, Morocco…the prospects were so exciting for a nineteen year old. But there was one place she had to visit, a place she would have to visit alone, Venezuela. She hadn’t spoken to her father about Theresa since that brief conversation when she was younger and she could be forgiven for being a bit nervous about approaching him again. But it was a Saturday morning and he was eating breakfast with a cup of coffee and the paper so she hoped he would be relaxed.
“Dad, I’m going to Venezuela.”
No reply.
“Dad.”
“Sorry, Carmy what you’re going to..WHAT?!”
That was the kind of response she hoped she wouldn’t get but she had to persevere.
“Yup, I’ve decided it’s what I have to do, what I need to do and actually it’s a place I’d love to go to. I know you’ve never really spoken to me about my mother before but my God Dad, you have no idea how much I think about her every day, what she was like, was I like her? There are just so many things I need to see for myself and find out about which is why I need to go there. Her family’s my family too.”
And that was it. That was the moment both Carmen and her father saw that nothing was going to stop her from doing what she needed to do. Two months later she was on the plane to Caracas, she was so nervous; she hoped so much that her family would be everything she couldn’t explain about herself, even her fiery temper vexed her because her father was so placid, she knew that there was a South American streak inside her. Around her neck was the locket her father had given her for her thirteenth birthday, it had been her mothers and since that day Carmen had never stopped wearing it; inside was a picture of what she knew to be her mother and another of her man who she assumed to be her uncle but she never knew for sure if that’s who it really was.
Once Carmen had collected her luggage and gone through customs, which had been a surprisingly flippant affair compared to the strict rules and regulations at Heathrow Airport, she walked through the door where ahead would be the grandmother who she had wondered about since she was a little girl. As soon as she saw the little old lady standing at the arrivals lounge, she didn’t even have to look at the card with ‘Carmen’ on it, she knew who it was; her grandmother looked like the photo of her mother that she had in her locket, only older and had more wrinkles that people seem to gain over time.
The meeting between them was emotional. The two had a lot to catch up on, Carmen realised that she had inherited her fiery temper from her grandmother which was comforting to know. For the first few days that she was in Venezuela, the emptiness which she had had in her life had been filled; Carmen loved the colourful nature of her family’s life, their laidback attitude to life and was intrigued by the stark contrast to this life and the one she had left back in England. She felt almost guilty that she felt so at home there.
But here she was. Carmen was sitting on the terrace, she was drinking coffee and trying to make sense of the Spanish newspaper, she wondered if her father would be doing the same. Her uncle, Grigorio, came out and filled her cup with fresh coffee, he sat beside her, took a sip of his coffee and looked out on the horizon thoughtfully.
“What are you thinking, Tio?”
“Just thinking Carmy.”
They both sat silently for a moment. Grigorio looked over at his niece, paying particular attention to the necklace around her neck.
“I recognise this,” he said pointing to the locket.
Carmen opened it, showing the picture of her mother and…
“Whoa, Tio the guy looks like…is that you?”
The colour drained from his face.
“I didn’t think you knew?”
“Know what? Tell me!”
Grigorio rose from his chair. “No, I can’t. Sorry Carmy.”
Carmen had flown half way across the world to find out more of her secret life and she wasn’t about to be shunned away from any home truths. She stood in the way of her uncle defiantly.
“Grigorio, I came here to find out about my family and I want to go back to England knowing that it wasn’t a waste of time, for God’s sake please don’t treat me like a child.”
He sat down again, leaning one arm on the terrace table and ran his other hand through his hair, breathing out deeply.
“Carmen, I never thought I’d meet you. When I heard you were coming to Venezuela, I was so happy, happier than I’ve ever been. When Theresa left here I thought my world would end there and then. And then I got my only letter from her a month after she left, I’ll never forget it. It was July 17th on a morning not unlike this one when I found out she was pregnant. With my baby.”
Carmen sat silently. She wasn’t sure if she understood what her ‘uncle’ had just said.
“Grigorio are you telling me you’re my father.”
Then they both embraced each other so tenderly, tears flowing down both their faces. At last both of them found a truth in their life that fulfilled them. From that day things would never be the same. There were still so many questions left unanswered that Carmen needed to know…..
