City Lights. Today I went to a coffee shop after work. I couldnt face leaving my dark, tiny office and returning to my dark, tiny apartment.

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Jemma Davis IIJR

City Lights

When we walk around a city, there are items we always keep close to our person; wallets, phones, bags. To me, it seems that they connect us to the world and give us a feeling of purpose. So, you would imagine how strange I felt, walking with no bag and no purpose in New York City at 1:00 am. I felt, sort of free. Free from the bitter reality that is being an IT consultant for a big company. For sometimes if feel like my life is just a computer and a phone.

Today I went to a coffee shop after work. I couldn’t face leaving my dark, tiny office and returning to my dark, tiny apartment. I don’t normally like the taste of coffee; I drink it because everyone at my office does. But today I liked the bitterness, the bite made me feel alive. I saw the sun set through the window of the coffee shop. I watched the people walk by. Everyone had determination in their walk, these were people going somewhere. I didn’t know where I was going. When my cup was empty, I paid the bill, but when I was about to leave, I saw an old man sit down at the table next to me. His wrinkled skin drooped over his face, concealing his eyes. I was suddenly gripped by an insane and irrational fear. Fear coursed through my body setting me ablaze from inside. That’s me, in a few years, that man will be me. The thought of dying without accomplishing anything, of just living my whole life in this routine terrified me. I ran from the shop.

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Running felt good. I ran for what felt like hours, I ran till my heart pumped acid and my legs burnt. I stopped after a while and keeled over in the middle of a park. For once I didn’t care that people were staring at me. I didn’t care what they thought; I didn’t care how I looked. I felt like a huge weight had been pulled off of my chest, and just kneeled there, in that public park, in my own little enlightenment. I heard people snigger, but in my heart I pitied them. They could not know ...

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