“…I felt hungry but could not eat, tired but could not sleep, tormented by my imagination. ” She also “…started to cry…” and described: “It was hard to speak as the cries of pain echoed through my head.”
Another difference is the fact that each mother and daughter hurt each other in different ways. It is the mother’s unconditional love for her daughter in ‘A Mother’s Fondness’ that eventually jeopardises their relationship. As shown in the previous paragraph, Cathie’s mother cares considerably for her; it is this care and love that silences her anger in a desperate bid not to hurt Cathie- a bid that failed miserably.
“…I wanted to be angry, I wanted to show how worried I had been…It seemed as though she hated me and wanted to hurt me…”
This quote from ‘The Mother’ demonstrates the fact that the mother is hurting, not knowing exactly how her daughter feels due to her decision to remain silent likewise.
“There had been so much fuss and now she was acting as if nothing happened…I didn’t see any point in talking…I kept very quiet and pretended I wasn’t bothered.” (‘The Daughter’)
The fact that Cathie also fails to express her inner feelings leaves them interpreting each other’s actions poorly. Consequently, both mother and daughter are left hurting each other through their silence. Unlike Cathie and her mother, Jo and Helen hurt each other through their inability to remain quiet. It is paradoxical that it has become an abnormal normality for Helen to hurl wounding verbal abuse at her daughter without thought. During a heated argument Helen told her daughter that she was an un-wanted baby.
“I should have got rid of you before you were born.”(Pg 62)
As mentioned before and admitted by Helen herself, she doesn’t like to think. This is just one example of how Helen disregards her daughter.
more Helen rudeness. How this affects Jo.
More Jo rudeness showing she also has no respect.
Shown by Helen’s sheer lack of thought for her daughter Jo, she has no consideration for her feelings. She continually ensures the suppression of her daughter and at one stage has the audacity to express this on a confrontational level.
“…I have to consider something far more important than your feelings.”(Pg 1)
This is further confirmation of Helen’s severe disrespect and heartlessness towards her daughter. An attitude which stemmed from her initial rejection to motherhood and forthcoming child. She blames Jo for her divorce-her birth being the event that revealed Helen’s unfaithfulness to the husband she described as a retard. In my judgement, she has not learnt to handle her problems and take full responsibility for her ‘immoral doings’. This has proven very costly in both her and her daughter’s lives.
Cathie’s mother’s consideration for her can be described as the other end of the extreme. Her calm, quiet approach to the situation reveals how valuable she sees their relationship; enough not to be damaged in a way that Helen made possible.
The fact that Helen doesn’t know much about her daughter and Cathie’s mother feels she knows her daughter is of significance in their relationship. Helen’s reaction to Jo’s personal drawings was one of shock, yet pleasant surprise.
“ I didn’t realise I had such a talented daughter.”
This demonstrates not only the fact that she hasn’t spent quality time learning and bonding with her daughter, but the sad reality that Helen hasn’t desired to. Prior to the above quote, Helen implied that she expected her daughter to tell her everything about herself – she has a right to know.
“I thought you said you weren’t good at anything”
Here, we see that Helen has just taken Jo’s word for the matter; she has simply accepted it and not bothered to know otherwise.
The fact that some daughters are able to talk to their mothers about boyfriends/relationships shows the closer friendship a mother and daughter can share. Helen didn’t know whether or not Jo ad a boyfriend, and this mirrors the lack of confidence Jo has in Helen as a Mother, let alone a friend. Helen doesn’t seem to possess ‘A Mother’s Fondness’ – the built-in, unconditional, love and interest a Mother has in the welfare of their child.
On the other hand, Cathie’s mother feels that she knows her child all too well. She is confident that her daughter wouldn’t understand her if she showed she was angry:
“ I knew that she would not see my anger, as love for her”
The Mother’s maternal instincts lead her to believe something was not right when her daughter didn’t arrive home on time. This shows that Cathie is respectful of her Mother’s wishes to be home on time. Her mother is familiar with her character and feels she knows her. She says:
“…she would have poured to tell me if she was going away anywhere.”
When each Mother-daughter relationship begins to encounter difficulty, the Mother’s react differently. Cathie’s Mum blames herself for her daughter’s behaviour. She is fully aware of her parental responsibilities/duties. She knows that her actions have a deep impact on her daughter and their relationship status.
“I had failed…it was my fault she was as she was. I had brought myself pain.”
The Mother distinguishes the problem and wants to make amends to their estranged relationship. She does her best to prevent yet another hurtful row and keeps silent; praying it won’t happen again.
Helen however, (as mentioned previously) doesn’t spare a single thought for her daughter’s feelings. She quite willingly expresses her thoughts and emotions in a rude and obnoxious manner and openly declares that she is not responsible for her daughter or their situation.
“Have I ever laid claim to being a proper mother.”
This quote shows that she is not hypocritical about herself, which in a way is a good thing. However, there is nothing positive about Helen’s approach to motherhood. Unlike Cathie’s Mother who blames herself, Helen points her finger at Jo:
“It’s your fault…”
In act__scene__, Helen attempts to justify her reasons for neglecting Jo.
“QUOTE”
The way in which the daughters are portrayed in the text differ in that so much sympathy is evoked in the audience for Jo. She has had to live her life and grow up without a true Mother. She has not had someone to look up to, someone to show her love and be a backbone, especially during the time of adolescence. The atmosphere at the flat is one of hopelessness, tension and distress, which is why we feek sirr for her. SETTING ON STAGE
In ‘A Mother’s Fondness’ we sympathise with the Mother as she cares so much for her daughter who feels as if she doesn’t.
Despite the many differences in each mother-daughter relationship, there are also many similarities. One of which is the way both daughters use some form of escapism to avoid facing up to their problems. When Cathie learned that her mum had been everywhere looking for her, she asked her friend Elaine if she could stay and not return home. She had missed two busses and expected that her mum would be very upset with her.
“She would be furious…This meant another row.
Elaine, I don’t want to go home. Can’t I stay here?”
It is evident from this quote that Cathie would rather remain with her friend, away from home and the prospect of another argument with her mother. This teaches the audience that the disagreements she had with her mother were emotionally very damaging – she couldn’t bear another instance wherein she and her mother were on bad terms.
Unlike Cathie, Jo recites nursery rhymes for fun with Geoff. This can be read into and analysed in a psychological sense: the nursery rhymes bring her laughter, which aids in transporting her to the childhood she never enjoyed.
“ You look like a spratt. Jack Spratt, who’d eat no fat, his wife would eat no lean and so between then both, you see, they licked the platter clean. Did u enjoy that dramatic recitation?” (pg51)
Her question at the end prompts a positive response from Geoff who doesn’t want to deflate her cheerful mood. She encourages that he joins in, wanting someone to play with as it were.
“You say one” – We can imagine that this was said with a happy expectant look upon her face. Geoff then proceeds to recite another rhyme and upon completion, she expresses how much she enjoyed it:
“I like that. Do you know any more?”
Jo is keen that this playful, childlike interaction between them continues. She gets much more out of it than would any other average person. The fun factor and distraction nursery rhymes brought about were doing her good – she was not dwelling upon thoughts of her broken family.
Both Jo and Cathie feel as though they are not receiving enough care and attention – they want to feel loved. This is another similarity found in each relationship. During the car journey Cathie and her mother made home, they remained silent (as previously highlighted). Though most other teens resent the fact that in the same situation, their mum’s would talk endlessly about how worried they were and so on, Cathie would rather that was the case.
“ I was angry…she was acting as if nothing had happened…She simply didn’t care about me…”
In any relationship, it is important that there is balance between certain factors. Cathie and her mum are at one end of the extreme maintaining their silence - no fuss. This is the absolute opposite to Jo and Helen who are at the other end of the extreme.
In Jo’s case, she threatens to jump out of the window in order to determine whether or not Helen cares about her. She wants to hear someone does actually care for her. Her desperation and longing for love is made evident in her dramatic actions. Jo is aware that the concept of actions speaking louder than words is never going to be a reality for her. Therefore she resorts to grabbing any ounce of ‘love’ Helen had to offer her – even it was mere words. This attention seeking is to be expected from Jo, as Helen never really gave Jo a mother’s love.
We can be certain that a lack of communication is common within each relationship. We’ve seen how Cathie’s mother found it difficult to express her upset to her daughter and visa versa. We also know that the effects of this were negative: Cathie felt that her mother didn’t care for her, and her mother felt that Cathie hated her. The two of them are alike in that they pretend that everything is ok between them when there are clearly important issues to be tackled and discussed. It is important that each mother and daughter feel they can talk to each other on a mature and serious level. At times, we see Jo making attempts to do so. However, Helen does not respond to this very well and is constantly changing the subject showing her inability to listen to her daughter.
