The structure of ‘On my first Sonne’ is simpler than ‘Affliction’. It consists of six rhyming couplets, making up just one verse in which Jonson, as a parent pays tribute to his dead son. This makes the poem look like an inscription on a tombstone. Duffy’s poem ‘Before You Were Mine’ also has a fairly regular structure comprising four verses of five lines each, but with no regular rhyme scheme. Like ‘Affliction’, each verse describes a different thought, with the last verse describing the most recent thoughts.
The poem ‘My father though it bloody queer’ by Armitage has a less regular structure than any of the three poems I have mentioned above. There are three verses, each with a different number of lines, and there is no regular rhyme scheme. As in ‘The Affliction of Margaret’ and ‘Before You Were Mine’, the effect of the verses is to separate the different ideas about the relationship between parent and child in the poem – the first verse describes his father’s reaction to the earring, the second goes back to when he had his ear pierced, and the third describes how he now finds himself saying the same things as his father.
Each poet uses a different style of language to describe the parent/child relationship. In ‘The Affliction of Margaret’, there is a confused, obsessive style of language. Margaret often contradicts herself: “Neglect mel no I suffer long / from that ill thought”. This shows her desperate state of mind. The language in ‘On my first Sonne’ is gentler and calmer. Jonson wants his son to “Rest in soft peace”, and this expresses his tenderness towards his son and his acceptance that he has lost him.
‘Before You Were Mine’, on the other hand, uses conversational language to convey the idea that the poet is talking to her mother. Phrases such as “You reckon it’s worth it” give the poem a personal feel and show that the poet is empathising with her mother. Similarly, ‘My father’ uses a conversational tone to show the relationship between son and father, although he does not address his parent directly. Colloquial phrases like “rolled home” give the poem a down-to-earth, everyday feel.
The attitudes towards parent/child relationship vary between the different poems. In ‘Affliction’, the breaking down of the relationship causes Margaret despair: the question “Was ever darkness like to this?” shows she cannot imagine a worse situation that the one she is in. Similarly, Jonson’s feelings in ‘On my first Sonne’ are ones of sadness. However, the knowledge that his son is dead has allowed him to come to terms with what has happened; he says that perhaps death is the best state to be in, as his son has “scap’d worlds, and fleshes rage”. He is also very proud of his son.
Feelings about parent/child relationship in the post-1914 poems are less clear cut. In 2Before You Were Mine’, the poet admires her mother’s rebellious life before she was born: she calls her “Marilyn”, which shows she sees her as glamorous. However, the poet seems to think her own birth deprived her mother of this exciting life, forcing her to be responsible. In ‘My Father’, the parent/child relationship is strained, as the father mocks the child for his attempt at rebellion. Now he has grown up, the poet finds himself saying the same things as his father, but we can see that the memory of his father’s reaction still hurts, as he describes “my own voice breaking like a tear”.
All four of these poems take an interesting angle on the trials and tribulations of parent/child relationships. I feel that the most affecting is ‘On my first Sonne’. I find this poem very moving, as Jonson bids a fond farewell to his son. He describes his son as his “best piece of poetrie”, and I feel this is a beautiful way of showing the pride he had in his child.
