Compare the ways that Havisham and Our Love Now explore conflicts in a romantic relationship

Secondly, both poems make references to death. In Havisham, the idea of death is used to show the degree of hatred Havisham feels for her ex-fiancé, as she says herself, that she ‘wishes him dead’. Havisham portrays her ferocious desire for her ex-fiancé to die by describing how tightly she holds her fists, with the metaphor that her veins becoming ‘ropes’. The use of the noun ‘ropes’ gives a sense of morbid tone as Havisham says herself later that she can use them to ‘strangle’ and kill her ex-fiancé. Moreover, she ‘stabbed’ the wedding cake after she was jilted. On the surface, it might be just an angry action, but on a deeper, more sinister level, it could represent her fierce hatred towards her ex-fiancé as ‘stabbed’ is a very violent word often linked with murders while wedding cake represents the occasion which she was jilted. The final lines of the poem further demonstrate her hatred to her ex-fiancé. The line ‘Give me a male corpse for a long slow honeymoon’ can be interpreted as her desire to find the man she hates, kill him, and then do as she pleases with his corpse. In contrast, in Our Love Now, the idea of death is used to portray the hopelessness of the relationship. The narrator’s lover uses the word ‘bleached’ to describe the skin after a burn, which the narrator uses as a metaphor of their relationship. The use of ‘bleached’ suggests that all the colours are drained from their relationship, therefore no trace of emotion or love can be found. Moreover, an object that is ‘bleached’ loses its colour permanently, implying that there is no chance of revival in their relationship. Another metaphor used to demonstrate this idea is ‘the tree is forever dead’. Also, bleach is a strong detergent itself and kills everything it touches, giving in impression that there is no sign of life in their relationship. The use of ‘dead’ further demonstrates the lifelessness of their relationship. It also suggests that it is the end and there is no hope of revival. The use of ‘forever’ adds a sense of certainty that their relationship can never be reconciled as it refers to a limitless time.        

Thirdly, both poems have a regular structure, with Havisham written in four regular quatrains and Our Love Now written in four rows of two stanzas with the same number of lines in each stanza. In Havisham, the regular structure suggests that she will always stay in this state of irrationality and can never get back to normal. It emphasises the fact that by jilting her at the altar, her ex-fiancé has ruined her entire life. Similarly, in Our Love Now, the regular structure also suggests that the chance of the relationship between the narrator and his lover getting better is dim, especially when the tone of the narrator’s lover is so indifferent; it is not likely for a big change to occur hat bring about hope in their relationship. It also highlights the theme that the pain and hurt a person experiences in a relationship can have a serious effect on the relationship itself and when too much pain and hurt is experienced, love can be extinguished forever.

In conclusion, both poems have a range of effective methods to show conflicts in a romantic relationship, but I enjoy Havisham more as the use of oxymoron like ‘beloved sweetheart bastard’ strongly and effectively shows the emotional struggle the narrator experiences. It also explains why the event has such a powerful effect on her. After all, if she does not love him, she would not be hurt so deeply, nor would she hold on so strongly to the memory.